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Whats the deal with this guy?

Friendshipproblem, on December 5, 2021 at 4:39 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 3
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For 6.5 years Ive known this person and we’re close friends:

  • Told me and display one emotion in situations but comes back and tells me he felt differently actually (three different situations) years later
  • Most overly used statements “its fine.” “Yeah that makes sense.” “Yeah that sucks” “Its been chill.” in most situations, when asked how his day went, when I voice my opinions/have an issue with him” mostly any situation it’s one of these three variations
  • Mostly never talks about himself, issues/emotions, family childhood anything at all
  • Literally almost never depicts stress or anxiety despite being in a high stress profession
  • In the 6.5 years Ive know him he never talked about having a bad day/week. Only 1 time he admitted to “applications are getting to me a little bit”
  • Rarely shares things about himself ( I literally counted and I know only 9 things about him the 6.5 years I known this person). Meanwhile he probably knows like at least 70+ or so about me.
  • Seems annoyed when friends and close friends ask any personal questions. Replies “what else is there to know about?”
  • He admitted he struggles reaching out to people, even his friends, to initiate contact
  • He said his friends had a hard time talking to him when they have an issue with him, and he doesnt understand why that is bc “its all good after they talk to me why dont they talk to me they said they had a hard time approaching me I dont get it am I intimidating or something”
  • He said “I dont express these things, but why dont you prompt me and ill let you know” (when asked I have no idea what I mean to him or our friendship or where we stand)
  • Seems to uses my own words that I use to describe my emotions to express himself back to me?????
  • Defensive to an extent & Detached to some extent / looking at things logically when its his fault
  • Hasn’t been in a relationship (liked someone in the past, slept with someone once) but thats all I know


………im thinking this person is struggling with an issue. I have an idea of what this issue is. what are your thoughts? Is this weird to anyone else. He is male mid twenties

he claims im a close friend, “im one of his trusted inner circle”, “he doesnt actively hide things from me” “we’ve been friends for a long time and i care about you obviously” “i value the friendship” all things he said to me just these past few months. but why does this sound to like acquintances to other people thats whats bothering me somethings seems off… very off

we were college friends, we hang out and stuff when we get the time either in a group setting but also one on one (but i need to ask).

other people who are close to him say that he is like this with them as well???? like two other (females) who have known him as long as i. and compared to them they see me more close to him than they are, and they consider themselves to be close friends to him as well.

3 Comments

Latest activity by Samantha, on December 6, 2021 at 8:25 AM
  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
    • Flag

    I don't really think there is any 'deal' about this person save for the fact that he is naturally very private and doesn't like to talk about himself and his personal life.

    I fully appreciate that it strikes you as odd that he considers you a close friend but you know little about him beyond a superficial value, but some people are just like that, they don't like to let people in or otherwise talk about themselves generally.

    It could be that there are reasons for this (i.e. anxiety or perhaps some trauma) or it could just be who he is. In any case, I wouldn't overthink it.

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  • Cece
    Rockstar November 2022
    Cece ·
    • Flag
    It sounds as though this person could be suffering from emotional detachment. Based on what you’ve written here, he is exhibiting most of the classic symptoms. However, there is no way for you, me or anyone else on this forum to diagnose such a thing; only a professional would be equipped to make a diagnosis. If he is suffering from ED, it may have been caused by some sort of trauma or he may have simply been born this way. Lots of people live normal lives with this condition and never seek any sort or treatment for it. Or, maybe he’s just a private person 🤷🏼‍♀️ Either way, he is obviously aware of the situation since multiple people have brought it to his attention. So now it is up to him determine whether he feels it is an issue he would like to seek help/therapy/treatment for.
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Rockstar May 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    Are you hoping something romantic will happen? If that's the case, I find it pretty unlikely, as he doesn't seem like he will be able to give you what you need. If its not a romantic thing you are seeking, Id unfortunately say you will just have to accept him for who he is and stop trying to make him something he isnt Smiley sad

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