What to do? What do i do?

View Quoted Comment Ladies do what is right for the BOTH of you. Though you’re being asked questions your friends and family will understand . They love and care for you and WANT what you want. Express to them how this situation is making you feel and you both simply desire to move on with your lives even if that means eloping . Remember what is important is YOUR MARRIAGE! We are considering getting married on our original date of 10/24/2020 and do the repeat May 2021. I marry the man I wish to spend my life with on the sate we choose and allow our friends and family to celebrate with us at another date. Also refunds aren’t forth coming either if we cancel . I’ll keep my hopes high for you both

View Quoted Comment You said it correctly Laura. Letting go of what was to have been was the hardest . But I felt better and stress free once I did!

View Quoted Comment Wow ! That’s so shady $750.00. People are being furloughed. We just postponed ours last week and we normally pay a non refundable $1000 monthly . I hope they don’t request a payment. Wishing all the best during these challenging times

View Quoted Comment I was thinking the same! Come Hell or high water! I’m wearing this expensive gown! Praying for us all!

View Quoted Comment Oh Jaime I’m so sorry! This is very challenging. I’m not sure how long you had been planning but we’ve been for two years and a great deal. My Bachelorette party was scheduled for July 2-6 during Essence Festival. Everything was purchased for it and now it’s canceled. So many plans so I do understand how you’re feeling I cried myself but couldn’t allow my fiancé to see me cry. I don’t want to hear we’ve got our health and we want our family and friends to feel safe and comfortable when they celebrate with us. Ans it’s true but I had self pity . So look at the beautiful bright side- you have an AMAZING FIANCÉ that loves and adores you NO MATTER WHAT, No matter the situation! Love each other and cherish the time you have. The MARRIAGE is what truly counts . You Him and God! The party will go on. Keep your chin up and ENJOY your fiancé and get through this Pandemic!

Jamie, I am so sorry. Sometimes in continuing to set new goal posts each time one falls down, you do 10 times the work and worry ... For absolutely no good reason. Right now, there are a lot of things presenting conflicts, already scheduled weddings of other people, similar seemingly fixed things. Because no one has a crystal ball that works. People with fall dates are just waiting, til May 26 or June 26 comes around. Then, when they know who has gone back to work and who hasn't, when day care or school is scheduled again, a lot of those fall dates taken already, will be suddenly free. Many will decide, we need our wedding money as a cushion, let's delay til Nov or next spring. Numerous venues will have seriously cut back on the number of people who can fill a venue, and many who can do it will choose partly open air venues. If you work out with your venue to apply what you already have invested toward a date yet to be determined, and ask them to let you know as cancellations come up, by late June a lot of the ice jam will break up. Like a river in the north in spring, when blocks and sheets of ice won't let water pass, build up water like a lake behind the jam. You need to wait. When things free up, at least 5 or 6 weekend dates of your venue will open up. And some of your conflicts will have been downsized, already held smaller but done. And other new dates set to give people steady work time to save, will always be months later. Your venue will have open dates. The ice dams will melt and disappear. Don't waste your energy now. Don't frustrate yourself now.
Within 2 months it will be easy to set a clearer path. And instead of everything being head pounding, things will be clear, the satisfaction of planning and seeing things fall into place. Waiting and doing nothing seems so hard. But if you get the definitely written guarantee that you will not lose lots of money, just have not selected the new date, you will feel better. If they absolutely won't, then still don't jump into another place. So many of your conflicts, and the venue's busy dates, will be swept off the calendar. People planned anything g less than a society or royal wedding with far yes advance planning, by 4-8 months on average less than now, up to 15- 20 years or less ago. But with all this planning 2 years and 3 years out, average being 15 month start not 8, venues began to have an amazing number if dates booked at 12-18 months, free in the last 4-5. Before this Covid nightmare. We were engaged for 5 months, planned a whole wedding in 4 months. And all these people screamed, that they had looked at our venue at 12 months, or 9, or 7, and been shut out. But 4 months in advance, having been booked for every Thurs pm to SUn or Monday, they had 5 weekends in 3 months to choose from, and one a 3 day weekend that we took. Now, so many people are preemptively cancelling, plus normal broken engagements and eloping, that things will be so easy if you can make yourselves sit back and wait. Really. One in every 2 fall engagement you have will change, or downsize. And some opened up date, or one open now, will line up with your venue. Some small vendors, and some large capacity ones, will go out of business. If you wait til late June to reschedule, some of those will be apparent, and after getting your new date, you will have a combination of old and same vendors. But you won't be booking, and pounding on closed doors, and rebooking, like a stress nightmare. I had to reschedule my first wedding twice. Big medical issues once ( groom decided to try aerial moves ski jumping. Enough said.) 2nd time, FMIL . Worse. So I know about tamping down the panic, and waiting. And seeing how things shift then open up, and venues and vendors are much more cooperative when they have unbooked dates coming up and need you, instead of months of filled advance bookings and a snotty attitude. An amazing difference , right there. Relax. Wait, and spend that time writing real love letters ( even if emailed to the next room) and spending nesting time together if you can. 💓
And talk of anything future, but dates, for 2 months.

