What age are you considering to be a child?

I think the only number you can use is 18. Definitely don't separate families, and don't invite older children but not younger ones. Also, please don't invite a baby to the ceremony and then say she has to be picked up by someone for the reception. Thats rude.

Under 12 is a child

Under 18 is a child.

I'm using 12 and under unless in the Bridal party. Even then the kids in my Bridal party (my own kids, nieces and nephew) are going to be leaving halfway into the reception to be with a sitter.

The idea that you would invite a 12 year old but not their 11 year old sibling is extremely rude.

First of all, let me repeat that it's not really an issue for us, but I've seen it come up a lot and I'm curious about different opinions.

@A.L. My FSIL can do whatever she wants with her daughter (who I suppose will be a toddler by then). I won't tell her she HAS to do anything, but since her in-laws live nearby and often help her with babysitting with this sort of thing, I imagine she won't want to keep the baby out all night. I wouldn't invite a 12-year-old, but not an 11-year-old sibling, but I'd also have a problem inviting an 18-year-old but not a 16-year old. I think it all depends on your family and situation. For us, it's easy because we don't have families with mixed ages like that.

As for Karie's comment, I don't really see why "voting and driving" has anything to do with being invited to a wedding. I tend to agree with her. I don't particularly want families bringing their toddlers, but I'm happy to have the 15-year-old who is like a niece to me at the wedding.

Under 12 is usually the diff between them being able to get a kids meal or not.

I agree with PP of not inviting the same way on each family side. We are planning to invite all first cousins, even though some of mine are only 9 or 10. But we aren't going "out" enough in the family to invite cousins children, even though some of them are the same age. We just are keeping our wedding small and that part of it doesn't depend on age

If you can't split up families but are doing kids only, how does that work if some of the couple's kids are over 18 (or the cut-off age) and some aren't? Also, isn't the whole concept of not splitting families defeated by no kids since inviting a couple but not their kids splits up that family?

Our venue considered 12 and under as children, as far as the meal selections. But it sounds like you're just inviting all ages?

We're only inviting 21 and over. Other than that, 18 is really the best number (I'd say the only number) because it helps prevent accidentally separating families.

Rayla, no to both of your questions. Inviting only 18+ over is fine if the adult has younger siblings. And "don't split up a family" only refers to children.

I only have children that are family above the age of 7. So we invited immediate family children, but no one else's.

We did 18. We had one issue where there was a 20 year old and a 16 year old in the family, so we didn't invite either. It really wasn't that difficult.

For sure a child is anyone under 18. I feel if someone says they are having a "child-free" wedding, I would expect only legal adults.. not "especially mature 14 year olds"

15 and under.

However, if you want the baby as a Flower girl you need to allow her parents to keep her for the reception. ETA: Our age doesnt split families. But it does still allow for the atmosphere we would like for our wedding.

@Pia, I'm not kicking my niece out of the reception. I'm just assuming my FSIL will have her grandparents pick her up at some point, like she's done in the past, and not keep her kid out until midnight. Or maybe she'll leave early too. I don't really care. She can do whatever she wants.

@April S oh ok. I didn't get that understanding from the opening post.

15 is not an appropriate cut off.

Sorry Pia, didn't mean to jump down your throat I definitely worded that poorly.

I'm still a bit confused why it's wrong to invite a 15-year-old who I am close with even though I don't particularly want all my friend's toddlers there. And i'll add that we're only in our early 20s, so I can sympathize with a 17-year-old who doesn't want to be treated as a child. To me, keeping track of under-21 is the bigger problem. I don't see much of a difference between 17 and 19.

We only invited 21 and up. Our venue charged the full adult rate ($175) for all guests 13 and up; there was not discount for 5 hours of open bar. Guests 12 and under who didn't want the a kids meal, which seems to be common on here, = full adult rate.

Plus our venue had the option of asking for a photo ID, every time an alcoholic beverage was ordered, if we invited under 21s.