What does the Grooms family Typically pay for?

FH and I are covering the entire expense of our wedding. Neither of us have parents who could or would offer to pay for anything. I think it would make me very uncomfortable to ask anyone to chip in in any way shape or from. If someone goes out of their way to offer I suppose it would feel diffrent. I think I would still find it hard to accept. Consider yourself blessed by the contributions from your parents. I wouldn't push much with the FIL you may not be fully aware of their finanancial situation. Maybe they actually can't and are too embarrassed to say they can't afford it. Or they simply don't want to because they don't feel it's their responsibility. (maybe their parents didn't help with -their wedding and don't feel they should help with their sons) I would let FH handle that. Don't want to cause unnecessary animosity.

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I'm sorry you had to compromise, that was another big thing for me, I am very Type A and know exactly what I want so if someone tries to tell me something different it usually ends with an argument. FH's family and mine have a lot of similarities and get along wonderfully, I think they wanted to help out because of how my FH was upset about them not contributing. Again like I mentioned I tried to explain to him how things work but I felt like it was in one ear out of the other.

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That is a fantastic idea! I will probably do that!

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Hi Daisy! I know they had a few unexpected costs with the house, that's why I really haven't pushed or done anything. I definitely don't want to cause any animosity, so I figured if it, its truly bothering my FH he can talk to them about it.

View Quoted Comment Best way to go about it! And hey if they do end up helping out. You have a little extra money for things you might have decided to opt out of in the efforts to cut cost. Who can't use a little extra honeymoon money. ☺️

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Amen to that! I think I am more excited about our honeymoon then everything else.

What a weird for thing for them to mail out. I'd be turned off shopping with them but, that's not what you asked.

FH and I are paying for almost everything ourselves. Our families offered to help but, we politely turned down the offers because we wanted to throw the wedding we wanted and we knew accepting money meant giving up some control over the planning. My parents are paying for my alterations though because they were insistent we let them help with something. Last evening his parents asked if they could host our rehearsal dinner so, that will knock one thing off of our planning list (and save us some money).

Nowadays, nothing in traditional when it comes to money. I always think the couple should plan for the wedding they can afford and if someone offers to help/contribute than that is a nice bonus.

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Thank you! I found it truly enlightening to see just how much "traditions" changed or or no longer a tradition. I think my family would throw a fit if they didn't help out with something, and like you said it was a nice bonus even though it wasn't needed.

My FIL's are paying for the rehearsal dinner and the cake $550. My parents paid the deposit for the flowers $600 and my FH and I are paying for everything else ourselves.

My FMIL (FH's father passed away) is hosting and paying for the rehearsal dinner. She wanted to do this for us.

Our parents are very old fashioned and my dad would be pretty embarrassed if someone else paid for my wedding. He gave me my budget, and my FH’s parents are taking care of the open bar and rehearsal dinner.

The only thing I knew we had paid by someone else was my dress. While shopping for my sisters wedding dress over 2 years ago, my mom surprised her and paid for it and told me she was sorry that it wouldn't be a surprise for me when my turn came lol. Other than that my ffil and his wife paid for our photographer. They told us the day we booked, and we told them we appreciated it and how much it was. But my sisters fils offered to pay for something and never followed through, so we werent relying on it. We paid the deposit without waiting for them to give us money just in case and we reimbursed ourselves when they gave it to us. So now with the extra money we weren't planning on originally we are going to add videography. We probably would have added it anyways, but now it's much less stressful. Lol

The traditions about what the bride's and groom's family paid for arose when a) couples were getting married at age 18, and b) a wedding was a church ceremony followed by cake and punch in the church hall. These days, couples pay for their own weddings, except to the extent that parents volunteer to contribute.

Everything I've researched and heard from friends is that really all the groom's parents are responsible for is the Rehearsal Dinner and Bridal Bouquets, although most usually chip in for other wedding expenses.

I was definitely hoping my FIL's could help out with more (my parents have doubled their initial budget for our wedding, plus my FH and I have had to shell out almost $10,000 ourselves, which includes the honeymoon), so some extra financial help from them would have been really helpful and appreciated, but alas they rather spend money on concerts every weekend and dining out at nice restaurants than to help us out a little :-/ As it is, our rehearsal dinner is at their house with a deli platter (seriously) and no help with the bridal bouquets... so I'd say you lucked out with them putting some money towards your DJ and wanting to pay for bbq rehearsal dinner!

I agree with PP that there really isn’t much of a tradition now-a-days with who “should” pay for what. I’d say you’re very lucky to have either set of parents contribute.

My FH’s Mom passed away and his father was never in the picture. His Step Dad is like his real Dad but we would never expect him to offer and even if he did, would turn the offer down due to our knowledge of his financial situation. My parents haven’t offered to contribute so we are paying for everything ourselves. We actually landed on a super intimate destination wedding so some would say we are passing the costs off to our guests that way but we did vet this out with our parents and two best friends (that’s our whole guest list right there) and they were ok with it.

My parents are extending their vacation for our wedding by going to Hawaii the week before and have been very forthcoming about how they are dropping 10k + on the trip to Hawaii which honestly has rubbed my FH the wrong way at times. I just keep reminding him that in this day and age, no one is obligated to contribute and we should be proud that we can afford to host our own event considering our backstory.

I talked to my mom last week and she asked if I would like money for the honeymoon or towards the wedding (I said wedding), & FH mom has offered to pay for the cupcakes, dj & rehearsal dinner..but nothing as of yet lol we still have a yr until the wedding so we’re not counting on anything honestly until something has been paid on.