When a Wedding Guest Declines...does anyone else take it personal?

I know I shouldn't have, but some of them really made me mad. Especially when I invited them (because they were related) and not someone else that I knew would come.

It's sad that a wedding is when you have to see ppl true colors... It def doesn't make sense that they would invite you to all of there wedding stuff, but not come to yours. Maybe they have a legit reason?

I haven't gotten any declines yet, but we're still waiting for more than half of our RSVPs. smh! I text a good amount of ppl on Sunday and 1 couple responded today and we got back a RSVP today as well. I'm hoping that ppl dnt wait until the last minute to decline.

Shamika- my rsvp due date was last month & i'm still receiving RSVPs!!!!!

I didn't take it personal . People already had plans. I don't expect then to cancel their plans for my wedding. Now if my mom or someone like that declined them yeah I would take that personal.

I honestly hope a lot of people decline HAHA! A lot of my guest list is out of family obligation not choice. I'd like the wedding to be small (no more than 100). Of course I'd be really offended if my closest friends declined, but they are all in my wedding, so hopefully that doesn't happen

I can see how you'd be offended that you went to someone else's but they aren't coming to yours. Maybe they have a really legitimate excuse? Maybe not. Idk. Sorry

Just know that it's still your wedding day and you are going to have a fantastic day no matter what!

My"friends" got married back in oct 2011. Two of my girl friends and one guy friend was in the wedding. They bent over backwards for the wedding, and hosted a few things like the bridal shower and bacheloret party. After the wedding they pretty much stopped taking to ask of us and hanging out with us. There was no drama from them but from other wedding party members. So I learned early that some people can be horrible friends.

I wouldn't take it personally-setimes people have things to do that unfortunately overlap with a wedding they're invited to. Case en pointe: FH & I were invited to a dear friend's wedding on 7/18/14. My parents decided to fly in from FL & go to family reunion AND my family bridal shower is scheduled that wkd in another city. Do I bail on my shower & visit with my parents so I can go to a wedding? Of course not! That's unreasonable. What I did do was RSVP in a timely manner & let my friend know that we'd love to be there but it wasn't feasible. He understood & no hard feelings. Think of it as money saved!

Well reasons weren't even given & we didn't even ask. Save the dates were out last year, so they knew the date and could plan accordingly. I'm talking about it being the principle also. We went to both their engagement party & wedding- you can't return the favor to us as well? We spent a lot of $ on them and I doubt we will even see a gift from them. I would never do this to someone.

Some people truly have conflicts and other plans. It's not necessarily a slap in the face and it's best to try not to take it personally. There may also be financial considerations. It's very expensive to attend a wedding with a gift, new outfit, travel / gas and accommodations. Not everyone is in a position to be able to attend.

I haven't sent mine out, but am already preparing for this. I know I'll be upset when I get the declines. Especially if it's from family. Some I already expect declines from because they live so far away (like my uncle in Alaska, I live in Pennsylvania). Same with family in Florida, Kentucky and Arizona.

As long as they show regret and wish you well, try not to take offense. Sometimes they just can't make it.

Nope, didn't phase me at all. I didn't expect my wedding to be a big deal to anyone but me, DH, and close family. The only 'decline' that hurt was my grandfather who declined a year in advance, before he even knew the date. WTF? You're so mad at my dad you won't even come see your grandchild get married? Ah, well-- on the Day Of, I had too many wonderful friends and family around to worry about those who couldn't/didn't make it.

I had a few i expected would come that didnt and it upset me at first but they were all out of state and I knew it was a 50/50 shot.

My aunt was out of vacation days and her apartment building had just burned down and my aunt and uncle had testing for their grandson who they are the guardians of since his mom has passed and he wouldn't have passed without being there. So all very reasonable excuses but there was still that thought that ooooh that sucks those are the people I really wanted to come. But life happens

We had a few not even RSVP no that I was hoping, that was a bummer as well.

Just because you gave a gift to someone is not a reason for them to show up to your wedding and give a gift in return. People have their own lives and I recognize that. So the "nos" don't affect me. Everyone will not be as excited as you are for your wedding. And to me, that's ok.

I haven't sent out invites yet but have a fraling that I will take it personal with some people. It's hard not too. We sent out our save fve dates really far in advanced. Hope ever we do hope for some declines since were aiming for a particular number.

It won't phase me at all but I think FH will be upset. I'll be celebrating with every decline because our list grew bigger than I wanted it but FH keeps saying he just can't imagine his list declining so I think it'll be a slap in the face to him. He invited people he hasn't seen in over a year+ (one couple I hadn't even heard of until we were making our guest list) so I think his list will actually have the highest decline rate. I don't take any of it personally. Sometimes people have work or plans, can't afford it, or just don't feel that close. In any of those cases, I don't want/expect them to come. It's a day about us committing to each other, not seeing how many friends we can buy dinner. Lol.

It is disappointing when the guests decline, but I would take it more personal if they suddenly declined a couple of days before the wedding or didn't show up on the day of the wedding. Most of my guests gave me a very good reason why they can't come, so that was acceptable. But you are right bella628, you only do this once in your life and people close to you should also take importance in that and do everything possible to attend.

I wouldn't take it personally except in select cases. I of course would love for everyone to come, thats why we invited them. We are however having one problem with FSIL who "doesn't know yet" if she'll be able to come due to not having a babysitter..told her bring all the kids (even though we were originally having no kids--were trying to be accommodating to her) but then she says she doesn't want to bring them. This is the only kind of decline I would take personally. My best friend lives out of state and was supposed to be a bridesmaid. She can't make it and it totally sucks but it's out of her control so I would never hold that against her.

I'll be sad if the people I really want to be there aren't. But I also understand that people have their own lives. I know that my wedding, while a wonderful, once in a lifetime thing for me, isn't as important to anyone else. I'm going to try not to take it personally.

And really, just because I went to another person's wedding, that doesn't mean that they are in any way obligated to come to mine. It's not a popularity contest, and certainly it's not a reason to lose friendships...

I honestly thought I would but nah. Good thing too since we had like 40 people decline lol. Most of the reasons I was given (on my side) was having to work and I understand that. A few other reasons was one being put into hospice (but his wife is still coming) and another is having emergency knee surgery. Good reasons!

So far only one has really upset me... a family I used to nanny for, but they had already planned their family vacation. I have one RSVP that's pending, and the family told me they may not be able to make it because of finances- they live in VA and we're getting married in CT... in the last month they've had to buy a new refrigerator, oven/stove, washer, drier, motorcycle (husbands main means of transport), and recently bought a new car (before knowing they would have all of these other expenses) so they now have a new car payment. I will be bummed if they can't make it, but what are you going to do?