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Ms. Mary Kate
Dedicated September 2018

What to charge for on-site lodging?

Ms. Mary Kate, on May 2, 2018 at 9:01 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 51

Hi guys! I have a big question and could use some advice. We've rented out an entire lakeside campground resort for our wedding. It's an amazing place! And venue was our biggest expense for this reason. There is space for 50 guests to lodge on-site, and all of this is rolled into the venue cost....

Hi guys! I have a big question and could use some advice.

We've rented out an entire lakeside campground resort for our wedding. It's an amazing place! And venue was our biggest expense for this reason.

There is space for 50 guests to lodge on-site, and all of this is rolled into the venue cost. There's different levels of accommodations; there's a dorm-style bunkhouse, private cabins of different sizes, teepees and other whimsical custom-build structures (which are cool as heck but are pretty rustic ie no bathrooms or ac), and a luxury 3-br house all on-site and available. We are providing special cabins for the wedding party, and giving the luxury house accommodations to our parents.

My question is, how should we charge our other guests for accommodations? We let them know that we are offering limited amount of lodging on a first come, first serve basis, and are offering it at a discount rate from what the resort would normally charge. My guests are starting to show interest in lodging with us and I need to make these decisions. How should I break it down?

By room? By head? Should I charge more for the fancier rooms (I'm guessing yes)? Should I just come up with a number I want to reach (specifically, there's something I forgot to budget for--the porta-potty trailers!), and divy it up? Or should I do a percentage of what they normally charge for a la carte lodging?

The venue is quite expensive, but they don't break down the expenses to show lodging as a line item or anything, so I'm not sure where to begin. I want to be fair and reasonable, and am not trying to bleed my guests for as much as possible or anything like that. However I think is reasonable to ask for some contribution in exchange for lodging, especially since it is so limited (we could certainly use it). Any advice on how to start thinking about this would be appreciated!

51 Comments

  • Ms. Mary Kate
    Dedicated September 2018
    Ms. Mary Kate ·
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    Also, many know how I secured this venue... I've made absolutely no attempt to hide it.

    I'm often shocked at some of the responses I get on here, lol.

    Check out the venue wandawega.com maybe that will clarify my situation
  • Ms. Mary Kate
    Dedicated September 2018
    Ms. Mary Kate ·
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    Yes, though the available beds far outnumber the limit of how many people I can lodge according to fire Marshall code. So people can choose their quarters. You'd be surprised how some people prefer the teepee (it had its own private pier and fire pit and is beautifully handmade) or treehouse to the bunkhouse.

    Some of the commenters are confirming my worst fears which is that guests will expect me to provide agilely everything all weekend. so I think I will simply withdraw my offer to Lodge a few guests.

    I was going to ask $50/per person who wants to Lodge, in order to cover the portapotties and sanitation service.
  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
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    This really rubs me the wrong way. I don't think the couple should be involved with their guests' lodging beyond booking a room block, and letting each guest book their rooms individually. It's too messy and awkward, IMO. And as PP said, if you didn't pay for the rooms in actual money, it's super sketchy for you to decide how much they should pay, and then put that money in your own pocket.

  • augbride
    Super August 2018
    augbride ·
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    I don't have anything to add just wanted to say your venue is beautiful!! I went on the website because I was genuinely curious and realized its like 30 minutes from my house! What a beautiful, special place to hold your wedding! Best of luck figuring everything out!!

  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
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    Good lord, no one is being rude.

  • Tara
    Master September 2018
    Tara ·
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    Time is money, we all work for what we have doesnt matter how we obtain it nothing is free, why do people forget this
  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
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    But that's between OP and her venue, that has nothing, and should have nothing to do with her guests. She did work in exchange for use of her venue, if I'm understanding this all correctly. So the exchange is done. If OP then charges her guests and pockets the money, she's now profiting off of them, i.e. subsidizing her costs, and I don't think that's right.

  • Tammy
    Super October 2018
    Tammy ·
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    OP would have either:

    A. Worked a landscaping job got the money and paid for the venue or

    B. Use a barter system where as far as I can tell reading back she still paid her employees so she paid for the place.

    Also how does any of this help with the original question? If I was going to a wedding and could pay a hotel OR pay the couple stay on-site and not worry about Uber and possibly surge pricing SOLD! People are asking to stay on site she's not lying the site wasn't given to her she preformed a service to the venue.

