What's the point of a bridal shower?

It makes a lot more sense when you think of what it originally was--at least supposedly, it was when a woman's father didn't have enough to make her dowry, so her friends and family would shower her with gifts for her dowry so she could marry the man she chose.

It's just a holdover tradition that might be fun, but isn't necessary. If you don't want one, don't have one. Or, change it up to a girl's margarita night, and then invite me.

Most showers are what they described but it doesn't have to be like that. We had a brunch with a handful of ladies I requested no gifts, and we had so much fun! It's just a chance to get together to celebrate your upcoming wedding.

Oh great, another Emily. I think this is #400. If it feels redundant and pointless to you, then don't have one. Very simple.

It's a tradition and you can choose to decline a shower if you want. A lot of people spend a portion of the money they would spend on a wedding gift on the shower.

I think showers make sense for a lot of couples. For example, DH and I didn't live together before we got married and we moved out of our college apartments in together so all we really had was plastic plates and mismatched silverware from garage sales. We literally had to stock our entire first home together. It is a tradition so couples aren't side eyed for having a shower, but if it doesn't make sense for you or makes you uncomfortable to have one then you can decline.

As others have said, the idea is to "shower" the bride with what she needs to set up a household. Honestly, in my circle showers equates to physical gifts and the majority of people give cash at the wedding. If you either don't need anything or in your social circle most people give gifts at the wedding then it is fine to forgo the shower.

@Emily, tell me about it! lol

@Nicole, yeah, I current live with FH in a furnished home...we're pretty much all set on the home furnishings front.

I think showers are really dumb too. My BM's and FMIL were horrified that I didn't want one, so as a compromise we are having a "get-together" or whatever they are going to call it at a winery because who doesn't love wine? No gifts because it's boring to watch someone open a bunch of household items. I can buy my own dishes and bath towels thank you very much.

If you come from a region where bridal showers are not customary, I can see why they would seem redundant/hard to justify. While your friends and loved ones will probably wish to throw one for you, you can always decline, you're not obligated to say yes. You can also ask for "alternative" types of showers. For example, a recipe shower, where guests will be asked to bring copies of their favourite recipe(s) to share with you.

@AMW: That's pretty neat, I had no idea that's where the custom came from!

Get drunk an celebrate your new life on an presents

I just want to add, besides the gifts.. It's a good opportunity to plan games and activities for friends and family who might not be attending the bachelorette party. Just a fun celebration.

It's an old European custom from the 1800's (that's what I remember, and I'm not looking it up on Wiki). At the time, brides were actually leaving their parents' home after the wedding and setting up a "traditional" household. That meant that lots of items were needed to furnish the home. Pots and pans, dishes, cutlery, glassware, linens, etc., etc., etc. It was a community coming together to help the couple begin their new home. The idea came to the US at the turn of the century, and during that time, women typically left their father's home and moved in to their husband's homes.

Now? Let's face it -- a majority of women are either financially independent and already live alone by the time the wedding day rolls around (and have equipped their kitchens and linen closets), or they already live with their future spouses. That's why we routinely hear, "We already have everything we need for the house, so can I just ask for cash or gift cards at my shower?" (answer...no, you can't). Believe me, it's in your best interest to find some non-necessities and register for them. Then, you'll get them at your shower.

If you find the entire idea offensive or redundant, then don't have a shower; or you can gave a pre-wedding gathering that doesn't involve gifts. You can do a recipe shower. You can do a get-together with hosted food and drink. Chances are that people will feel odd walking in empty handed, so they'll probably pick up random stuff they like, but you don't. Just register or don't have a shower.

My FH feels the same way! And then I kindly remind him that he's still living at home and I just have my microwaveable plates and bowls from college and like 2 cheap Walmart towels haha ... I hope that's not gift grabby! My bridesmaids are already talking about planning a surprise bridal shower. Plus I think most people are genuinely happy to help ...

I loved my shower, not because of the gifts. Don't get me wrong, it was nice getting new dishes and our new sheets are the best things ever. I appreciate the presents. But the thing about the shower was the gathering of all the women who are important to me, coming together to celebrate with me. All of my aunts, cousins, and friends, plus my mom, stepmom, FMIL, sister, daughters, and nieces, together. It made my heart sing.

I really appreciate Jacqui76's sentiments. I've attended many bridal showers as a guest and find the tradition of women gathering in support and celebration of the bride pretty wonderful. I usually kind of dread them, especially if I'm on the fringe of the group (FH's nephew's bride) but I always end up having a really good time. The added bonus is that you get to know a bunch of people and the wedding is more fun. That's my 2 cents. Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best!