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Mageofhonor
Dedicated November 2021

Weird to Receive Registry Gift Before Wedding?

Mageofhonor, on June 16, 2021 at 2:25 PM Posted in Registry 0 22
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Hi, y’all


My fiancé and I may be overthinking this, but we recently got a notification that a purchased gift on our registry was discontinued and has limited stock. The vendor said we could either get a credit for the item or have the item shipped to us while there’s still some stock left. We both feel a little odd about shipping the gift to us now because our wedding isn’t until November and it feels weird to accept a gift for something that hasn’t happened yet, but we’re also considering how we would go about thanking the person who bought the gift. Would it be equally as strange to thank them for something they didn’t intend to gift if we utilize a credit? Would that come off like we traded it for something else? Or should we just go ahead and accept the gift they purchased and have it shipped?
IDK...again it’s probably us overthinking it, but what’s the right move here?

22 Comments

Latest activity by Kari, on June 28, 2021 at 4:53 PM
  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    Def. overthinking it. If you have the option to have it sent now while it's in stock then do it that way! Your guest purchased it for a reason, and this way ensures that you'll get it!

    Don't feel weird about it though lol. My mom got us something from ours as a Christmas gift last year and our wedding isn't until January lol. We also noticed someone purchased something for us last month, but we have no clue who it was, or when the item will ship. Some people just like to send gifts early!

    Just make sure to send a thank you card as soon as you receive it!

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  • C
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
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    I would have the vendor mail you the gift and send a thank you card now. Most people bought our registry gifts early and I sent each thank you as they came.
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  • Alejandra
    Super March 2019
    Alejandra ·
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    Hi Meghan,

    Since the gift has already been purchased I don't see why it should be weird for you to get it before hand, especially if you'd actually like to have the item, since you picked it. If it is being discontinued and has low stock then that means you'd be losing out on it if you wait for a later time. If you take the credit I'd just thank them for the original gift to avoid confusion and having to explain why the item suddenly changed. If I gifted a couple a blender and they thanked me for a sheet set I'd be concerned that my gift was swapped at the wedding before I'd think that they changed it for something else.

    Good Luck!

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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    Perfectly normal!
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  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
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    It's actually pretty typical to receive registry gifts over the course of your engagement. Have the company send the stock they have, and send a lovely thank you note asap. H & I sent thank yous, but didn't use anything we were sent ahead of the wedding until after we were married.

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  • Nicole
    Master September 2020
    Nicole ·
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    Echoing everyone that previously commented, definitely have them ship the item now and send a thank you card when you receive it. It's very common for people to buy gifts prior to the wedding and by writing the thank you now, you'll let them know that you received it (and it will be one less thank you to write after the wedding!)

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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    Have it shipped. There’s absolutely nothing weird about it. Was it not shipped yet because you set your registry up that way or because of the buyer? If you set it up that way, they may have even intended for it to already be sent and given (we got some random registry gifts throughout, like an engagement present or just because people are wonderful and kind!)


    If you don’t want to use it before the wedding, you don’t have to. But someone bought it for you, you should at least elect to receive the gift !
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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    Yes, get the gift now and send a thank you card ASAP. Honestly, as a guest, I anticipate that when I order a gift, it gets sent right away. This whole "holding" thing that some registries like Zola do is kind of odd and most people are not familiar with it.
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  • Mageofhonor
    Dedicated November 2021
    Mageofhonor ·
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    Ah, thanks so much for your insight! 😃 Glad to know that this isn’t an unusual thing. I figured we were overthinking it (which has pretty much been the norm for us throughout this entire planning process 😅) but we also didn’t know what to do, lol, so really helpful to know how we should proceed!
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  • Mageofhonor
    Dedicated November 2021
    Mageofhonor ·
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    Thank you! That’s definitely what we’ll plan to do!
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  • Mageofhonor
    Dedicated November 2021
    Mageofhonor ·
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    Thanks for your input! I def think it would cause confusion/concern if we were to swap it out for something too so we’ll go ahead and receive the gift they bought while it’s available.😁
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  • Mageofhonor
    Dedicated November 2021
    Mageofhonor ·
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    Thank you! Really relieved to know that this is normal, haha.
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  • Mageofhonor
    Dedicated November 2021
    Mageofhonor ·
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    Really glad to have people confirm that this is typical—thank you! Def will send a thank-you note as soon as we receive it.
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  • Mageofhonor
    Dedicated November 2021
    Mageofhonor ·
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    Thank you! We’re definitely going to follow through with that plan. Always down to minimize any additional post-wedding work! 😆
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  • Mageofhonor
    Dedicated November 2021
    Mageofhonor ·
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    Thanks for your input! We’re going to go ahead and have it sent. We have a Zola registry so it holds the gifts as well as allows guests to make a gift a “surprise to be revealed later.”
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  • Mageofhonor
    Dedicated November 2021
    Mageofhonor ·
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    Thanks for the advice! Our registry is actually through Zola so we didn’t know that it wasn’t a typical thing, haha.
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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    Haha yeah, it's not. I think Zola and maybe a few other sites do it. I registered through Bed, Bath, and Beyond and Wayfair directly, and when guests bought something, it came after they bought it. My SIL initially registered through Zola and found the waiting thing weird and disingenuous so they stopped using it. So yeah, from.a guest perspective, that is definitely not common knowledge, so they would probably have expected you got the gift already. So I definitely wouldn't feel weird just getting it now.
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    We received several gifts before our actual wedding. That is very common. Go ahead and accept the gift and send a thank you card.
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  • C
    Savvy September 2021
    C ·
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    I also found this weird initially. We are registered on one site that auto sends and on Zola, which allows us to send when we are ready to receive them. The second is super beneficial if you are moving, on vacation, or otherwise not able to receive gifts for some reason.

    One of the greatest benefits of getting gifts early is being able to stay on top of Thank You's. It's so much easier to write those as they come instead of doing them in bulk down the road when its a larger task.

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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    Super normal. We received nearly all of our physical gifts from the registry before our wedding.

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