What to do in this situation?

Yes, she should absolutely be invited.

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Thank you!!

Ok to make sure I didn’t get it confused, she’s 5 right? If so?? Will dad allow her to be invited without him?!! Since you don’t plan on inviting him?

I would say if you are inviting kids and inviting the younger daughter you should invite the older one too.

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Hey Wendy,

Actually the younger daughter is 5, I think the older daughter is around 9 or 10. That's what I am thinking too, like will he allow his daughter to go if he's not invited? It's an odd situation. I am definitely including kids in my wedding but this situation is one of the stickier ones. I asked FH maybe we should just invite ex husband of his cousin. He said absolutely not.

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Hey Cyndy,

Yeah I definitely see your point

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The younger daughter is 5 and is invited. She's asking about the older daughter. The older daughter would also be with her mother.

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Yes, the older daughter would be with her mom, and that's where it's like... yeah. LOL. I honestly don't mind inviting the older daughter, since it is Fh's cousin no matter what, but it's the ex husband thing that is the issue. FH thinks that it would be far too awkward since he doesn't talk to the older daughter nor does he talk to her dad whatsoever, the older daughter doesn't even remember my FH but at the same time, how would that look or be perceived if the younger daughter is the only child of the two invited. I don't want to slight anyone, but don't want to step on ex-husband's toes.

View Quoted Comment Oh ok I misread it. I think I would tell mom that older daughter is invited and see if she can talk to dad and if he’ll let her “borrow” her for the wedding...

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If he doesn't let her, he doesn't let her. At least you tried. If you don't mind me asking, does the mom typically get visitation with the daughter anyway? If so, I don't see it being a problem.

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Yeahh, that definitely makes sense. Thank you, Wendy!!!

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Yeah, she does see her daughter as far as I'm aware, how often though, I'm not sure. It's an odd situation between fh's cousin and her ex husband. Very odd circumstances. The ex husband as far as I know is a great guy, and FH has nothing against him but in his mind he just doesn't want him there, he feels he has no relationship with him and it would be out of place for him to attend.

I think it makes sense to invite the older daughter too

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Thank you, Melle!!

Maybe send an invite to the cousin (mother of the two girls) and address it to her, her fb, and both daughters. She can communicate with the older girls father when the wedding is and come with both daughters and the new bf.

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Hey Sara, that is a good idea. Thank you so much

I say invite her and let them sort the custody out between themselves

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Thanks a bunch, Kelly!!

I would invite her, but tell the mom I understand if she cannot make it

Absolutely. But this would be something the cousin needs to handle. You invite the cousin and family and she will be responsible for working it out with the ex to have the daughter there.

I'm a mother to a 5 year old from a previous relationship and while his dad and I are not on great terms we do have contact with things like this outside of our normal time sharing. I do have primary custody though so that makes a difference BUT if they are on decent enough terms and she has visitation she can work with him on having her there without him being there. If I was him I wouldnt want am invite because I wouldnt want to be around a bunch of people that I have no connections with.