What’s reasonable to ask guests to pay for a hotel room?

If I'm spending $250-$300 a night for a hotel room, it had better have a private bath. And I still likely wouldn't pay that much. And I can just imagine, if the rooms cost that much, how much food at the restaurant might be. Add that to travel costs, and I'd likely decline.

You said this hotel is on an island, and that all places on the island are pricey. Is there a ferry available? Any chance your guests can stay on the mainland, where prices are likely cheaper, and there are likely more options? If not, I'd expect a lot of Declines.

I just did a quick calculation and based on the prices you provided, it looks like the cost of buying out the resort for the weekend, just for the rooms (potentially not including taxes and/or other fees, future price increases, etc.) is at least $21,000. That seems like a lot of cost to shift to your guests. Is this still your "perfect venue" if you add that to your costs to host your wedding? If not, I'd keep looking.

On this website if can be controversial, but there are those who see an arrangement like the one you are considering as basically shifting a significant part of the cost of the wedding to the guests (e.g., "we get full-run of the venue and an all-night party because guests are going to pay a big chunk of the venue expense..."). This comes up a lot in destination wedding discussions. Again, how your guests perceive this option will depend a lot on their financial circumstances and typical spending and travel habits. If it's no big deal to all the extended family you hope will attend to drop at least a couple thousand dollars on a weekend wedding, cool. But, if there are family members for whom that would be a significant financial burden, I'd look for something else. (Or, consider options that would lower the cost, like an off-season date, a more central location, etc.) It's not easy figuring everything out. Good luck!

That seems like a lot to ask of most people, but a "reasonable" amount is different for everyone. I would ask your/your fiancés parents what they think of the prices to get a sense of how your relatives might feel before you start asking everyone.
If you're having a hard time getting a hotel block, it might be a good idea to use a service. The person who handles the search for you will probably have more sway with hotel managers than you do.
We don't have any of the same "busy season" issues as you, but I used Kleinfeld Hotel Blocks and it made the process really easy. Hotel Planner is another one you could try, but they sent a lot of emails from different people, and with Kleinfeld there was only one contact person for the whole thing and she was really helpful.

We live in a high cost of living area so when we stay in a hotel for a wedding or getaway night when my kiddo is with my parents we usually spend $200-$300 per night depending on the time of year. Sometimes for nicer hotels we get close to $400. I would never stay anywhere where we had to pay $500+ per night, especially if food wasn’t included, and I wouldn’t pay $200+ for a room that didn’t even include a private bathroom.

I'm the Puget Sound area too, but getting married at a hotel resort down in Portland. The rooms average $150-200 at the resort, and I negotiated room blocks with other nearby hotels for less than $150 to include breakfasts. We were limited in the # of rooms our venue could block for us so the other local blocks were necessity.

But ALL of my family is east coast, so I felt that having a variety of lower cost options was important to reduce the burden on them.

The room costs you're quoting sound prohibitively high, unless most of your family is actually wealthy. I can't imagine spending that much to go to anyone else's wedding personally.

I would not be willing to pay $250 a night for a place without my own bathroom for someone else’s wedding. I wouldn’t ask them to stay there.

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OP, I consider Katherine's accommodations reasonable. I would have no problem paying $150 per night for a room (with a bathroom). And it's a nice bonus that it includes breakfast!

Sorry we're all being negative about your plans for accommodations, but that really is quite expensive. We're just trying to be realistic with you.

I think that's too expensive. My FH was the best man in his best man's wedding at a resort and we had to pay $260/night for our place and had to be on site because he was the best man. $500+ just for lodging for the weekend was a lot more than either of us would have paid in any other circumstance. At least the cottage we had was spacious, beautiful, and private and overlooked the water.

$250+ night for communal bathrooms is just outrageous to me. If I was a guest invited to your wedding, I would look elsewhere for a cheaper option and opt not to stay on site. If that was the least expensive option available to me, I'm afraid to say I'm not sure I would attend unless we were very close.

You could go to an all inclusive resort for those prices! They are way too steep to ask guests to pay for.

I probably wouldn't reserve the whole resort because you would likely end up footing the bill. We're getting married at a resort on Fort Myers Beach during spring break. A year ago most of our guests were excited to pay $500 a night to stay at the resort.
Now, a month away, there is only 1 couple staying and everyone else found a cheaper air bnb or is staying with family.