Girl, I feel you! My original wedding date was June 20, and my venue let me pick an alternative date of August 7. I knew June wasn't going to happen, and the August date just didn't sit right with me because I felt forced into picking any available date. I haven't even had my bridal shower or bachelorette. I've been playing different scenarios since mid March (I'm in Los Angeles), and I have finally had time to process everything logically rather than emotionally (LOTS OF CRYING). After talking it out with family, some BMs, and even brides here on wedding wire, I have decided to reschedule for 2021 which is something I originally did NOT want to do. I am hoping for the same date June 20, 2021 (which is a Sunday and cheaper, hey girl!), just waiting for my venue to confirm. BUT, I feel REALLY good about this decision. It will allow my fiancé and I to buy a house this year, and keeping saving money for our wedding which I think will be bigger and better than ever! I hope you find a silver lining throughout all this! I know it sucks so bad, but once you commit to a decision, it's such a weight lifted off. I even feel happier and in a much better mood!

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I know how you feel have you considered just postponing till next July? My wedding was supposed to be July 17th of this year but seeing this not getting better for a while we're talking about May of next year now. Speak with your family and friends about it. Throw some dates around and see what you like. Also, make sure your vendors are available on that date. I'm currently talking to my vendors about next year and it's helping my mentality a bit. I know it sucks not knowing what's gonna happen these next few months but it's better to prepare and just talk about a plan b. Plus, I'm sure your vendors are more than happy to help you in this tough situation. Just reach out!

We'll be okay chica

View Quoted Comment I have been feeling the same way and trying so hard to stay positive, but it feels impossible. Same story. July 11 wedding that we decided to postpone. 2 years of being engaged. At first I just wanted to give up and not have a wedding at all, but my fiancé brought me back to the ground and we chose to postpone to 7/10/21. It feels like forever away and it’s so hard to be excited, but I think that in the next few months I’ll feel better about it and then be happy that we did get a new date (during the summer since we also were set on that) while we could. I hope this might help you at least a little bit, and that you don’t give up on your dream just yet... it’s got to get better.

Our date isn’t until 04/09/21, and we’re anxious. It’s so hard to tell what will come in the future, the possibility of having to postpone....but more than that, we can’t get past the overwhelming “guilt” of being excited for our wedding while some many others have had theirs postponed. Best of luck! We’re all in this together ❤️

Perhaps you could plan on eloping on your original date and you'd feel a lot better knowing you are married, and will be less stressed finding a new date? That way if the new date has to be far out it won't be as upsetting as you'll be married Best of luck!!

My heart goes out to you and your fiancé. We had to reschedule our wedding as well. When we made that decision I felt like you and been feeling so sad lately. Thinking good thoughts for you ❤️

I’d love feedback from family and friends but they aren’t really helpful. You guys on here have made me feel more at ease then anyone in our circles

I feel I have lot my excitement too.

I am sorry girl!

I think you should do what is right for you and your fiance.

We have been planning a long time too over 2 years. I am bummed but also thankful if things do work out to be thankful.

Honestly the day is about you and your wedding so the other details will not matter in the moment. We will still have great memories!

I hope you decide to keep your date and make the most of it or find just the right date for you and your time.

I feel bummed when i think I have been planning on having a family celebration and also we wanted to go on a honeymoon and might not be able too, but in the end I know we will plan something together despite this and we will have fun and it will be special no matter what.

Sending so much love your way.

View Quoted Comment That's our date too! New date is July 17, 2021. Our venue had no Saturdays open in June 2021. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Jamie continue to stay positive! We will overcome this . Yes this is very unsettling but it will get better

Because I’m trying to roll with the punches and be positive as I can and save what happiness I do feel toward my wedding. Circumstances out of our control have really toyed with us again, hes flying home for a June 27th wedding and flying back out the next morning cause his job finally got back up and going after nearly two month of not working. He was told that he can’t have his original time off because of all of this pandemic stuff going on. Just gonna roll with it and pray it all works out❤️

I hear ya! I am trying to re-plan my wedding, too. We had our original date for this summer in July, but we had no choice to reschedule until next July. My fiance and I are both teachers, so it is hard to postpone because we don't know what is going to happen to our jobs/our lives. Now I have a dress that needs to be altered, but we were planning on having our first child by next summer. So, I am lost, too. It is a crappy situation all the way around! Sending hugs to you!!

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Same here (wanting it to be over with.) I never grew up dreaming of a wedding, but I've always really enjoyed the parties and all the people you know/ love coming together. ...whelp.

If you don't mind me asking - what state are yall having the wedding in and what did you end up deciding?