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Meet_The_Clarks
VIP June 2018

What to say when reaching out to non-rsvp'ers?

Meet_The_Clarks, on May 10, 2018 at 8:17 AM Posted in Planning 0 17

I am still waiting to hear from 55 people as of yesterday and my deadline for RSVPs is tomorrow, 5/11. I was planning on giving folks until Monday, 5/14. If I receive nothing by then, I was thinking of reaching out and saying this:


"Hi so and so, hope all is well. We haven't received your RSVP and our venue will need a guest headcount. Please let us know by 5/18/18 if you (and guest, SO, etc) can make it. We hope that you can, however, if we don't hear from you by this time, we will assume you will not be attending".


Is this too much? too little? too rude? thanks in advance!

17 Comments

Latest activity by MrsD, on May 10, 2018 at 1:49 PM
  • WED18
    July 1993
    WED18 ·
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    Sounds perfect Smiley smile

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  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
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    That’s perfect!
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  • M
    Savvy August 2018
    M & A ·
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    Looks good to me!
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  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
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    This is good. Just remember to try to call and then send a back up text/email. Technology is funny and sometimes people miss things.
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  • DC Wife 10.27.18
    Master October 2018
    DC Wife 10.27.18 ·
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    That's perfect. Are you sure you want to give them until 5/18? I would probably shorten that time to 24-48 hours which is (hopefully) not enough time for them to procrastinate further or forget to do it.

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  • Jen
    VIP July 2018
    Jen ·
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    That is exactly what i am planning on saying! Good Luck!


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  • xRApril
    Expert May 2018
    xRApril ·
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    I think it sounds good!
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  • Mrs. H
    Master September 2019
    Mrs. H ·
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    I think you're a lot nicer than some people would be, lol (myself included). It sounds perfect, and it gets the message across.

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  • Mary
    Dedicated June 2018
    Mary ·
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    My RSVP date is also Friday and I’m also waiting on quite a few people. I was going to call or text them to see if they’re coming—I wouldn’t give them any more time. I also plan on telling them to send the cards so I have a record of what they want to eat.
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  • T
    Super December 2018
    T P ·
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    Your message is direct, but polite. It does not look inappropriate to me. Best of luck!
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  • J
    Dedicated August 2018
    J.Taylor ·
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    I’m just gonna go ahead and steal this message because it’s way more polite and appropriate than I feel I will be when I don’t get rsvps back 😅
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  • BlueHenBride
    Master March 2017
    BlueHenBride ·
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    I would wait another day or two past Monday before you start reaching out to guests who haven't RSVP'd. My RSVP date was on a Friday, and I reached out on the following Monday, but had a couple guests tell me they had put their RSVP cards in the mail at the end of the previous week and, sure enough, their cards arrived later that day or the next. If you give it an extra business day or two beyond the two business days you're already planning to wait, your list of guests to contact will be shorter.

    My other suggestion is to leave out the new response date on this first pass. When you're talking to them, just say your final numbers are due soon and you wanted to know if they are going to be able to make it or not. Try to get their response right then and there. If you give them a date that's a week away from the get go, you won't be giving the impression that it's urgent and you need their response right now, in this conversation. Plus, these are guests who have already proven that when given an extended period of time to respond to you, they don't. Make it sound like you expect the next words out of their mouths should be "yes" or "no." Of course, be perfectly polite about it. Dropping the part about then still having a few days or a week to get back to you will accomplish the urgency you want while still being polite.

    Only if they respond by saying they're still not sure, yet (or if you leave then a message and don't hear back within a day or two) should you say, "Okay, I absolutely need to know by ____ date so I can turn in our final numbers. Unfortunately, if I do not hear from you that you are definitely coming by then, I will have to mark you as "not attending" and we will miss you." And the date you tell them should still be a couple days before your final numbers are due so you have time to get all your info ready for your venue.
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  • Meet_The_Clarks
    VIP June 2018
    Meet_The_Clarks ·
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    I'll wait until Wednesday of next week to start calling, texting, etc. I'm trying to be polite while direct. Definitely the vibe I was aiming for. If they can give me an answer right then and there, I have no problem leaving the "new" RSVP date out. If they still say they don't know, then I have no choice. My numbers aren't due to the venue until 6/1. I knew I'd have some folks lingering, so I gave myself extra time. Plus I have to work on my seating chart and that is proving to take FOREVER for me. I can always count on WW to give me honest responses and I truly want to thank everyone for that.

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  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
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    I would be a bit more assertive. They already know that your caterer needs numbers and they didn't respond.

    If you contact them by phone I would say " I'm calling because we haven't received your rsvp and our deadline date has passed. If you are unable to commit (like right now while you are on the phone) we will have to consider that you are unable to make it and will miss you at the wedding." This is not something that still needs to be discussed with their SO. They already know if they are coming or not. They just haven't told you.

    If you must text, email or leave a message " I'm calling because we haven't received your rsvp and our deadline date has passed. If we don't hear from you in 24 hours, we will have to consider that you are unable to make it and will miss you at the wedding."



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  • Meet_The_Clarks
    VIP June 2018
    Meet_The_Clarks ·
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    Oh I like this. ahhhh- I will definitely come back with an update on my *hopeful* success! Thank you muriel!

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  • PrincessLawrence
    VIP June 2018
    PrincessLawrence ·
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    I think that sounds perfect!

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I don't think that's rude at all! I think it's rude not to RSVP!!! I think your message is totally fine.

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