What now?

There's nothing you need to do. There's no need to replace her, even. You don't need to have a MOH. It's a ceremonial role, not required at all. Your MOH is simply the person to whom you're closest and whom you want to stand by your side as you get married. The fact that she can't physically do that is a bummer and it's understandable that you're disappointed and upset, but you know she'll be there in spirit.

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I second all of this. "Promoting" someone (it's not a job) or replacing your nearest and dearest isn't actually a thing. It's ok to be sad, but try to move on without pestering her or making her feel guilty for honoring her own financial and life situation.

Ok. Let's get one thing straight. I haven't made her feel guilty. I haven't even talked to her. She left me a text message and won't answer my calls or texts. How in the world can I make someone feel guilty if I haven't said a single word to her?

She's my best friend so of course I still love her. I'm hurt because she backed out because I can't imagine getting married without her by my side.


I totally understand why she can't do it. She and her FH have a small child, they are trying to buy a house, etc.

I was completely flabbergasted and didn't know which way to turn yesterday. You're told to pick people to stand by your side while you marry the best person on earth yet there's nothing out there to tell you what to do next after your best friend backs out on you.

Sorry if this seems like a rant. I just wanted to make clear that just because she backed out doesn't mean that I hate her or anything like that.

WOW!! I'm so sorry!! If it's not one thing it's another. You could always make one of your bridesmaids a maid of honor. Or you can just go without. No one says you have to have a maid of honor.

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Exactly! She's losing out anyway. Hopefully it was for a valid reason and not just she wanted to.

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Kristie...breathe. You deserve to rant. She probably feels guilty on her own not because you're making her feel that way. I'm sure she wanted to be the best MOH and do all she could to assure you have the best of everything. But with all that is going on in her life, she couldn't give it her full attention whether physically, emotionally, and/or financially. She's not answering the calls because she probably doesn't want to hear the disappointment in your voice. Text and and assure her that you understand and she'll probably call you back.