Weddings - Show you who your true friends are

There is no way I would let any of that fly. If she's made wedding planning (as far as she is involved) "HELL" and your family and FI don't want her a part of your special day...what are you holding out on? Is it because she's pregnant?

Hormones don't excuse being tasteless and rude. I would show Sally the door.

You should have kicked her out when the C ending in T happened -- I can't imagine that anyone that would behave so crudely in public is a joy to be around in general.

You say she's a high school friend -- were you still close to her when you asked her to be a BM? If you weren't, then asking her may not have been the best idea in the first place.

I'd definitely speak with her. I don't know why anyone would even want to wear an ill fitting dress in public. If money is an issue and she's just being defensive against that, maybe you can work something out, but still, you need to get to the bottom of her behavior and decide if it's something you're willing to chance putting up with at your wedding.

Also, wait to print your programs, exactly for these reasons. There's no real need to make them more than about a month before.

Yes I would say we are still friends, or at least trying to hold onto what was once a great friend ship. I have watched her turn into a nasty bitter person.

Now here is part 2 of the question. I have a friend, we have grown rather close in the last 4 months, who has been a huge help at all wedding related events up to date - events Sally made hell or did not attend. I can still have a BM dress rush ordered and be here in time for the wedding. If Sally says she wont be making to the wedding is it wrong for me to ask this other friend to be part of my day?

@ Rev.AnnFuller I have thought long and hard who would fit her dress but no one comes close!! It would be cheaper to order a new dress rather than have hers altered.

Her only requirement is to wear the dress you pick out and stand beside you at her wedding. That's it. If she can't manage that, she has withdrawn herself from your wedding party.

Please do not substitute her with someone else if this happens. That is disrespectful and hurtful to the "filler" bridesmaid. Wedding parties are for those you are close to and for those you want to stand up with you. Would you feel good about being selected solely because you fit a dress? Just be down a bridesmaid.

This is not directed at you in particular, as I've seen this happen a number of time with ladies on these boards.

But if you are "trying to hold on to what was once a great friendship" -- it is not NOW, CURRENTLY, TODAY a great friendship. Nostalgia is great and all, but someone having been a great friend in the past is not an automatic bid to be a BM now. Especially if you watched her turn into a nasty, bitter person.

And it sounds like you've made a fantastic friend who wasn't as big a part of your past that is a much better friend NOW, TODAY than Sally has been. I would have asked HER at the beginning than Sally.

You can ADD her as a bridesmaid, as it sounds like she's been amazing and you can explain that you've grown so close that you wished you'd asked from the get go (if you genuinely feel that way), but I wouldn't REPLACE.

There's been a few times that ladies have realized that they were much closer to this person, or have grown so close to a person while planning that they genuinely want them standing with them on their big day. It has to be a delicate conversation, but it can be done. But like I said, ADD, don't REPLACE.

And have that conversation with Sally. It sounds like it's beyond just being a BM, it's about your actual friendship -- it takes two to tango, so if she's putting zero effort into being your friend, or actually adding negativity to your life, you really need to question if it's worth having her in your life for nostalgia's sake.

Is sally in my wedding too?

She found out she was preggers in Dec, and is due to have baby boy in Aug... she has told me that she will not be getting fitted until the end of Sept 1st of Oct... and if it doesn't look good then sorry nothing she is going to stress over.

I understand you had a baby 2 months before the wedding but seriously please show a little respect to my wedding.

I would talk to Sally about how you're feeling

I don't understand the matching numbers thing....probably never will. In your case, at least you had a volunteer, so I guess you're not calling her second best or eventual best. My opinion stands otherwise.