What do y’all think of...

If one or both parties have significant assets and/or kids or other obligations that need to be protected going into the marriage, I think they can be very wise. NO ONE (hopefully...) goes into marriage thinking they don't love & trust their spouse and that it won't last till "death do they part," but the reality is too many marriages don't last. A prenuptial agreement protects the interests of both parties if things don't work out.

We ended up doing a post-nuptial agreement. I don't think it shows mistrust. It's a plan for if things don't work out. People change. Circumstances change. No one getting a pre-nup or post-nup just go into the meeting thinking they don't trust their FS/spouse. If, one day, my husband and I find that we are better and healthier parting ways it will be nice having a game plan already outlined.

I was firmly in that camp before my first marriage. I'm lucky that divorce was amicable. My FH's was not so much. We are doing a prenup this time. It doesn't mean we won't share finances and assets once we're married, but it's making the lines clear now while we're in the same team and don't want to screw the other over in case something were to happen later.

I don't see it as a sign of mistrust at all. I've been through nasty breakups that didn't even involve a marriage, let alone my own divorce. Luckily my ex didn't want anything besides a divorce. If both parties have valuable stuff, or even just one person does, a prenup is smart to get. As others have said, no one gets married thinking about divorce and how nasty their new husband/wife can be if they end up divorcing

I personally don’t care to do it or not. But I’m also going into a marriage because I love the person and I don’t see myself or him divorcing. But I can see why people do it.

I think if one person comes into the marriage with a company or property or significant money it’s smart. Other than that they aren’t usually needed.

My FH was married once before, and she bled him dry in divorce court. I understand his apprehension about getting married without a prenup, and I know it has nothing to do with me. He was just going getting finished with the divorce process when I met him, and it wrecked him for a long time. We love and trust each other, but it's one of those burns me once kind of scenarios.

I don’t want one for my marriage but I think they’re necessary for certain couples. Obviously we want love to last forever but life doesn’t always happen that way, since we can’t predict the future we cover ourselves for a worse case scanario. It’s along the same lines as life insurance. Do I plan to die soon? No but if I were in a freak accident at least my loved ones could afford a funeral. These topics are hard but they’re important to have, no matter what decision you come to. Talk about it.

I see prenups as a way of protecting both parties' money. FH and I aren't getting one, but if we had more assets I wouldn't be offended if one was suggested

They’re often times not necessary but if I or my FW owned any businesses or had other major assets, I would absolutely not be against protecting them. Signing a prenup isn’t a sign of mistrust, it’s being smart and understanding that life isn’t always a fairytale. No one goes into a marriage expecting to get divorced, but the reality is that things happen. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

I politely disagree. I think a prenup is a protection. For both the spouses but also future children. They arent appropriate for everyone. My H and I didn't have one for example. But if either of us were in a situation where we needed to protect something, the other would never take offense. It's just smart..

Something like 40% of marriages end in divorce. And no one goes into marriage expecting that. I was 100% committed to my first marriage, but that didn't help when he walked out after 19 years.

A prenup isn't a way for one party to make out like a bandit. Instead, it's a way to avoid having all the assets taken by the lawyers if you end up divorcing. The issue is that in a divorce, assets earned during marriage are typically supposed to be divided evenly, but assets you had before you got married are supposed to be yours alone. But what happens if you owned a home or a business before marriage, but then put more money into it from assets earned during the marriage? Or worse yet, you then sell the home or business, and put the money into investments, or a new home or business? Or have a retirement plan that had a lot of money in it before marriage, but you put more money into it afterward, and it has earnings attributable to both the old money and the new? In all of these situations, in the absence of a prenup, it can be very hard to figure out who is entitled to what, even if the parties are trying to do the right thing. (And parties to a divorce often aren't trying to do the right thing.)

I strongly disagree. I think a lot depends on the couple. Majority of people do not need them.
If you own significant amounts of property, have a business, collect cars, monetary investments/stocks, yknow things that take significant investment of resources it's much better to have a prenup to protect them. I would actually consider it gold digging if the spouse who didn't have the resources didn't want to sign in these cases. If someone is previously divorced it would likely be advised to prenup or else it can get complicated with a second divorce. Children of divorced parents might feel more secure about having a prenup and I think that's a very valid feeling.
I think those are all kind of niche experiences and not the majority, but also that they exist and we don't need to judge it.

As others have said, it depends on the situation. Neither my husband or I have any significant assets, so there was no reason for us to even have this discussion. However, if either one or both of us had assets such as a business, property, etc., I could absolutely see the necessity of it. You don't get car insurance hoping you get into an accident. A pre-nup is basically just marriage insurance.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with prenups. They are in no way a sign of mistrust, they are a sign of wanting to protect your assets in the case something were to happen to your marriage. No one goes into a marriage hoping/expecting it to end in divorce. But unfortunately, we can’t see the future. So a prenuptial agreement is the only way to protect yourself. I have a friend and coworker who lost half of his retirement due to a divorce, and it was worth A LOT! As someone who lives in a 50/50 state, owns property/assets, and has a substantial retirement at a young age, me and my FW do have agreed to a prenup. And we feel very good about our decision to protect ourselves with it.

I'm all for prenup for people who have assets going into a marriage or even debt. Divorce can be terribly messy and expensive. No one marries to get divorced but not all marriages last a lifetime. Why should I be responsible for half of my spouses debt before marriage if we divorce. Conversely why should I be automatically be entitled to half of their previously held real estate?

I think theyre a huge sign of mistrust. I might get them if I was an old rich lady marrying a young man because id be worried that he was just marrying me for the money lol.

FH & I are against them and also think they’re a sign of mistrust.

I think that prenups are a wise idea, especially if children or a lot of assets are involved. I can definitely understand you feeling as though this would indicate mistrust or going into a marriage already planning for it to fail- but it is wise to work these things out while you both are in a place of love and mutual respect for one another. Often times, when people are going through a divorce, those things go out the window and vendictiveness comes out. Hopefully you will never need to actually use the prenup! But it is smart to have it in place, just in case. Think of it like car insurance – you hope you will never get into an accident, but you want to have that assurance in place in case it ever happens!

I will be having a prenup. It's a smart move when entering into a legally binding arrangement to have some guidelines. I'd never sign a phone contract for the rest of eternity without some guidelines and I certainly won't do that with equity, pensions, etc on the line. No one intends on getting a divorce, but the reality is that it happens and I'm not willing to risk my future on the tides of emotional instability and/or potential vengeance.

I've always said the only way I'd get married is with a prenup.