Wedding

No you are not unreasonable at all, especially with COVID being a thing. I am worried about my 2 year old being exposed, I would most definitely be worried about a 2 week old.

No, you are not being unreasonable. I would hope your family would understand and if needed, I'd seek medical advice now and have them tell you the same and put it in writing so that it's written. Family is so important, but a new borns life is so much more important especially in these uncertain times.

I mean go plan a destination wedding during this crisis is a little inconsiderate. I would be VERY UPSET / Like you said that’s a lot to do, traveling with a new born during a pandemic after you just gave birth ... for me I wouldn’t be going. Why can’t they wait any longer ? What’s the big rush

He honestly should have thought about that before planning his wedding 2 weeks after your due date. I wouldn't feel bad for not showing up. That's seriously inconsiderate. If they can't wait, why not do something closer to home for everyone and then do a destination wedding for their renewal or something?? I don't see what the big rush is.

It’s fair to be upset that he is trying to convince you to go with a 2 week old. If it was sooo important that you are able to go, they should have scheduled it for a couple/few months after the baby. Obviously they can chose whatever date they want, but they shouldn’t be getting mad at you or blame you for not being able to attend.

You might go past your due date, you will definitely still be hurting definitely still bleeding, not even going into the pandemic and a newborn, it is super inconsiderate of your brother to be pushing this. Maybe he can do it virtually so you can watch it if they are so firm on the date.

If it was me, I wouldn’t go, and I probably wouldn’t even apologize about it. It’s not like you just found out your due date after they set a date, that’s on them and it makes it look intentional. Even thinking about traveling with my children when they were newborns sounds miserable, but we also had complications and I had to have emergency cesareans. You have to do what’s best for you and your family. I was two weeks late when I was born, or rather 16 days if you ask my mom, what happens then?
I hope you have a healthy rest of your pregnancy and a happy healthy baby! Best wishes!

Its not unreasonable and I would feel how you feel. Plus it seem as if its a short notice anyway. O wouldn't travel with a 2 weeks year old...no way. I feel you are right

View Quoted Comment Yup, this. In fact, I’d find out from your doctor when it would be safe to travel in public places (plane, wedding), with a new baby and then give that date. For example, if your doctor says not until your baby is at least six months old, give your brother that date.


Your brother can also elope then have a local reception when it’s safe for you & baby to come. Don’t risk your health or your baby’s.

You’re not being unreasonable at all. It doesn’t sound like it’s a high priority to your brother for you to attend. Stick to your guns. Give him an estimate of when you will be comfortable traveling and he can do with that what he wants.

No you are not being unreasonable. With covid and giving birth and having a newborn, you should follow what the doctors recommend. He's being unreasonable. Tell him the time it would be ok for you to travel and hopefully he will change the date. If he won't change the date don't change your mind. Stick with your decision. Your newborns health and your health and safety are more important. And if he doesn't understand that then that's on him.

You’re not being unreasonable! In fact, he is... you can’t risk your new born

I'm sorry, but he's being completely ridiculous.... Even in NORMAL times a mother and newborn shouldn't be traveling 2 weeks postpartum (if the baby arrives on times...) and certainly not in the middle of a pandemic. I'm guessing he's young and naive, but I'd just shut him down. You can love and support him and his fiance without risking your, your newborn's, and the rest of your family's lives.... Do not feel guilty about this, he made his choices, you get to make yours. Hang in!

Definitely not unreasonable, considering everything going on traveling is already risky , traveling with a new born is a big risk . Hopefully the are able to understand the situation and possibly choose a date to work for everyone

Thanks everyone for your comments! This has been helpful, even if you didn’t agree with me. It’s nice to get others perspective. I’ve been feeling very hurt by his decision to leave us out of this important day in his life and it’s nice to know I have some support.


The biggest rush for the wedding is that they are trying to abstain and doesn’t want to wait any longer... amongst a few other reasons. 🤦‍♀️
Thank you!

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Exactly. I would just wish him goodbye, safe travels and best wishes. Your health and your family's health is more important. I really hope your bother reconsiders or gives you the opportunity to be there virtually. Hope you enjoy your pregnancy and wish health to you and your family.

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LOL.... This makes it even funnier to me.... He wants you to risk your family's health because they want to have sex sooner than later???? OMG! Hopefully one day soon he'll grow up and realize how self-centered their thought process is. (They could get married locally or earlier, if he really wants you to be able to attend.) I stand by my earlier response, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Send a nice gift when the time comes, wish them well, and tell them you can't wait to see the pictures. Hang in!

I read this post earlier when you first posted but didnt answer because everyone else had already agreed with my thoughts. I actually cant stop thinking about this. This is by far the most selfish thing I have heard in a while - as far as your brother goes. He doesnt understand because he doesnt have kids but kids are dying from this virus. A newborn at 2 weeks old, if you have your baby on your due date, has the weakest immune system. Not only that but they havent even had there flu vaccine and you'll most likely be on a plan where the air is being recirculated. I have 2 very young kids and I have not left my house or allowed anyone who is out in the public to come over. I dont think in any way you're being unreasonable for not attending his wedding so he can have sex sooner than later. Sorry for the rant, just very upsetting that people are like this, so selfish.

View Quoted Comment Omg it sounds like they both have a lot of growing up to do. They aren't even getting married for the right reasons. I don't want to sound mean but they'll probably end up divorced and you will be able to attend his next wedding.

You are not being unreasonable at all! I would not feel comfortable bringing my two week old on a flight even without COVID!! Your brother is definitely being unreasonable - I understand his excitement, but there are other things to consider as well. As I’m sure you know, pregnancy and births don’t usually go as planned lol. You could be overdue, you could deliver early, you could be recovering from a c section (hopefully not I’m not trying to put any negativity out there!!) but these are things your brother and future sister in law should be considering since it matters that much to him to have you there! Best of luck to you and congrats ❤️