What do i say? Cousin requesting invite- Might bring my parents?

I definitely would not invite her. It's your day for love and happiness, and to celebrate that with the people who love and support you. I"m sure she does love you, but in essence blackmailing you with the flowers wasn't supportive. She has to know what your parents put you through and to try and emotionally manipulate you was wrong, even if she may have had really good intentions. Most people think we have to make up with members of our family no matter what...we don't. Toxic relationships are just that toxic, regardless of it being family, friends, or loves. I agree with the other ladies on this, explaining that you have your guest list set, and it's a small gathering.

I feel you. I am not inviting certain people to our wedding because I don't want the location or any wedding details getting back to my dad, who is not invited. I would just be honest with her. You would love to have her there but she cannot be trusted and that you will not be inviting her to the wedding. This is your wedding day, not just some backyard get together. It is important that you can enjoy this day with those you want there and who support you.

I would not invite her. Even if she didn't invite your parents, I would not want someone around who would second guess my decision to keep my toxic parents out of my life. Even if she disagrees, she should respect your choice.

Agree with all the other posters. You owe her nothing. Keep it short, but firm and let her know she will not be invited. I am NC with one of my "caregivers" (parent is not an appropriate term), and anyone that thinks you need to "make up" since "they're family" clearly doesn't understand the toxic abuse you've been through.

Personally, I wouldn't invite her. She should be making ultimatums like she has regarding the flowers. Nor should she send text like in the photo. I personally would not take the risk of her bringing or informing your parents. In regards to her text, I wouldn't even respond. You don't owe her anything... even if she means well. Just ignore it and if she wants to text/chat later about something else then by all means do so. But don't address her inviting herself.

Do not invite her. She will bring your parents.

I would make it very clear to her that she is not invited, and why.

Also, how very rude of her.

I'm so sorry. I understand massive family issues, and my mother is currently on a Trash My Daughter To The Whole Family Tour. I'm an only child, she *was* invited to the wedding, but she got petty over the invitations and has declined to attend.

Perhaps assign a trusted friend to mind the door and make sure your cousin and/or your parents are dealt with before you ever have to see them, if they do decide to crash?

Hello sweetie,

Sorry to hear about your parents and I'm glad that you saw fit to seek counseling, So you already know that your cousin by influence is a stressor and should not be invited.

You are in a better place now and need to focus on your future with your new family! Please don't subject your son to any of that negativity. I'm a family person as well but if my cousin was hurt by her parents to the extent you were where they haven't spoken for 6+ years I wouldn't add any extra pressure during such a stressful joyous occasion.

I would verbally call the cousin an explain to her that although you appreciate your relationship with each other, and love her like family you have decided it's in your best interest to not invite her to the wedding. That you have grown so much over the last few years and only want to focus on prosperity and goodness and because you can't trust her to not tell your parents where the ceremony is and she doesn't understand your closure you have with them then it's best if she doesn't come.

Good Luck on your wedding day, hire security, and have a great marriage.

Be extremely careful with your wedding website! Even if you make the zola private (where you have to put in your name to get the info), they could put in the name of a guest they know is invited to try and see information. Not sure if you can, but maybe password protect it if zola allows that? I know you've already sent out invites and all probably, just text people what the password is, anyone you'd have to call instead of text probably isn't going on the website anyways.
Do not invite your aunt, especially with her pushing and saying i need an invite, I totally get what your saying with how it's not that weird since she's family, but as someone who also has an...interesting...family, it very much seems like she just wants the information to give it to your parents. If you really want her there, you could say "sure, of course you are invited, but just so you know, there will be security there keeping my parents out, if you are with them trying to get in they may not let you through." If you don't want her there, same as PP, your wedding is soon, it's a little too late for her to be asking for an invite. Say what the other person had worded, the "its been nice taking these past few months but we just don't have the room lets do dinner after" thing.
Also, PS: If your family is a little kooky, black out the address in that photo, you don't want someone trying to come at you legally if somehow this were to blow up online or something and her address is out there.

Stick to your gut and put your foot down! I also do not have a relationship with my mother or anyone on my mothers side because of things she has chose therefore I am not inviting anyone from her side. I have had so many people try to change my mind but I have stuck my ground and I believe you should to! If you believe she will bring your parents or let them know ANY details then I'm sorry to say she should not be invited as well. You don't want anyone there who could potentially ruin your day!