What do i say? Cousin requesting invite- Might bring my parents?

If she can give conditions of only offering help if your parents can come, maybe turn it around and say she can only come if your parents don't come?

If you feel that strongly about not trusting her to tell your parents about the wedding then stick with your gut instincts on this. I would reply with something like:

"It's been nice getting back in touch these last couple of months but unfortunately due to limited space we won't be able to extend an invitation. Maybe after the wedding we can meet for dinner to celebrate"

I mean I don't think there's any nice way to really tell people they are not invited without it either being awkward or causing hurt feelings (WHICH IS WHY THEY SHOULD NOT ASK). Just be polite but straightforward.

Your wedding is happening in a few months. It's very easy at this point to tell her that you've already set the guest count with your venue and caterer. You've already paid for the cake and chairs/ tables, etc for the headcount you chose. There is no room to add more people. Just leave it at that. If she offers to pay her own way, tell her you are at maximum capacity for the venue. Keep your responses short, basic, undetailed. You don't owe her anything more.

Oh wow.. If I were you I would probably just say as little as possible and say something like you cannot invite anymore people. I agree with the sentiment that she will probably tell your parents where it is. What a mess

I agree with both Stephanie and Alycia. This is your day. You need to do what's best for you. I think since there seems to be the potential for her to undermine your choices and bring your parents or even just telling them where it is, err on the side of caution and do not extend an invite to her. You can make it as personal (Stephanie's suggestion) or factual (Alycia's) as you want, but I agree that you need to protect yourself.

So sorry Jessica about the trouble with your parents. Is anyone else invited that knows them and would give the info out? If so, maybe just send them a message and you don't have to go into much detail but that you would prefer they do not share your wedding information with anyone.

I agree with others that I would not invite her. You have made it very clear you do not want to have a relationship with your parents and the fact that she's continued to push that issue would make me believe she cannot be trusted to respect your wishes. I'd probably be more on the honest/direct side with the response and tell her, given the family dynamics none of your relatives, including her, are invited to the wedding. You can tell her you love her and appreciate your long-term relationship, but you and FH are committed to the current guest list and will not be adding anyone else. End of story. If she persists in wanting an invitation, I wouldn't answer any other messages. Also, if she already knows the specifics of your wedding and/or they are easily available (e.g., a publicly accessible wedding website), I would consider hiring security for your wedding and letting her know that uninvited guests will be blocked/removed by security officers. I'm sorry for the behavior of people who are supposed to love you the most, but admire you taking the steps you have to establish critical boundaries. Good luck!

ABSOLUTELY! This is why I don't understand why anyone would have a wedding website that is NOT password protected. Without that, every detail is available to any nosy/crazy person who thinks to Google your names.... Glad you found out when there is still time to take additional security precautions. When you answer your cousin, I'd probably include that you and FH feel so strongly about maintaining your guest list you will have security at the wedding to ensure uninvited guests do not attend. I'd just tell her straight up in an attempt to discourage any "surprises."

I would be honest with her on why she isn't invited. I also would not share any information as for a wedding date, location etc...