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Dedicated October 2013

Wedding Stress is Making Me Physically Sick!

wcugrad11, on March 7, 2013 at 9:54 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

My FH wants a rustic wedding. I like the idea but I could do without. We chose the colors navy and orange for our fall wedding before we decided on the rustic theme and we cannot change the colors now. My FH wants everyone to wear brown cowboy boots but REFUSES to wear khaki suits and I can't come up with any other colors. Also, cowboy boots do not even look good with my dress! Additionally, my fiancee works three hours away from me and we only get to see each other every few weeks, so I send him links to things I find, but he never likes anything I send him. My parents work 60 hours a week and are taking care of my younger siblings and they seem to have no interest in my wedding. I am also paying for EVERYTHING on a 28 hr/wk crap pay job! Finally, almost all of my BM's live hours away. I wanted my wedding to be magical, and now I just want it to be over. What should I do? I'm starting to regret just about everything I've chosen and just thinking about my wedding gives me a migrane!

9 Comments

Latest activity by Julia, on March 8, 2013 at 2:53 AM
  • rachel
    Devoted May 2013
    rachel ·
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    Its part of being engaged. i have changed my dress 4 times, changed the colors 3, changed the bridesmaid dresses from short to long, and changed from a party type of atmosphere for the reception to romantic

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  • Just Reenski
    Master December 2012
    Just Reenski ·
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    Why can't you change the colors? If your FH refuses to wear a khaki suit, tell him to find a suit himself. Your parents sound like they have their hands completely full, so you have to forgive them if your wedding isn't their top priority. Welcome to weddings -- no one will ever be as excited as you are. The sooner you accept that, the less disappointed you'll be with other people.

    If you are burnt out on wedding planning so much, postpone. Or get married legally but hold off on the big party. No one should get physically sick from wedding planning.

    And welcome to WW! I hope you'll update your avatar (the rings) to ANY unique picture we can more easily remember in the future! This post tells you how to do that: https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/welcome-to-the-weddingwire-forums-please-read-if-you-are-new/b433c40c1a62b96a.html

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  • W
    Dedicated October 2013
    wcugrad11 ·
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    I can't change the colors because several of my bridesmaids have already purchased their dresses. And I don't hold it against my parents that they have their hands full, they really do! It's just frustrating that I have no one to turn to. We've also paid a huge down payment on a venue for our date and we are expected to fork over an equally huge amount whether or not we have the wedding that day. I've tried telling my FH to pick his own suit/tux and he gets all defensive and says that's my job or that we should do it together...I just want to say "What the heck do you think I'm trying to do!?" I'm sorry. I know I'm probably just an annoying "ranter" but this seems to help a little.

    And thanks. I really like this site so far. I'm glad I joined it.

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  • Just Reenski
    Master December 2012
    Just Reenski ·
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    No, we all have to vent and at least you have these boards to do it now.

    It sounds like you may need to have a conversation with your FH about you guys being a team and taking this on. Does he know how frustrated you are, that it's giving you migraines? Perhaps there are other items he can take care of that mean something to him (food, DJ) that would take some load off you.

    But if he wants you to choose what he wears, then he needs to shut up an wear it. My FH really didn't give a crap, I got him his suit, it fit and he said "Okay."

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  • Alex
    Dedicated April 2013
    Alex ·
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    I know the feeling, I'm ready to throw in the towel with all the drama and stress this wedding has brought on. Its gotten to the point where if people bring up the wedding my head starts to instantly pound.

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  • Now Mrs.S
    Super August 2013
    Now Mrs.S ·
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    Regarding the suits FH wouldn't commit and I was getting impatient so one day while running errands I made him go to Men's Warehouse and look at the suit rentals and said "pick 1", it helped for him to see them in person and try them on.

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  • Maggie
    Dedicated April 2014
    Maggie ·
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    Our weddings sound really similar. We're having a rustic wedding and our colors are navy, lime, and orange. To make the rustic and the colors mesh, we're incorporating lace and burlap into the reception and even using dye to make orange and navy burlap.

    My girls are wearing navy dresses (if we can find one we like!) and boots. The guys are wearing button ups, jeans and boots. If jeans are a little too relaxed, would brown slacks and vests with no suit coat work? I've also seen brown slacks, vests, ties, and a kahki coat.

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  • W
    Dedicated October 2013
    wcugrad11 ·
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    Jeans are a little to casual for our wedding, but I wouldn't mind slacks and a vest with or without a coat. But would the brown clash with the navy? (I have no fashion sense or creativity whatsoever) In my mind it clashes, but then again I could be (and probably am) completely wrong...

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  • Julia
    Just Said Yes September 2013
    Julia ·
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    Ok, so granted this site is about seeking good solid opinions from women in similar situations. And we are all to one extent or another getting wrapped up in the details. And I appreciate SO SO SO much everyone and their awesome advice. So I'm going to offer some advice from someone who is now planning my second wedding.

    Chelsea sweetie, it doesn't have to be this way!! Your feelings are valid! Your perspective of feeling like this is too heavy of a burden is valid! If this is too much scale way back and hire a planner to put together something more simple that you can afford financially AND emotionally. OR admit you need more help from the people who also "want" this wedding. Love yourself, love being engaged, love your FH! Do only what you can do.

    Not to say I don't want to look purdy while I say them, but I keep telling myself that my wedding will be beautiful and special mainly because of the vows we exchange. You can do it!

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