What is the standard on bride paying for costs at a destination bachelorette?

The bride should expect to pay for herself in every aspect. Getting married doesn't mean you get an all expenses paid vacation.

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I agree with this. As brides, we are the ones putting our bridal party in the position to spend money. It isn't fair to demand to be paid for, especially if she's the one who requested a spendy party. If you offered, that would be different.

View Quoted Comment Agreed. If she’s insistent on a destination bachelorette than she pays her travel and lodging and expenses with maybe the exception of dinner and drinks or some planned activity. I honestly wouldn’t attend a destination bachelorette if the couple was also having a destination wedding.

If she dictates anything then she should expect to pay for her wishes. You should not incur all the expenses.

I think it's pretty bold for a bride to demand a destination bachelorette, then not want to pay for herself. I suggested Palm Springs for my bachelorette because it meant 4 out of the 6 bridesmaids could drive easily, one could drive (just a little farther), and one could take a quick 45 minute flight. I paid for my flight, rental car, gas, groceries, the entire dinner the first night for everyone, a round of drinks both nights, and favors for all the girls. My girls would have been totally fine covering a lot of those things for me but I felt weird already having the house paid for & a few other activities.

I don't understand some brides.

Yikes yea I would pay for more than flight if I’m the one dictating it be destination

I'd tell her the current plan isn't financially feasible for you, so unfortunately you won't be able to attend. No additional explanation, so apologies.... I truly don't understand the sense of entitlement of a bride who demands/expects people to pay for things for her. Also, if you're uncomfortable with the situation, it's quite likely others are as well and by you speaking up it might encourage others to do so. Daughter was invited to a destination bachelorette (for someone she saw as a fairly casual friend, which made it even worse to her) and was told what she was "expected to contribute" to cover what the bride wanted (an Airbnb; wine tasting trolley tour, meals at fancy restaurants, etc.) and her share of the bride's expenses. It probably didn't help that daughter received the text messages the week of her own wedding, but she just responded to the group text that she couldn't afford to spend that so she wouldn't be participating. A couple other girls on the group text immediately chimed in that it was too expensive for them as well. The organizer clapped back about how rude they were being because if they didn't go it increased the cost for those who really were "good friends" of the bride. Daughter blocked the conversation after that. She and SIL attended the wedding, but daughter never said another word about the bachelorette party to the bride or anyone else....

She's being ridiculous. We have typically paid for the bride within my friend group, BUT it's almost always been something close and it was affordable. It's nice to pay for her when you can, but not fair of her to demand it especially considering the location. Someone is gonna have the sit down with her unfortunately. If she wants Vegas, she needs to help.

If she's "requesting" (read: requiring) a destination bach (which, despite it's current popularity, really puts people out), then yes, she should be paying. She shouldn't be planning her own bachelorette party anyway (I'm giving my people dates and incredibly vague suggestions and then they'll figure out what works for everyone in the party) but insisting on something expensive means the insisting party should definitely pay.

I had a destination bachelorette and offered to pay my own lodging. My crew wouldn’t let me but it was offered.


Most of the bachelorettes I’ve been to recently we did cover the bride’s lodging but most of them were either local or easily drivable. I am also in a position where it was doable to contribute towards the bride’s lodging.

Yeah, this is expecting too much. Very have her cake and eat it too. My girls *did* pay for my Bach, but you better believe I offered and tried to cover some expenses here and there . But, the other factor was that they planned the whole thing, so they controlled the budget. I didn’t have any expectations and said I’d be happy just hanging out. So they planned an affordable get together that worked for all of them. Once you start dictating the plan as a bride, I think assuming some of those costs comes hand in hand (particularly travel and lodging).


As a bridesmaid , if expenses were too much or generally unreasonable, I think it’s is completely fair to decline to attend a bachelorette because it is too expensive (though can’t promise that won’t offend an already unreasonable bride ! )

I live in Houston and my bach party is in NOLA which is a 4.5 hour drive. There was talk about Nashville but everyone was going to have to fly if they wanted to come and I didn't feel right asking that of people. With this option, I volunteered to drive/pay for all the gas, and road snacks! Some said they'd rather fly. I 100% do not expect anyone to pay for my stuff and have repetitively said I am happy to cover my own expenses but it's looking like they won't allow it. To think that someone is TELLING you that you have to pay for their flights, room, etc. is absolutely ridiculous. I would decline the invitation.

If she's requesting where the bachlorette party is she should pay. You girls can chip in to buy her drinks and dinner if you want, but I wouldnt want to pay for her trip. I was in a wedding and the MOH and SIL decided on a driveable beach trip, we pitched in and paid for the brides portion of the hotel room, but it was our idea not the brides.

As the bride, I offered to chip in. My MOH said absolutely not. In my friend group, we have never allowed the bride to pay for anything.

Listen I understand both sides of the fence but..........

Vegas in July is peak season. if she was doing something or asking for something reasonable I would understand. But come on.... a DW and a DBP thats a bit much!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sorry I would decline to go. It's expensive for the DW alone. I'm having a DW in Jamaica I wouldn't dear ask my girls to take me away or plan anything else. It's not fair even if they are financially able it's still time consuming. Sorry your friend is a little over the top expecting you guys pay.

Every bachelorette I've been to the bride has paid for their own meals, hotel/AirBnB share, etc. Maybe the girls would buy her a drink, but it was more like girls would take turns buying a round of drinks for everyone, so of course the bride herself was included in.

For my bachelorette, I paid for all activities, food and drinks for myself—as well as footing the accommodations for everyone. I also bought many rounds of drinks for everyone. Those were 100% my choices and I was happy to do so, but I must admit I'm a little bitter one of the girls in my bridal party is getting married and is expecting the rest of us to pay for her accommodations, booze, food, activities, etc. for a very pricey bachelorette across the country. This is going to be a VERY expensive wedding!

We are doing a destination bachelorette for mine and I would never ask/let my girls pay for everything. Now I have been on several bachelorette trips where we have covered accommodations/chipped in on food and drinks for the bride, which I don't mind doing at all, but it wasn't completely expected by the bride. For me, I'm just thankful they are willing to sacrifice the time and money to celebrate with me, and I realize that it's asking a lot. So I will for sure be covering myself. Being a bridesmaid is expensive enough!