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Exactly! I went to a friend's destination wedding in Mexico and payed $325 a night after taxes to stay in an all inclusive 5-star resort directly on the beach. I can't even fathom paying that much for a small cabin with a shared bathroom in Washington State...I hope the OP reads these comments and does some thinking.

No way is that reasonable, especially if people need to fly in.

Our venue was $169/night for a four star resort. If they wanted more than $200, I would have booked an additional block of rooms at a more affordable nearby hotel.

This is very expensive some of ur guest may not be able to afford. I would look up hotel rooms and hotels in your area where your Wedding will be held. Try to give them options.

That is a lot of money for guests. I would not spend it unless it was close family making the request. Otherwise I am looking for the least expensive “decent” place I can find. I’m already paying to go to a destination wedding in the way of airfare and other expenses. High end rooms would not be in my plan.
I would reach out to family and see what type of response there.

You would have no trouble get people to take rooms in the middle category (hotel like rooms with private baths). You’ll likely have serious problems filling the rooms either shared bathrooms but still cost 250 and the private cabins for 600 unless you know certain families will book those, e.g. this couple with their 3 kids will need space and they’re the type who pays for convenience like staying on the property vs a cheaper place off the property.


Cost of lodgings is very location dependent. We knee ours would be expensive so we listed rough cost per night on the travel and losing space of our website. If it’s too much for people, they know upfront and can rsvp accordingly. Our venue’s room block rates range from $400 to high 600s per night. However we don’t expect everyone to stay there and listed alternative lodgings. The closest is about 45 minutes away but guests can decide for themselves what they want to spend. There are also Airbnb rentals to be had for lower cost that are maybe 30 min away as well. Some of my family has booked those. As long as you communicate, it will work itself out.

One more comment and then I promise I'll stop...I was really curious about this so I asked my friend who lives in Seattle and has attended a bunch of destination weddings in this area. I have no idea what venue you're considering, but my friend said she attended a wedding at a place called Doe Bay and that the best decision she made was to not stay in the lodging on site...there were small cabins with shared bathrooms but the bathrooms were located far away from the cabins and the bride's mother had to run out and buy dozens of flashlights so guests could get to the bathrooms in the pitch black in the middle of the night. Apparently there were also no sinks in some of these bathrooms, minimal hot water in the showers, and the whole thing was a mess... Anyway, the wedding itself was lovely but the people who ended up staying in these cabins were pretty mad at the bride for leading them to believe the place was a resort and not a campsite. Of course, none of this may apply to you because I have no idea what venue you are considering--this is just what my friend told me about her experience at a wedding venue that sounds somewhat similar to yours. Whatever you decide, you will want to be upfront with your guests about the nature of these accommodations. If you're considering a venue like Doe Bay with shared cabins, make sure they know what to expect!

Hey hun, I was kind of in the same situation/thinking about the same thing withan airbnb wedding...but I dont want toask my guests to help pay for my venue. What we're probably going to do is secure a local venue...and then ask the bridal party and their s/o their opinion on getting an airbnb together for the weekend just for fun and to be together. It doesn't have to become the venue. And then that way it's up to them. And other guests can find hotels or stay wherever. You can still spend the weekend together...and if youget a big airbnb it would be way cheaper to all pitch in than get hotel rooms. Your guests shouldn't be paying more than they would for a hotel anywhere if they are traveling especially. Those prices are crazy.

Anytime you start spending other people's money for them, you run a risk.

I don't think it's reasonable at all. Yes it would be nice to have the whole place booked for your wedding by your wedding guests, but thats a very steep price and just unreasonable to ask of your guests. That would in a way be kind of the same as telling all your wedding guests that they need to help pay for the wedding. It's just something I personally wouldn't do. There are going to be guests who aren't going to financially be able to do that and therefore may not even attend your wedding. You might end up with a lot more people than you'd expect not going to your wedding. Also with that being said you might have a couple of people who say they will book a room and then at the last minute drop out and then you'll be stuck with that extra expense you weren't planning on having.

I would say that is very high and as a guest, I would not want to pay that! Honestly, I would recommend around 150-200 a night! When we asked our family members (of all different classes), that was about how much people can and are willing to spend. Remember, there are a lot of costs that they have to pay besides that. Flights, dog sitting, eating out for every meal, etc.