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Devoted December 2021

Wedding with no family

Asia, on August 25, 2020 at 12:36 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 46

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Hello everyone,

So I do not know where this forum is going to go but I’m open to ALL response good bad or ugly. This will be a bit personal but I want you guys’ thoughts.
Soooo, first of I have a very small immediate family. Growing up it was only me and my younger brother raise by my now deceased Great- grandmother. Technically, my “family” consisted of me, two brother, great granny, my distant mother and distant grandmother (who we called aunt for so long).)
Well I do not have a good relationship with any of them after the passing of my great grandmother.
It is very likely that on MY side I will have only friends & “family friends in attendance at my wedding. Not to say they don’t agree with the marriage or my FH., we just do not have a relationship and do not talk! My dad is alive but when he heard wedding he clearly thought $$$ as though I would be dumb enough to ask him for anything. So he basically ignored it. My dad has a large family who I do not even know.
I’m ok with them not being there. But I’m more worried about what my FH family would think. Because I kid you not it will only be his family and my friends. I know this is suppose to be a magical day but I’m not too sure how this will even play out. I will be walking myself down the aisle, giving myself away, no dance (maybe dance with my FIL.)
I can completely block it out and focus on the person that matters who will be at the end of the aisle.
Any thoughts?

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46 Comments

Latest activity by Asia, on September 7, 2020 at 7:13 PM

Master October 2020
Yasmine · on August 25, 2020 at 12:42 PM
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You should only have the people who mean the most and support your relationship at your wedding. If that means that your family isn't in attendance because you have no relationship, then so be it. I'm sure you have some friends who you consider family right? They'll be your "family" at your wedding. If it doesn't bother you then I wouldn't worry about it at all. If it bothers you that's a different story, but definitely don't worry thinking what others will think. All that matters is you and your fiance being happy!
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Legend July 2022
Lisa · on August 25, 2020 at 12:58 PM
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I agree with Yasmine. Invite only those who you cannot imagine your wedding day without. Other people do not get to decide who you do/do not invite to your wedding, so their opinion does not matter. If you and your fiance are at peace with the decision, that's all that matters. No matter what you choose to do, your wedding will be beautiful!
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Devoted December 2021
Asia · on August 25, 2020 at 12:58 PM
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Thanks Yasmine,

My bridesmaids were like “OH WELL”! And yes mostly my whole life it’s been friends who were my chosen family. And their parents being mine!
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on August 25, 2020 at 12:59 PM
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I would invite who you want and forget about what anyone else thinks. As long as you two are happy that's all that matters.
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Devoted December 2021
Asia · on August 25, 2020 at 1:00 PM
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Thanks Lisa. Yeah I’m not worried. The people I’ve WANTED there will be present in spirit. But I’m not in the business of feeding “fri-nemies”
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Devoted December 2021
Asia · on August 25, 2020 at 1:00 PM
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Diddo! Save on invites and catering lol
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Master October 2022
Jana · on August 25, 2020 at 1:06 PM
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Only invite people you want to share the day with and are supportive of you. Not everyone has family so a bride/groom/couple should not be treated differently because they have a less than 'ideal' situation.
I cut off my immediate family due to their toxicity, and grandparents are since deceased. I am much closer to extended family (aunt and many cousins) and friends who have become my chosen family in their stead.
At the end of the day, no one else's opinions matter.
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on August 25, 2020 at 1:09 PM
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Those who are the closest to you relationship wise are the ones invited. I don't think you should care what your in laws think. I would only see it as a red flag if you were the one who cut complete contact from your entire family when no abuse or any serious conflict happened.

Try to focus on the positives, I know it's difficult!!! I'm close to my mom but not at all with my dad, so he wouldn't be the one walking down the aisle with me, etc.
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on August 25, 2020 at 1:28 PM
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I agree with the others. My husband didn’t have any family show up. He only has one brother left and even he didn’t come but all of my husbands friends (who are really his family in a way) came. Family is not always blood but those that support you and are there for you. This day is about the two of you so invite those you want to celebrated with and don’t worry about anyone else.
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Expert January 2021
Katie · on August 25, 2020 at 1:33 PM
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Invite whoever you really want there. Don't worry about what anyone thinks, if anything, it reflects more poorly on them than you. My cousin got married recently and we have a huge family - she had no family there and only two friends. From what I understand, she had a wonderful day and was surrounded by people happy to have her join our family.
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June 2021
Dj Tanner · on August 25, 2020 at 1:35 PM
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I get what you’re saying completely! My FHs family is huge. His father is one of nine children and he’s super close with his aunts uncles and cousins. Due to issues that have happened, my mother will not be attending my wedding, and I will only have about 4 family members there. At first I was embarrassed thinking what am I going to say if people ask where my mother or grandmother is. The advice on here that I was given before was that people in general know better than to ask, and even if they do you could just say something simple like she wasn’t able to attend and leave it at that. As it was told to me, people generally won’t press the issue too much after that. As far as feeling embarrassed because you have such a little family there, I felt this way too but keep in mind you will have your new family there. And I’m sure they will be so delighted to welcome you into their family. Believe it or not sometimes families get competitive with each other, or caddy. You won’t even have to worry about any of that And you will be the bride so they will be so happy that they can have a new family member.
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VIP September 2020
Molly · on August 25, 2020 at 1:52 PM
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Don't invite anyone you don't wan't to be there. These people are all your family now. Maybe you can have your brother walk you down the isle. I don't think his family will judge you for not have a bunch of family and friends there, there will just be so excited to have you as a part of their family
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Devoted August 2020
Sherri · on August 25, 2020 at 1:56 PM
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This may be the time to explain your family situation to the future in laws.

But friends are often better than blood. And I mean that in the best way possible. Choose those that mean the most, that encourage, love and support you and FH! Those are who you want to be in attendance and party with you!
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Super January 2021
Sharonda · on August 25, 2020 at 4:26 PM
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I agree. Assuming you have a decent relationship with your fiancé’s parents, you should generally tell them about to your family situation before the wedding. That cuts off any questions at the wedding and they may be able to shut down any questions from their family at the wedding too. Either way, it’s your day and you have no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed. We don’t get to choose our families, but the friends who have become family are the best!!
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Expert September 2022
Allie · on August 25, 2020 at 4:38 PM
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You got this! Family isn't always defined by blood, and there's nothing saying you must invite your blood relatives. Your CHOSEN family will be there with bells on! And they will absolutely love supporting you and cheering you on as you marry your future spouse!!
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Devoted December 2021
Asia · on August 25, 2020 at 4:42 PM
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Beautiful. Thanks Allie
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Devoted December 2021
Asia · on August 25, 2020 at 4:44 PM
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Yeah. It’s just difficult because his family doesn’t live close so don’t have a tight enough relationship to openly discuss my own family issues with them. And I don’t wanna open up a can of worms if they decide to get some act right in 2021
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Devoted December 2021
Asia · on August 25, 2020 at 4:45 PM
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Definitely agree Sherri. I will try to do that some time in 2021 lol
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Devoted December 2021
Asia · on August 25, 2020 at 4:50 PM
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Hey molly,

Literally I don’t have a relationship with them. They are all distant. Like imploded after my granny’s funeral. I’ll be walking solo.
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VIP September 2020
Molly · on August 25, 2020 at 4:51 PM
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Oops I must have misunderstood. I thought you and your brother still had a relationship. Sorry
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