So, that's fun.
Woke up to a notification on my Knot app, said someone had RSVP'd online. Open it up, it's my mother. And she declined.
Yes, she was JUST at my wedding shower (she took the pics I posted).
I'm not terribly surprised. There was flooding around her region on Thursday, I reached out via text to check in with her, and she was *super* terse and didn't start a conversation. (She was fine.)
I suspect this is because her name isn't on the invitations.
1. She has paid for nothing.
2. She has offered to pay for - well, refer to #1.
3. She has offered to HELP with a about a smidge more than... well, refer to #1.
4. When she did offer to help, it was May, we got engaged on NYE, the wedding is in August. The major stuff was planned by then.5. We (obviously) have a terrible relationship.
So, no, her name didn't go on the invitations. Yes, my stepmother went on them, because both she and my father are helping pay, are supportive, are sounding boards for planning, and we have good relationships. We were very careful on the wording - we never used the term 'daughter of' (...now I wish we had).
But. Mom hasn't called me, she hasn't emailed me, she just... declined. Both FH and I are a little shocked we haven't had a screaming phone call. She's a narcissist, so my guess is that she's waiting on my tear-filled phone call. (She didn't get it today - 1. ....This is exactly what I wanted? Her not at the wedding? So... gonna have to gin up those tears. 2. I was VERY busy today, doing nice, happy things for myself and with FH and our friends.)
TL;DR: my biggest concern is that she's lying her head off to the rest of the family about me (she's done it before, and I've had a cousin stop me mid-sentence, incredulously, as they learned the truth about me for the first time). So, I've gotta call my mom and politely inquire what in tarnation is going on, please be an adult and talk to me, and then I've gotta call a cousin or two and see if there's been any ripple effect.
Anyway, I'm pretty ok with this, but there are some emotions underneath.