  • Ms. Mary Kate
    Dedicated September 2018
    Ms. Mary Kate ·
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    The exchange is not actually done... It's going to take me a few more months... and I will have to pay the balance.

  • Ms. Mary Kate
    Dedicated September 2018
    Ms. Mary Kate ·
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    Girl, thank you. Sometimes I think that people not understanding this is simple internalized misogyny. Yes, I'm a bride to be and excited about my wedding! but I'm also a business woman, and a professional. Smiley heart

  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
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    Lmao. you either find it amusing, or judgmental. which is it?

    and really, with the misogyny comment? but I'm self-righteous. ok. Smiley laugh Smiley xd

  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
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    That's spelling, not grammar. Smiley kiss

  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    Misogyny? Really? Give me a break. Us pointing out that you are passing the cost of your venue (even if it's for porta potties and sanitation) onto your guests does not make us misogynistic.

  • Ms. Mary Kate
    Dedicated September 2018
    Ms. Mary Kate ·
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    Thank you, lol. I was really starting to feel freaked out.

    OK, so now back to the task at hand.

    I am going to do a lottery system of who wants to stay, and those who do pay $50-80 for a bunkhouse room of their choosing, $80-100 for a cabin. Children are free because they are precious and are going to make it more fun for everyone. People sharing rooms can split them 50/50

    Also I'm not going to respond to anyone else who tries to discredit the value of my contract (the venue appreciates me, enough said) or tell me I should cover lodging for those few who get a spot. I'm already covering multiple meals throughout the whole weekend, and providing for wedding party and immediate family. I've been overly generous according to my family and wedding planner... If people don't want to contribute they absolutely do not have to. There's a inn down the street...

  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    You should really read the CGs. Name calling is not allowed on the forums.

  • Ms. Mary Kate
    Dedicated September 2018
    Ms. Mary Kate ·
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    That's not what you were doing---you were saying work for trade doesn't count as legitimate payment. That in effect devalues my work. You also implied that I am being selfish, and taking advantage of my guests, and somehow trying to pull profit from my wedding, which is so untrue that it is actually very funny, but you wouldn't know that.

    Please, don't be offended that I am offended--it's a trap and a waste of your mental energy. I'll give you a break by not responding again--I'm politely disengaging. No hard feelings, you just aren't being very helpful. I'm sure you're a kind person, but forums get goofy!

  • Ms. Mary Kate
    Dedicated September 2018
    Ms. Mary Kate ·
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    I'm guessing they made this rule because things get so heated!

    Much love to all of you. We all love love, and we all care Smiley heart weddings are intense, and we all have our different POV!

    Thanks for feedback ladies. If you disagree with what I am doing, I totally respect that. But I'm still looking for particular feedback about my original question.

  • M
    Dedicated November 2014
    Mandy ·
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    It sounds as if you're willing and able to pay for the entire venue even if you don't collect any additional lodging fees from your guests. Great! It also sounds like you have all the liability issues covered. Again, Great!

    Personally, I suggest you don't charge an arbitrary fee for the rooms (which you've paid for already regardless of whether they stay or not) but instead charge a fee for additional cleaning and sanitation services that will be required because they're staying there. It can be the same amount of money you were thinking, this just sounds more palatable to me. The bigger/fancier rooms you can charge more for their "upkeep" same as you were going to charge more for their rental.


    I wouldn't personally do a lottery system overall. I'd start with your bridal party and immediate family, and go down the line from there and offer rooms to a different group of people (extended family? larger friend group?).

  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
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    Maybe take your own advice?

  • Ms. Mary Kate
    Dedicated September 2018
    Ms. Mary Kate ·
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    I find it to be both judgmental and amusing. Maybe I have an advanced or dark sense of humor. Also, before you dismiss my comment of internalized misogyny, *really* think about it. Me saying that was perhaps a bit of an overreaction but...

    Saying that my work doesn't count as legitimate currency is not something most people would think to say to a man. It devalues my work. There's a reason that this contract was signed--my work has value. I am a professional.

    In my mind, my work for trade agreement was irrelevant to this issue, which is why I did not bring it up. If you think otherwise, it's because you think my work is less valuable than my money--as business owner, this is thinking I do not agree with or subscribe to. So your advice on this particular is not helpful to me.

    Let's be respectful of each other. I don't like having to defend myself.

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