Future Mrs.tidwell 馃拲
Savvy March 2021

What do my Bridesmaids buy?

Future Mrs.tidwell 馃拲, on September 29, 2020 at 5:30 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 31
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I would love to go above and beyond for all my bridesmaids however, I can鈥檛 afford to buy everything I want them to have.
My plan is to gift them the jewelry they need and some drinking flutes, little gifts etc. however, the robes to get ready in set me over the budget. Is it rude to ask them to buy their own robes?

31 Comments

Latest activity by Lynne, on September 29, 2020 at 10:53 PM
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle Online
    • Flag
    I feel like robes aren鈥檛 a necessary item at all. So asking them to purchase their own robe is a little odd. If something can鈥檛 be afforded, then just skip it.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen
    • Flag

    I think it is rude to ask them to buy their own robes well not rude per se but if it is something that you really want then you should be the one to buy it. Can you compromise and ask them to wear the same color of something? Check wish as they have some cheap ones but the sizes may run small if they ship from China and take a few months.

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  • Future Mrs.tidwell 馃拲
    Savvy March 2021
    Future Mrs.tidwell 馃拲
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    Thank you for your advice. My thought I guess was that their jewelry is about $50 and I have 6 girls. The robes are only $15 so I鈥檇 rather buy the more expensive part as their gift instead of asking them to pay so much more. I鈥檒l talk to the girls about what they want to do and see if matching is something they even care about anymore. In the beginning that was the part they were most excited about.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen
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    Hmmmm...I would also think would they use the robes after? I did splurge and got myself a robe for pics but I did not get my MOH one because I thought she would not use it afterwards. I mean it does not hurt to ask. Also, do you know their jewelry preferences? I am thinking you can get a simple bracelet for like $30 and use the remainder for the robes?

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  • Future Mrs.tidwell 馃拲
    Savvy March 2021
    Future Mrs.tidwell 馃拲
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    The robes we looked at have no names or titles embroidered so yes, they would be able to use them afterwards. The jewelry is non-negotiable and we have all already agreed upon it.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn
    • Flag

    Yes, it's rude. If you want them to wear robes, you buy them. Their only financial obligation is a dress of your choosing.

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  • Future Mrs.tidwell 馃拲
    Savvy March 2021
    Future Mrs.tidwell 馃拲
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    Thank you for your input. As you all can tell I鈥檓 a young bride and just needed advice on etiquette. I will discuss with my girls what they would like to do and if they care about this or not.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen
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    Hmmmm...I would forego embroidered robes if it is not in your budget. I mean you can ask them if they would want to get themselves one for the wedding day but it should be their decision individually and none of them should feel pressured to get one. I can imagine you would want them all matching for the day of so would you be okay if some got one and others did not. I would present it as hey ladies it would be great if you could all be matching in these robes for the day of. If you are interested and would like one here is the site to buy for yourself but if you do not want one can you please wear this color on the day of.

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  • Future Mrs.tidwell 馃拲
    Savvy March 2021
    Future Mrs.tidwell 馃拲
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    That鈥檚 a excellent and kind way of saying it! Thank you for the help!
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  • Trisha
    Super October 2020
    Trisha
    • Flag

    If They Are Okay With It, I See No Issues.

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  • Future Mrs.tidwell 馃拲
    Savvy March 2021
    Future Mrs.tidwell 馃拲
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    I鈥檓 very open with my girls so if they aren鈥檛 okay with something; I have no intention of forcing them to do things. I just know when we started planning they seemed excited about this part the most (besides the bachelorette party).
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  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine
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    Robes aren't a necessity! I would ask them to see if it is in their budget if they are open to buy them cool, but if it puts a burden on anyone I would skip them

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  • Trisha
    Super October 2020
    Trisha
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    I Understand! I Think If They Are All Still Excited About It, They Might Want To Help Purchase Them. Smiley smile

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  • Kia
    Devoted September 2021
    Kia
    • Flag
    Yes and no, if you鈥檙e requiring the robes you should buy them. Etsy sells hundreds of robes most of which are like $5-$14
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa
    • Flag
    If the robes are being used as a prop for your photos, or if you're requiring them, then it's on you to buy them. There are plenty of options on Etsy though, you may be able to get them cheaper than you think!
    • Reply
  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta
    • Flag
    Personally, I would find the money in the budget to purchase the robes for your girls. Like you said, they are very inexpensive. It should be easy enough to make up that money by avoiding unnecessary purchases (ie, don鈥檛 stop at Starbucks on your way to work, pack lunch for work instead of ordering something, don鈥檛 eat out, mark a few things off the grocery list you don鈥檛 absolutely need, etc. etc.).
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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna
    • Flag
    Yes this is incredibly rude, you should not be asking them to buy their own robes. If you want them all to match, then ask them to wear a white tee shirt and black leggings or something, that they already own. It is rude to ask your bridesmaids to purchase something that is clearly a prop for getting ready photos.
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  • H
    Devoted August 2023
    Hhh
    • Flag
    Completely agree with Chrysta, you should find a way to buy them or forgo matching entirely. It鈥檚 the type of request where as a bridesmaid I would feel obligated to say yes I鈥檒l buy my own robe, but feel salty about it later. Regardless of whether they technically can be worn again, chances are if someone likes short/thin/cheap robes they already own one (personally I think they are cute in pics, just being realistic on what $15 gets you!). Honestly your best bet is probably to reallocate the 鈥渇lutes and little gifts鈥 money to the robes and you will be nearly there on budget and get a lot more value from that money.
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  • Future Mrs.tidwell 馃拲
    Savvy March 2021
    Future Mrs.tidwell 馃拲
    • Flag
    We have a solution ladies! I鈥檝e read everyone鈥檚 comments and appreciate the input from you all. We鈥檝e decided to go thrifting for some flannels on the bachelorette party and distressing them to fit each girl鈥檚 taste. This way it鈥檚 cheaper and a fun thing to do all together since our planning has been distanced due to the pandemic!馃グ
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie
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    I see that you aren't going to ask them to buy matching robes for your photos, which is great. But for anyone else reading and wondering about this topic, buying $50 jewelry isn't a reason to ask bridesmaids to buy robes either, because the jewelry is also optional and more for the photos than for them. All of these potential costs need to be weighed against the budget and factored into deciding how many bridesmaids to have. These are all choices.

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