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Patricia
VIP September 2016

Wedding stress from doing everything myself

Patricia, on June 30, 2015 at 3:07 PM Posted in Planning 0 19

My fiancé and I got engaged in February. We decided to plan a long engagement, so we are getting married September 2016. Pretty far away until people started telling me that I need to plan soon. I didn't do much planning. My fiancé's mother is from brazil as well as his family so she needed me to pick a date to give the enough notice to come. So I felt rushed to pick a venue and put down my deposit but I did it. My fiancé just started a new job after being out of work for quite some time so he hasn't contributed anything to the wedding. His parents and my father also haven't so I have been the only one saving for this wedding. On top of that stress I have to plan it all on my own because he has no interest. I know, it is far away and no one is as excited as me, I feel like I am carrying everything on my shoulders. I recently asked my maid of honor to go to Ikea with me to look at lanterns. I have never seen someone so miserable for the 10 minutes we looked. I honestly feel defeated.

19 Comments

Latest activity by CHERYL, on December 26, 2018 at 9:33 PM
  • Princess Consuela
    Master November 2015
    Princess Consuela ·
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    Have you talked to your FH about this?

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  • Emmy
    Master January 2015
    Emmy ·
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    Honestly, you'll have a hard time getting anyone excited for something that is 15 months away.

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  • OG Kathryn
    Champion May 2016
    OG Kathryn ·
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    I think FH should be active and help if he wants a big wedding.

    I know the feeling though i feel like my family/his arent that excited. We are, our friends are, but they dont seem to be. But then i think, wow its still far in advance so maybe they will change their attitudes as it gets closer.

    I have to plan it all myself as well, but its my wedding so i expected too. I cant afford a planner.

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  • annakay511
    Master July 2015
    annakay511 ·
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    I have also been planning everything myself. FH is a total man's man and is just not interested in wedding planning. He did get more interested in the food, cake tasting, his attire and our honeymoon but those were things that happened later on in the planning. TBH, no one will be excited as you are so don't expect your friends to get all excited about wedding chores and errands lol. Why don't you take a little break from planning? You have a venue and date secured. You don't really need to be doing much else at this point!

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  • Kristina
    Master September 2016
    Kristina ·
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    I am also getting married Sept 2016. I would say take it one step at a time. I am doing the planning myself because my Fiance is clueless and thays okay. That means I get to make the decisions myself. Dont stress breathe and take it one step at a time. Look at the WW checklist and you will have it broken down too.

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  • D
    Just Said Yes March 2016
    Deandra ·
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    Awww....I completely understand. My wedding is a destination wedding in New Orleans. Currently, I live in Houston while my fiance lives in Alabama right now and my parents are in Dallas. I feel like I am by myself with planning-financially, emotionally and physically. You are not alone. What I have found is that no one will be as EXCITED than you. However, take one day at a time and surround yourself with positive people who are happy for you. I also recommend getting/making a wedding binder so you have check things off and visually see all the things you have accomplished (with others or by yourself Smiley smile). After the wedding you can look back at it and remind yourself of all things you put into your fabulous day. Also to keep myself motivated I have a cute chalk board wedding count day on my fridge as well as cute sayings to help me through when I feel like I am doing this by myself. Good luck and keep your head up.

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  • Ms2Mrs
    Super September 2016
    Ms2Mrs ·
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    Hey date twin! Our weddings are actually not THAT far away, every vendor I contacted about a quote has pretty much emailed me back saying I need to book really soon because dates are booking up quick. Ex. Hair Salon I liked gave me a quote and said there is already someone looking at my date so I should decide quickly. Our weddings are 14 months away

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  • Kristina
    Master September 2016
    Kristina ·
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    @Ms2Mrs I am starting to think its a way to push us into booking vendors by saying its going to fill up for our date lmaoooo buttt maybe its true

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  • raerae84120
    Dedicated December 2015
    raerae84120 ·
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    Depending on where you live and time of the year, vendors CAN book up fast. I started planning mine in December when I got engaged for March 2016 and some photographers/venues/videographers were booked. I already booked all 3 months ago but it's honestly just to make sure I have the person I want.

    With that said, I'm doing it all on my own. No financial help from mine or his parents and he has a full time job but that goes to our everyday living expenses. I work 2 full time jobs so I'm putting everything from my 2nd job into our wedding fund. I'm also doing the planning myself (mostly at work haha) so I understand your stress.

    But But look at it this way. This is a celebration to spend your life with the love of your life. It'll be worth it.

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  • Monica SC
    Master October 2015
    Monica SC ·
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    My co-workers are the only ones super interested in anything. My MOH has had a lot of difficult stuff going on this year and finally things have settled down and we have been talking about the wedding until she recently when she started felling really ill. She had her gallbladder taken out today and I hope that was the problem. So..just me here too, but I am fine with it 99% of the time.

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  • MrsA
    Master October 2015
    MrsA ·
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    I pretty much doing my wedding on my own without any interest from FH. I just gave him a piece of paper and his first ever task....to gather the addresses for his friends he wants to invite. Let's see how that goes!

    What helped me and I'm sure many brides is making lists. I wrote down each month and placed what I wanted to accomplish that month and checked it off as I completed it. I really helps in those moments when you start to think about everything like flowers, and picking songs, and going over your ceremony/vows and you go into a panic. With a monthly list you can look and say I don't have to worry about that until (blank) month, just concentrate on this one.

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  • Patricia
    VIP September 2016
    Patricia ·
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    Thanks everyone for your posts and being understanding. You are all 100% right that it is far away and no one will be as excited as me. I knew that going into it but I didn't realize that even when I mentioned a small errand that my MOH would absolutely hate it. I guess Ill just put my bridal party in the same boat as my fiancé and just have them show up to the wedding lol. I just felt like I was planning a party for myself and that's it when its a big day for both of us. I'm glad I'm not alone and there are other people in the same situation as me.

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  • Emmy
    Master January 2015
    Emmy ·
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    Don't advertise here @cynthia

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  • OriginalRandi
    Master November 2015
    OriginalRandi ·
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    Yup, Cynthia, flagged.

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  • Cynthia Wolent
    Cynthia Wolent ·
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    My apologies. Disregard that! I am new here!

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  • C
    Just Said Yes January 2019
    CHERYL ·
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    I am so STRESSED cuz I have not seen my gown yet.and i am getting married on Jan 1. I cry about this. Cuz I dont know if it will fit. Panicked in texas
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  • C
    Just Said Yes January 2019
    CHERYL ·
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    What am I suppose to do?
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  • C
    Just Said Yes January 2019
    CHERYL ·
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    It sounds like i will not be seeing Any thing til the 31st. That is not fair to me. Idk if this is right?
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  • C
    Just Said Yes January 2019
    CHERYL ·
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    Is this right for me to just see my gown on the 31st .what happens if it doesn't fit me? Then wth do I do?
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