What do my Bridesmaids buy?

I feel like robes aren’t a necessary item at all. So asking them to purchase their own robe is a little odd. If something can’t be afforded, then just skip it.

I think it is rude to ask them to buy their own robes well not rude per se but if it is something that you really want then you should be the one to buy it. Can you compromise and ask them to wear the same color of something? Check wish as they have some cheap ones but the sizes may run small if they ship from China and take a few months.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your advice. My thought I guess was that their jewelry is about $50 and I have 6 girls. The robes are only $15 so I’d rather buy the more expensive part as their gift instead of asking them to pay so much more. I’ll talk to the girls about what they want to do and see if matching is something they even care about anymore. In the beginning that was the part they were most excited about.

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Hmmmm...I would also think would they use the robes after? I did splurge and got myself a robe for pics but I did not get my MOH one because I thought she would not use it afterwards. I mean it does not hurt to ask. Also, do you know their jewelry preferences? I am thinking you can get a simple bracelet for like $30 and use the remainder for the robes?

View Quoted Comment The robes we looked at have no names or titles embroidered so yes, they would be able to use them afterwards. The jewelry is non-negotiable and we have all already agreed upon it.

Yes, it's rude. If you want them to wear robes, you buy them. Their only financial obligation is a dress of your choosing.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your input. As you all can tell I’m a young bride and just needed advice on etiquette. I will discuss with my girls what they would like to do and if they care about this or not.

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Hmmmm...I would forego embroidered robes if it is not in your budget. I mean you can ask them if they would want to get themselves one for the wedding day but it should be their decision individually and none of them should feel pressured to get one. I can imagine you would want them all matching for the day of so would you be okay if some got one and others did not. I would present it as hey ladies it would be great if you could all be matching in these robes for the day of. If you are interested and would like one here is the site to buy for yourself but if you do not want one can you please wear this color on the day of.

View Quoted Comment That’s a excellent and kind way of saying it! Thank you for the help!

If They Are Okay With It, I See No Issues.

View Quoted Comment I’m very open with my girls so if they aren’t okay with something; I have no intention of forcing them to do things. I just know when we started planning they seemed excited about this part the most (besides the bachelorette party).

Robes aren't a necessity! I would ask them to see if it is in their budget if they are open to buy them cool, but if it puts a burden on anyone I would skip them

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I Understand! I Think If They Are All Still Excited About It, They Might Want To Help Purchase Them.

Yes and no, if you’re requiring the robes you should buy them. Etsy sells hundreds of robes most of which are like $5-$14

If the robes are being used as a prop for your photos, or if you're requiring them, then it's on you to buy them. There are plenty of options on Etsy though, you may be able to get them cheaper than you think!

Personally, I would find the money in the budget to purchase the robes for your girls. Like you said, they are very inexpensive. It should be easy enough to make up that money by avoiding unnecessary purchases (ie, don’t stop at Starbucks on your way to work, pack lunch for work instead of ordering something, don’t eat out, mark a few things off the grocery list you don’t absolutely need, etc. etc.).

Yes this is incredibly rude, you should not be asking them to buy their own robes. If you want them all to match, then ask them to wear a white tee shirt and black leggings or something, that they already own. It is rude to ask your bridesmaids to purchase something that is clearly a prop for getting ready photos.

Completely agree with Chrysta, you should find a way to buy them or forgo matching entirely. It’s the type of request where as a bridesmaid I would feel obligated to say yes I’ll buy my own robe, but feel salty about it later. Regardless of whether they technically can be worn again, chances are if someone likes short/thin/cheap robes they already own one (personally I think they are cute in pics, just being realistic on what $15 gets you!). Honestly your best bet is probably to reallocate the “flutes and little gifts” money to the robes and you will be nearly there on budget and get a lot more value from that money.

We have a solution ladies! I’ve read everyone’s comments and appreciate the input from you all. We’ve decided to go thrifting for some flannels on the bachelorette party and distressing them to fit each girl’s taste. This way it’s cheaper and a fun thing to do all together since our planning has been distanced due to the pandemic!🥰

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I see that you aren't going to ask them to buy matching robes for your photos, which is great. But for anyone else reading and wondering about this topic, buying $50 jewelry isn't a reason to ask bridesmaids to buy robes either, because the jewelry is also optional and more for the photos than for them. All of these potential costs need to be weighed against the budget and factored into deciding how many bridesmaids to have. These are all choices.