My BP is great. Granted, 4 out of 5 of them know each other/are friends, so with a little negotiation, they get along just fine. (The 5th is out of state, and no one really expects them to be able to help much.)
HOWEVER, FH's side is, apparently, a complete and utter disaster. I'm hearing this from my MOH, my bridesman, and a GM, all of whom I trust to NOT cause drama (and all 3 of whom apologized for even telling me). Apparently, there's no leadership, more than half of them don't respond to any communications, there's snideness... I found out this is affecting the bachelor party in a really bad way. As in, FH's preferences and even hopes being ignored/shot down as not what some of the BP thinks he should do. (This includes a direct suggestion from me that included the words: "he wants this so badly he would cry tears of joy" and a link to discount codes for said suggestion.)
Then there's FSIL. I'm not touching that topic with a 10 foot pole at the moment. It's ... yeah. We'll just ... *deep breath* let's just say I'm an only child and it's been made very clear I'm not gaining a sister, here. But she's in FH's BP, and so I'm getting feedback on HER behavior as well.
I just want FH to have a really fun bachelor party that is something he really wants to do (and probably wouldn't get to do unless his BP did it). There has been some confusion, because I have said, in the past, that since FH and I wanted similar things, any overlap would be totally cool. Some people took this as "IT MUST OVERLAP" and don't listen when I say, "...suggested. As in, we fell in love because of some of these activities. It is entirely possible we'd end up doing the same things at the same time. It is also entirely possible we would NOT."
I don't want to interfere, but I had to say something when the 3rd person came to me. FH doesn't know what to do, and I honestly don't know what to do, either. The BM was in a bad car accident a few months ago, and didn't tell anyone (including us for the longest time), so maybe he's just not as up for this as he thinks? Or maybe it's just the age/maturity gap? (I'm in my 30s, everyone in my BP is over 30, most of FH's BP is in their 20s...)
Never expected to be posting about BP drama. Thanks for listening.
