Anne
Master June 2017

What constitutes cocktail attire for a wedding?

Anne, on March 18, 2017 at 6:22 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 26
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My cousin is getting married a week after we are. I received her invite and went to her wedding website where she has "cocktail attire" as the dress code.

The wedding is at 4pm with dinner at 6. I googled the term and really couldn't find a good explanation.

Can I wear a black and white dress to the wedding? Is black appropriate? Does FH have to wear a suit and tie? He is wearing a Hawaiian shirt and khakis to our wedding. Getting him to wear a tie is quite a challenge. He doesn't even own a suit. Why do people have to impose dress codes on people?

Thanks in advance for the input.

26 Comments

  • Celia Milton
    January 2020
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    I'd say a cute dress, and black is fine. Generally, yeah....a suit and tie..... or a suit with a nice collarless shirt.

    Yeah....dress codes, I don't get it.

    • Reply
  • StPaulGal
    Master July 2017
    StPaulGal ·
    • Flag

    How does he not own a suit and tie? Does he never go anywhere nice ever?

    • Reply
  • Gorgame
    Expert April 2017
    Gorgame ·
    • Flag

    He definitely needs to wear a suit ... it's better to be overdressed than underdressed ... and unless it says CASUAL I would never assume a guy shouldn't wear a suit to a wedding .

    I think he can skip the tie if that's an issue for him

    • Reply
  • KitandKaboodle
    Master November 2016
    KitandKaboodle ·
    • Flag

    For men, a dark suit with a tie. Although DH will generally take it off. For women, a short dress (I personally am more comfortable in the tea length) However, when in doubt, wear a little black dress and jewelry. However, if you'd rather wear color, go with something bright and feminine

    • Reply
  • Anne
    Master June 2017
    Anne ·
    • Flag

    It's the Williamsburg Lodge for the reception. Church for the wedding. It's not super fancy. He and I have been together for over 3 years and he has never had a reason to wear a suit. He doesn't wear anything close to that for work (khakis and polo M-Th) Jeans on Friday. He has nice slacks and button down shirts and a few blazers but no suits. The dress I'm contemplating is long, fitted, and black and white paisley. It has little seed pearls sewn in the top. Very elegant but black and white. If FH can pull off charcoal pants and a white or blue oxford with long sleeves, he would be very happy to not have to sport a tie.

    • Reply
  • karen
    Master October 2017
    karen ·
    • Flag

    I think he will be OK with no tie, but I would go with nice slacks and blzer.

    • Reply
  • Gorgame
    Expert April 2017
    Gorgame ·
    • Flag

    Every adult male should have one suit

    • Reply
  • Mrswelch
    Master December 2017
    Mrswelch ·
    • Flag

    I think what your describing is perfectly fine OP.

    I disagree with the notion that every adult male needs a suit, if it's nothing that fits into their lifestyle who am I to judge? You can dress nicely with a blazer and nice pants and not a full suit.

    • Reply
  • Anne
    Master June 2017
    Anne ·
    • Flag

    This is a 45 year old man who wears super man and Mickey Mouse t shirts. He acts like a 10 year old about getting dressed up. But... I love him and it's great that he is a child at heart. I suppose we will cross the suit buying bridge when we absolutely have to.

    • Reply
  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
    • Flag

    Alrighty then.

    Welp...I like your choice of dress, Anne. I think he should wear one of his slacks, and a button down shirt with a blazer. No Superman, or Mickey Mouse t-shirts please. *insert big eyes emoji*

    • Reply
  • Future Mrs H
    Devoted September 2017
    Future Mrs H ·
    • Flag

    Totally don't understand why people are being so judgy and rude about your FH. It sounds like he knows how to dress appropriately when needed, just doesn't like a tie. I get it. I probably wouldn't like something around my neck either.

    What you are describing sounds perfect. I hope you guys have a great time!

    • Reply
  • Anne
    Master June 2017
    Anne ·
    • Flag

    Bless your heart Future Mrs. H. He is a sweetheart but he could use some style pointers. At the ages of 44 and 45, I don't think there is much hope for him on the style front. I overlook cargo shorts and tennis shoes with white socks and an Ironman t shirt. He is the sweetest man I ever met and I just look the other way at his clothing choice. Thank y'all for the suggestions.


    • Reply
  • Anne
    Master June 2017
    Anne ·
    • Flag

    But he does clean up nicely for work Christmas parties.


    • Reply
  • Alexandra
    Super October 2017
    Alexandra ·
    • Flag

    @Anne B PPs covered the dress code thing already but I just wanted to say you and FH are a gorgeous couple!! Have a blast at the wedding!

    • Reply
  • Anne
    Master June 2017
    Anne ·
    • Flag

    Alexandra L,

    Thank you. You are very sweet for your kind words. Wishing you the best in your wedding planning.

    • Reply
  • JPCD
    VIP May 2018
    JPCD ·
    • Flag

    I agree. Beautiful couple.

    On the bright side... my FH is the opposite of yours and he takes forever to pick out the perfect outfit. He's a fashionista (and I'm certain he dresses better than I do)

    Lol

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Super August 2017
    Sarah ·
    • Flag

    Anne B - what jacket is he wearing in the Christmas party picture? Could he wear that for the wedding? I think the jacket (is it a sport coat he wore with a different pair of pants?) would look more appropriate than just the pants and button up shirt would. And he can always remove that jacket after the ceremony if he wants to.

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Super August 2017
    Sarah ·
    • Flag

    He could wear it with gray pants and no tie if he's really anti suit and anti tie. This looks much nicer/more dressed up than he would look without the jacket.


    • Reply
  • Anne
    Master June 2017
    Anne ·
    • Flag

    JPCD

    Thank you. I was married to a metro man for 18 years who was obsessed with his looks. He took an hour to get ready, worked out 2 hours a day, shaved his chest and arms, dyed his hair, and waxed his eyebrows. He was also a philandering narcissist. He had two one night stands that I know of and ended up leaving me and our 10 year old daughter for a younger unmarried woman he met on a work trip. I love the fact that my FH could care less what he wears. He cares about rubbing my feet after work and bringing me a glass of wine when I come in the door from work. He sometimes makes me cringe at what he wears ( he loves Hawaiian shirts) but I look beyond the bad dressing.

    • Reply
  • Anne
    Master June 2017
    Anne ·
    • Flag

    Sarah G

    Love it. It's a blue blazer in the pic with gray slacks. Thanks for sending the pic. I think he could pull it off well. Smiley smile

    • Reply

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