When a Wedding Guest Declines...does anyone else take it personal?

That being said, I'm also waiting on an RSVP from a friend from college, and I have a slight feeling they're going to RSVP "no". She's mentioned on Facebook a few times about a trip to Italy planned this summer, and as I'm playing around with different posts she's made, the timeline is coming together and it seems like it is going to overlap with our wedding. If this is the case, I'll honestly be pretty hurt/annoyed.

1- Like you said I made a point to go to her wedding (missing it was never an option)

2- She knew the date of the wedding since LAST February

3- I understand if an amazing opportunity has come up, and no way would I expect her not to take it, but at least have the decency to tell me as soon as you know you won't be coming. Just common courtesy.

But of course I could be blowing everything out of proportion... so I'll keep you posted.

I wouldn't take it personally, as I have had to decline going to a few weddings of friends that mean the world to me, but finances and conflicts wouldn't allow for it. I guess it's all perspective. put yourself in their shoes. Do you decline weddings just because you don't want to pony up a gift? I am expecting declines from certain people who never attend family gatherings, but felt obligated to invite (aunts, uncles).

I really didn't want to be disappointed when I got declines so we chose wording that doesn't actually say "no" or "decline" - they say Will celebrate from afar.

Sorry you are feeling slighted.

Bella - i honestly dont know how i will feel --- i guess i will see when i send the invites out

however - there are some people that would make me sad if they said no.........

My great aunt (grandma's twin) declined going to my aunt's wedding because my great uncle was pretty sick and they would have had to travel for over 2 hours. My aunt took it offensively and for the past ten years she refuses to be around her. We can't invite my great aunt to anything anymore. Which is especially stupid now that my great uncle passed a few years ago. I don't understand why people would get upset. Not everyone can afford to travel hours, or have the health to travel. Maybe they can't get time off work. I wouldn't get offended if anyone declined.

People decline for a bunch of reasons. With the economy not the best, one venue coordinator told me the decline rate is going up. People may have to pay for travel, hotel accomodations, a gift, and maybe a new outfit to wear. It can really add up. People can also have vacation plans, work commitments, etc. I wouldn't get too upset by declines. It means more money in your pocket.

I havent sent my invites out yet but i was thinking about this. I think I might with certain people if they decline.

I don't take much personally, in general. My own grandparents don't want to drive 3 hours (or even get picked up by my dad) because my grandma's been tired lately and doesn't want to stay in a hotel. They don't really have any health issues, just this being tired thing.

I figure - if it doesn't work for them, it's not the end of the world. We'll celebrate another time. I really don't expect people to drop everything for my wedding, even some of my family members.

Sometimes I really feel offended but you really can't let it impact your relationship. People can have a million reasons why they aren't attending a wedding and they don't owe you any explanation or justification, just the RSVP no.

Just take it as those who matter most to you will be there and everyone else is missing out on something amazing!

I wasn't offended. Our wedding was Thanksgiving weekend and I know that's a busy time for families etc. I was just grateful for the people who were able to come. The people who truly wanted to be there, were.

@ erin how exactly am I overreacting? No reason was given for them not coming, they have yet to call and let us know why. Its more of an issue of we supported them for both their engagement party & wedding and they can show us the same respect? they knew our wedding date since last year..you will see when you send out your invites and get declines from people you least expected it from. People are extremely selfish during peoples weddings & like I said we are only doing this once.

I'm a bit worried about this myself. FH and I are planning an intimate wedding of only 70 guests, all family who we consider super close. I realize some of our family may have trouble getting babysitters, etc. and may not be able to come, but there are definitely a few individuals that I have in mind, that if they don't show up to our wedding, I will take it very personally.

I think if they were our close friends, it will bother us if we didn't know why. We know things happen. We are actually hoping most of the older people can't make it due to space. But I think you shouldn't take it personally because a lot are happening in life that you may not know about.

Just be thankful for those that do come and want to be there for you. That's more special.

I'm actually hoping for declines! We're over our guest list (we wanted no more than 250, even though our venue can hold up to 1000) and FH's guest list includes former neighbors he hasn't seen in over 17 years.

But I would feel a little bad depending on who it is. People have other obligations, plans, etc. One of my dearest friends (who is also the wife of one of the groomsmen) was asked to stand up in her cousin's wedding the same day as mine, so she is going to that wedding and her husband will be at ours! I'm sad she can't make it, but I understand. And another good friend of mine already told me he most likely won't be there because he's broke (college student, out of state, no money to travel!), wish he could be there, but I'm not going to take it personally.

I'm with Bethanie, I'm hoping people decline! I wouldn't take it personally.

LOL ok erin. You seem to be missing the point.

Yes I am experiencing it now. So selfish and there’s just no respect from some people.

View Quoted Comment No it is selfish. They have no morals, only if you know they have no other plans and talked to them already. If they did have something going on you’d know because at least they’d have the audacity to tell you that. If they don’t they probably are just being cheap and don’t want to see other people being happy? That’s how some people are.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this !

They invited us to their wedding so I felt obligated to invite them. Also My fiance WAS friends with her husband. But im glad they declined. I did my part but it shows her true colors. In reality she is very selfish and jealous.

DH’s stepdad cancelling his RSVP a week before was kind of a kick in the teeth. His stepdad and mom have been married over 20 years.
Then had another girl cancel a month before. Then she sent me an invitation for her Bridal shower and wedding less than a week later. She is the fiancé of a cousin. He’s coming. She’s not. She had a “work thing.” Then her bridal registry has nothing under $50. Hate to be petty, but she didn’t show to the bridal shower and now not the wedding with a cancel pretty dang close to the wedding. Wth