Well it happened, uninvited guest

I honestly don't even have any advice on this. I just wanted to say that I am really sorry that this is causing you so much heartache one month before your wedding date. Hopefully you and your family can work something out.

Uninvited guests would be such a headache. I would ask yourself, is it more drama to include her or not include her? Is is possible to accommodate her (venue-wise)? What do your siblings and parents think? I would say, perhaps it is an opportunity to mend the relationship instead of hurt if more if you can...obviously you have the right to tell her no.

As a sister myself I really don't see my wedding happening without my sisters. even though we get on each others nerves and we have our own issues I still think you should invite your sister.l if your sister really wants to come at least have somebody monitoring her especially if she has a drinking problem.

@Asta gives good advice here.

ETA: grammar.

Wow! I can see how this is incredibly stressful and upsetting. I feel for you, OP. She may be your sister, but that does not give her an excuse to be rude.

While I can see, this as upsetting, it may also be her way of reaching out. Some people are really bad at human interaction. If you feel like that's the case here and your budget allows, maybe make an exception and extend the invite.

If you don't feel like this is an attempt to mend the relationship, PP have provided some great options for how to extend your apologies and decline her rudeness.

If you're conflicted, I think talking with your parents and/or brothers might be a good way to feel out the situation. I hope you get this sorted without too much stress, OP!

Oh boy, I'm sorry to hear about this. You've got two roads to take: being blunt, or being polite. Both Asta and Penny made great suggestions. This is obviously upsetting you, so don't back down from your decision.

If you could see her just showing up the day of uninvited, make sure your family and relatives know not to give your sister the location of the venue/reception or the time of the ceremony.

If I were you, I would ignore it. She didn't get an invite, so it should be clear she's not invited. Don't let this girl drag down an otherwise good day!

Just say something along the lines of you turned in your numbers already and cannot accommodate her unfortunately. No one should cause you stress by being there, that is awfully rude for her to invite herself!

My sister and I were never close growing up. Then she went to London for college. I think distance helped us grow in our personal lives and we are 2 different people now. She was a BM in my wedding. She went above and beyond for me. I should of asked her to be my MOH as well with my best friend and that is something I regret to this day. She had no complaints and was happy to help in a way that she could. My sister and I bonding and marrying my husband were literally the 2 best things to come from our wedding. We are closer than ever now. I'm not trying to guilt trip you OP, just giving my personal experience. When it comes to immediate family and think most have issues, but if they are not abusive I think you should extend the invite. Has your parents or brothers even asked you about her, like did you invite your sister? Do they even care?

ETA: words

Thank you all for your support.

To add a bit to the story: Besides the o contact and the drinking problem, she is also a drama queen and will make the entire day about her. She has been cruel to my Mom (her step mom) and has said mean horrible things to her over the years. And also to me. I do not have the funds to accommodate her, nor do I want to. I only want people who are loving and supportive of our relationship and want to celebrate the long 10 year road it has taken us to get here. She knows none of our story because she doesn't care. I don't need her there making it all about herself.

Yuck, I'm so sorry, OP. I'm guessing the tearfulness is because this just, well, sucks all around.

If you do not want your sister there, simply respond back, with no emotion, exactly what Asta wrote. I personally would not heed the advice of those trying to recommend that maybe, because she's family she should be permitted to come. You presumably have a reason for not wanting her there, no invite has been extended, and you're under no obligation to do so. She is the rude one for pushing an invite.

Be blunt and be firm. If you don't want her there tell her so. Don't be afraid. She's only reaching out to you now because she wants to go to the wedding because it's a free party. I seriously doubt it if she would have reached out to you if you were not getting married. The nerve on some people.

I agree with the others who say be blunt and firm: "You are not invited, if you show up you will be asked to leave." Don't offer a reason, don't let her argue. She will attempt to show up, drink a lot and probably tip over your cake or fall into a table. It is your day, along with your hubby, and she can't ruin it!

The problem with saying you cannot accommodate somebody is that often enough those people will tell someone who's also invited to the wedding and they'll find someone who's willing to give up their seat for her. Then you'll have no choice but to accept it. Which is not really the case. She's not invited because she doesn't her her there. Unfortunately with people like that you can't be polite. You have to tell it to their faces. And yeah I disagree with people who said just because they're related by blood they need to make amends and suck it up. Hmmm, hell no. Just because you're family doesn't mean shit. Family isn't everything. Your family is who you make them to be. Not just blood relatives. In my opinion, families are the ones that cause more trouble at weddings than anyone else. Families are a no go for me.

@SuYa, that's kind of the thing. Personal experiences will vary. Relationships vary, regardless if it is with a significant other or a family member. There isn't always a "Happy Ever After," unfortunately.

Your sister has moved back last year. She had a year, year and a half to at least try to fix things. She waited until a month before the wedding to reach out to you, and it was only to express interest to attend your wedding. She is the one who did this to herself.

I'm pretty blunt so I may not be the best for advice. I would probably say " I'm sorry but I cannot accomdate you for the wedding, you have not reached out to me prior to this so my guest list is final".

I wouldn't respond now. Waiting till you can think clearly is the best response

I think being upfront with her is the best way to go. Saying "unfortunately we cannot accommodate more guests, as our RSVP deadline has come and gone" is totally appropriate.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this, people who think they are entitled to an invite are the worst.

I agree with what was said above. Just because they are family/blood, doesn't means they get a free pass. I have a family member doing the same thing. "I'm family, I have this right." Excuse me, No. If she makes no effort to be apart of your everyday life, then I say you politely decline her attendance. It's hard and confusing. And part of you feels like your doing something wrong or making a mistake, but your not. She made the mistake by not trying to be apart of your life. I'm so sorry your going through this. It's never easy.

I'm sorry OP. That's a pretty crappy way for her to "reach out". I don't have much advice but my first thought is to not have her attend. If there is any chance of reconciliation, it needs to be done outside of your wedding. I wish the best for her.