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Just Said Yes November 2019

Wedding style vow renewal

Sammi , on May 17, 2019 at 4:27 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

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So my husband and I eloped in 2017 before we had our son. We didn’t really tell a whole lot of people until after our one year anniversary (most family didn’t know, it’s a very long story mostly involving mil drama). Well we would like to do a vow renewal to celebrate with our friends and family. This was the plan all along but we got caught up in being first time parents and not having the money. I keep reading that you shouldn’t treat a vow renewal as a second wedding (so no fancy cake or wedding dress ect). Is this true? The only person who attended my elopement was my mom. We didn’t get any wedding gifts, no parties or anything. Would it really be wrong to treat a vow renewal as a “second” wedding? I put quotes around “second” because while I consider my elopement a real wedding, we didn’t do the traditional thing. Not that I would expect someone to purchase gifts for us, but would it be okay to at least register? Am I allowed to where my dream wedding dress (I was pregnant when I got married and didn’t even wear white). Please help!

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Latest activity by Thea, on May 17, 2019 at 9:14 PM

Devoted October 2019
Adara · on May 17, 2019 at 4:39 PM
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If you’ve never had a wedding I don’t see why you can’t go all out.
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Champion June 2019
Gen · on May 17, 2019 at 5:09 PM
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I absolutely think you can treat it exactly like a wedding, I think the only thing you shouldn't do is mislead your guests into believing that you weren't married before (which, it doesn't seem like you are). Refer to it as a vow renewal, and I think your invitations could say something like "you are invited to celebrate the marriage of Sammi and Husband" but not using the word "wedding" itself..... it is not a wedding, but it is a vow renewal / celebration of marriage!
Beyond that, I think you can do everything you would do at a normal wedding, as long as you aren't falsely leading guests to believe that it is. If that makes sense
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on May 17, 2019 at 5:09 PM
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You can absolutely go all out for a vow renewal, whether you had the whole wedding celebration or not the first time. It’s your day.
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Dedicated August 2019
Rachel · on May 17, 2019 at 5:09 PM
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My husband and I eloped in 2016 to be placed together for our job. It was a quick ceremony with none of our family/friends there as there was a time restraint. We’re doing a vow renewal this year and we’re absolutely treating it like a wedding. Gown, bridal party, first dance, everything! The only thing we’re doing as far as “good etiquette” goes is we’re calling it a vow renewal and not a wedding. All of our family and friends know and they’re still wanting to put together a bridal shower and bachelor/bachelorette party. I have people ask almost everyday where I’m registered. People will have their opinions, but it’s ultimately up to you. I say go for it!!! Do it up!!
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Dedicated August 2019
Thea · on May 17, 2019 at 9:14 PM
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I say you do you. I'm not sure the official etiquette but if you eloped personally I don't think it's that odd to register - some people do gift registries when they buy their first homes.
When my aunt and uncle celebrated their 30th anniversary they did a vow renewal in a church (they weren't originally married in one) followed by a big party at their house, and she wore a beautiful big poofy strapless dress. And they had done a wedding the first time around.
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Wedding style vow renewal

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