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Dedicated April 2013

What’s the etiquette when co-workers (not invited to the wedding) want to throw you a shower?

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Giselle, on February 27, 2013 at 4:59 PM

A lady from work, to whom I am fairly close to but is not invited to the wedding, just sent me an email saying she wants to make a group lunch to celebrate and wish me well. She asked me to send a list of people I would like to invite. Also stated that by no means I should feel obligated to invite her to the wedding or anything. I appreciate it so much and it is so sweet from her, but I feel so bad. She also asked me where I was registered, so I am assuming it is a luch/shower. I know it is not rude to her as it is her idea but how about the other ladies that I could potentially tell her to invite to this lunch that are not invited to the wedding? I don't wanto to be rude to them.

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Kelly · on February 27, 2013 at 11:28 PM
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I would not expect an invite at all. Ive done the shower thing many a times at my old job. We loved throwing showers just because we cared and wanted to give. Dont worry and just enjoy it.

What I would do, well Im going to do.. is throw a mini celebrate my marriage party for people I could not invite like co workers. (The job I left two years ago I worked at for 10 years so I still have some work buds)

Months later like a BBQ or a meet me at the bar/restaurant night out. Something to hang with my peeps and celebrate! Milk it... hahahahaha
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MAMORBR · on May 24, 2019 at 1:41 PM
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Your opinion does not count, unless you conducted a survey on how they felt. Don"t assume, just play it the sensitive way!
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MAMORBR · on May 24, 2019 at 1:42 PM
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I disagree, I think is selfish!
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MAMORBR · on May 24, 2019 at 1:43 PM
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I like this idea!
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Master 0000
Judith · on May 24, 2019 at 5:27 PM
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Regular exception to the rule of shower guests being only those invited to the wedding: When a subset of the brides friends, from work, neighborhood, an activity ( choir, quilting, bible study) or sports made up almost entirely of people not invited to the wedding, all choose to do a shower. Usually there is one big gift from everyone, or small groups pitch in for a few. The value of gifts per person is small, and if there are a couple of people who are going to the wedding, they may participate ( can't send them home from work). But they should keep to the same token sum presents. And larger shower or wedding gift, they give at another time. These are usually given in the last 2 months after invitations for the wedding showers given by and for those going to the wedding, and the actual wedding, have gone out. So everyone participating knows right from the start, this is the only wedding party they will be attending. . . . Two of these were my favorite showers, in lots of ways.
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