What to give my Pastor

I am glad this came up. My pastor is a friend I worked with. He is new to his position and said whatever we find fair.

Officiant fees vary depending on where you live but in these times starting at $375 is pretty standard. if you are having a clergy member who is full time pastor versus an independent officiant makes a difference. In the first instance the church pays their salary. In the second, you are paying for time and service. We all have to pay our bills.

If you are a member of a church and want to tip your church pastor for officiating your ceremony, $100. would be appropriate. If you are having a retired or independent officiant leading your ceremony, fees customarily start at $375.

Variables in officiant fees:

Where you live

Type of officiant/clergy

Travel time and expenses

Rehearsal?

How many guests at your wedding - smaller ceremonies less complicated

Customizing and personalizing your ceremony....

Will the officiant be writing a script for your wedding or performing a standard ceremony out of minister's manual?

I am an ordained minister in a large denomination. I usually receive $100-$250 in an honorarium for a wedding, including counseling, rehearsal, and the ceremony. If I have to travel, I ask for mileage. When I have to fly in and stay overnight, the couple pays for those costs. I assume that when weddings cost $20,000 and up, my honorarium will be included in your budget. I am still paying my student loan.

I know that many of you want to be generous to me -- but I don't need a boutonniere, my spouse (if my spouse wants to attend) does not need flowers, and our daughters probably won't even be there.

Ask me if I want to come to your reception and ask me if my spouse and family will want to be there. Please do not assume that my whole family will come - it is very likely they will not. You can save money by not automatically including them in your dinner count.