What Lessons Have You Learned From Previous Relationships/ Marriages?

If a man treats his mother poorly, he’ll more than likely treat his significant other poorly...

Actions speak louder than words! If they don't do something the first time, don't believe them saying they will the second. Unless there's a reasonable explanation but that's different.
Also how someone treats waitstaff says a lot about how they view other people.

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I completely agree!

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Those are two very valuable lessons.

I always made it my deal breaker if someone had kids or a kid.... that child will always comes first and their baby mama will always be present... too much drama... I attempted it for one second and boom my point was proven...

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I can completely understand this.

View Quoted Comment I agree to an extent... but I do have a question for you. I was accused of treating wait staff poorly on a particular day. I went out for breakfast with my mom and FH. One of the servers (not mine) dropped a plate and milk splattered all over three different tables including ours. The milk was in our half eaten food and all over our clothes. Our server came over and my mom told her that the server who dropped the milk should come around and check on the tables who were splashed on. Our server said “it was an accident, she didn’t mean any harm, it’s not a big deal.” My mouth dropped 😮
our server didn’t even offer to clean up the mess on our table! I’ve been a server b4 and I would NEVER treat a customer like that. I would rush over to the table I’m serving and clean up the mess even if it wasn’t my fault and I would be even more than happy to apologize since I’m not the one who messed up.
I was super disappointed and tipped her a very small percentage
Does this qualify as treating waitstaff poorly?
if someone gives bad service, I refuse to tip 20%

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. Another thing I can’t stand is how parents get so defensive when you ask their child to not or stop doing something. My FH’s brother got mad at me because I asked his daughter to use her inside voice. She was screaming so loud that I couldn’t even hear my FMIL talking to me when she was trying to tell me something. Mind you, I have bought this child several pieces of clothing, have taken her to the wildlife park, botanical gardens, out to eat several times and he’s never thanked me.
several men have told me how their wives tell them that they can’t tell their step-kids what to do because their not the real dad! Whatttt?! So a child that I have to financially provide for, and who lives under my roof is not supposed to respect my authority?! I don’t think so!

Make time for each other!!! I’ve been married before and I had a spouse who did not pay much attention to our children or myself. He wanted to hang out with his friends because we took up too much of his time and money. He was tired of working and paying bills for our home. Before you ask yes I worked two jobs sometimes three. I had more flexibility than he did. After the divorce he got to hang out with his friends and not worry about us any longer. His choosing not mine.
But this go round with my FH, he loves spending time with us and he says it’s a 50/50 job working together to pay the bills and make sure children have what they need. I also now only work two jobs instead of three. Plus we communicate a lot more than my last marriage.

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Wow! Thank you for sharing your experience.

View Quoted Comment I'm not really sure what your point is? I don't see how you were accused of anything when someone else spilled the milk.

View Quoted Comment I was accused of being rude to the server. My question was after reading my story, do you think I was?

View Quoted Comment Your story didn't really make a lot of sense but overall if someone spilled anything on you, you should get an apology. Unless you screamed at the waitstaff you probably were not rude.

Find someone who wants and needs you, not just someone who finds it convenient to have you around.

View Quoted Comment This is deep.

They should know what they want and are ready to be in the relationship. And are honest.

View Quoted Comment Yeah exactly!!! That’s ridiculous!!! So no thank you!!!

The lesson I learned was don't stay with someone because you think you've already put a lot of effort in it
In my last relationship it was 2.5 years and to me it felt long and I felt like j wanted to keep trying because I've already put so much in it but that's such a bad reason to stay ya know? I also learned don't stay just because you're lonely and want the companionship. That's what made it hard for me to leave - having someone was nice even if it wasn't the right person. I wasn't happy but I wasn't unhappy - so that's another lesson - be happy and don't settle just because you're "ok enough"

I have learned a bunch of lessons but the most important one would be the one my mom taught me about relationships and life in general. Live life with out expectations or else you will always end up getting hurt. Now don't mistake expectations with standards. My main standard is that my FH treats me with the utmost respect no matter where or when and vice versa but I do not expect him to throw me big birthday parties or expect him to know what gifts to buy me. I have found that the relationships are far more happy and care free without expectations.

I learned to listen to the red flags... and not to stay with someone that doesn’t treat me right.