What's a reasonable timeline for a Catholic wedding followed by hors d'oeuvres and drinks?

Sometimes you can't avoid a long service. But 2 hours is a long time to be sitting. If you have kids or non-Catholics, they will get restless no matter how much they love you.


You can absolutely cut out the gap in between events by working with your vendors. Many reception sites are flexible with start times so you can have an earlier cocktail hour without disgruntled guests who potentially skip out on the ceremony when there is such a wide gap. The only gap should be driving time between venues and you can do it easily. When are you doing pictures? The majority before or after the ceremony?

Half of my family is Catholic and even with full Mass, they didn't go past an hour to 90 minutes.

There is nothing improper about heavy appetizers. With a reputable caterer, they actually provide much *more* food (think food stations for example) than you get with a plated meal. If someone goes home hungry from that, it's their own fault. Standard table and chairs (as if you were doing a plated meal) for every guest is mandatory because no one like to juggle a purse, plate and a drink with no free hand to eat in heels. People will leave early if there is not seating for everyone.
However if you do heavy appetizers, that IS dinner (and you say 'dinner reception to follow' and no one is going to eat a full meal between the ceremony and reception.
What time does your reception venue say you have to be out and clean up take place?

Sorry if this comes off as rude, but if you're going to have a 2 hour ceremony, then I do think it's tacky to not provide a full meal at the reception. I would be quite frustrated as a guest to have to sit through a 2 hour ceremony and then only get appetizers.

Generally, if you're not providing a meal, your reception should not be held during a meal time. If you just want to serve appetizers (and maybe cake?), consider holding the reception from 2:30-5:00 or 8:00-11:00 pm. What's your intention with not serving dinner? Is it to save money or do you want a more relaxed casual vibe? If you intend for your "heartier appetizers" to be a meal replacement, realize most times that costs more than just serving a meal (people grazing a lot over a long period of time can end up eating a lot). If I was invited to a reception that started at 6 or 6:30, I'd assume dinner would be served and wouldn't stop and eat dinner on the way to the reception. Most of our extended family is Catholic, I agree with the pp that even with a full Mass I've never attended a Catholic wedding that was much over an hour. I get the "Catholic gap," but for a guest it is not ideal, not providing dinner would potentially make it even less appealing. You asked if your idea is "tacky." It's definitely going to be pretty far outside the norm of what most guests would expect and not very guest friendly.

Oh wow! I’ve attended a lot of Catholic weddings and have never been to one that was two hours long. But, perhaps, all of your guests are used to that and expecting it. Given that lengthy ceremony alone, you definitely want to feed your guests. If you’re thinking of having heavy hors d’oeuvres, then you might want to add that on your invitation, saying something like “reception and appetizers following the ceremony”. The main thing is informing your guests. Otherwise, if they are expecting a full meal and it isn’t there, they’ll probably leave early to go eat. The difficult part is that, the time of your reception is when people eat dinner. So that’s something to keep in mind. I also think it’s smart to add the timeline on your website. That way your guests are aware that the ceremony is 2 hours long and they can plan accordingly.

Just making sure I understand your plan: 2-hour ceremony, 2-hour gap in which guests are expected to go get their own dinner somewhere, then small bites/snacks at the reception. That sounds quite inconvenient for guests, especially if they are from out of town and don't know the area. Will you tell them ahead of time that you won't be providing dinner?

If they do eat dinner between your ceremony and reception, your guests aren't likely to be hungry for much during the reception (it will be very difficult to estimate how much food to order), so maybe just cake will be needed. But then what about the ones who didn't know they were supposed to get their own dinner and do arrive at your reception hungry?

Since you don't want to provide dinner and to avoid the awkward hosting gap, can you do a cake/punch-style short reception after your ceremony? Then everyone can go get dinner on their own and go home after you cut your cake.

This plan is very rude. Gaps are rude and unnecessary with proper planning. Expecting guests to host themselves (buy themselves dinner) during a gap between your ceremony and reception is extremely rude.

Two hours for a Cathoic ceremony seems way too long. Ours is an hour. Is there a reason it's that long?

Is there a reason you can't start your reception earlier, like 5 or 5:30?

I think if your guests are sitting through a 2 hour ceremony AND then have a 2 1/2 hour gap before the reception, it would be quite rude not to provide dinner as your guests will be hungry and that gap time in between is a long time.

Is there a reason why your Catholic church is having a 2 hour ceremony? I've never quite heard that. We're also Catholic and our mass ceremony service will be an hour: Ceremony from 1-2pm, Cocktail hour 3-4pm (to give guests enough time to mingle a bit after the ceremony then get to the next venue). Reception at 4pm. Both my venues are downtown and about 2 blocks from each other and it will give people enough time for us to greet them after the ceremony and get to the other venue but not too much downtime in between.