Wedding RSPV help?

Your wedding is still three and a half weeks away. It sounds like you made your due date far too early. Give him a couple of weeks to figure it out. You can do the rest of your seating chart and then either combine tables or not once your date gets closer.

Call and speak with them or leave a message and say something like "If we don't hear from you by Saturday, April 8 (or whenever, but at least give them 24 hours to get back with you), we'll mark you down as a no. Thanks so much!"

@StPaulGal, my RSVP date is five weeks in advance. People have different reasons for asking for a response when they do. I don't think three weeks is rude at all.

Anyway, OP, just say if you don't hear from them by this weekend, you'll assume they can't come.

If they had numerous reminders of the RSVP date, and if it was stated on the invitations, I would continue without them! If they contact you later, too late! You're already way past the date and especially as a couple planning a wedding themselves, you'd think they would be more considerate....

RSVP*

It sounds like you made your due date approximately 4 weeks ahead of your wedding, which is pretty standard. I echo @Katherine - call and leave them a message with a final date; if you don't hear back by then, mark them as a no. Just make it clear and friendly in your message.

My RSVP date is 5 weeks out because my venue requires final numbers a full month in advance.

Anyway, I'd call him and say I need to let my venue know asap my final numbers. Let me know by this day (pick like 2 days from now).

I would assume these people are coming. I don't think you would want them showing up only to not have enough spots for them because you combined tables. That puts you, the venue staff and this couple in a very difficult and awkward position.

I really just want to say, I really need to know now and you will understand why when you do wedding planning. If you can't make a decision right now, I'm going to mark you as a no?

She was the one who said she was coming to the shower and didn't show. It would be $500 for their family not to show... I just don't know what to do.

My venue and wedding planner said we should have the RSPV on April 1st. I gave them a month to send back the invite. Most did. This is now the last person because the other person just got back to my mom an hour ago.

RSVP***

Yeah, don't mention anything about "you'll understand when you're planning your wedding." Just say something like what I and PPs have suggested.

I agree with everyone else here but I will say for the person that said she made her rsvp date too early, she absolutely didn't! My wedding is June 17, I wanted my rsvp date to be June 1 but when I called me venue and caterer they said they need the final head count 30 days in advance. So I had to make my rsvp date for May 10 which gives me 7 days to get ahold of late responders

When do your vendors need you to start handing in final numbers? Our florist was the first vendor that actually needed a final headcount two weeks out (wanted to know the number of tables for centerpieces) and everyone else wanted final numbers a week out. Our RSVP deadline was a week ahead of the florist's due date, so we had a week to track everyone down. At the beginning of the week, I just asked people if they were going to be able to make it, letting them know our final numbers were due that week. DH had a few people not respond right away. I told him that if, midweek, he hadn't heard anything from those on his list of people to reach out to, he needed to use wording similar to Katherine's suggestion and leave a message with a specific date (a day or two later) by which we needed to hear from them, otherwise we'd need to count them as nos. I would hold off on using this language, though, until you're close to when you absolutely need to turn in your final numbers, though.

Haha sorry I meant RSVP. I typed fast. My anxiety is getting to me. I have 24 days left and still have a lot to do and a really hectic work schedule.

Anyhow, I kind of want to give them till Friday, but don't know what to do. My parents are furious about them. I'm the nice one, but my parents are strict and they are planning the tables with the vendor. We are now on the final countdown for the vendor/timeline with the planner. It's just frusterating.

They are handling the final numbers now.

I was nice to them in message and they kept changing their mind saying i'll let you know ASAP. I don't know how long ASAP is. Just venting.

I have been dealing with this too.

Let them know you need a firm yes or no by XX date. If by that date they don't get back to you - you will assume its a no and not include them in your final numbers.

If they're handling final numbers now, then you need to call these last two people, tell them you are sorry to keep bothering them, but your final numbers are due and you need to know whether they are coming. If they are wishy washy, tell them you absolutely need to know by tomorrow, but that is when you are handing in final numbers.

I would tell them that if they don't RSVP by a certain date, you're going to mark them as a no.

Hey Date Twin. I made my dead line for March 25th and then gave 5 days for last minute mailings. Started calling on the 31st of March. I left messages saying we would love it if you can make it to our wedding and will understand if you can't but I do need a answer by April 3rd , Or I'll assume that you can not make it. My venue needs final head count by April 8th so they can order the kegs and the food.

People are so inconsiderate sometimes. If she didn't show to the shower I hope she wouldn't do the same for the wedding.....that would suck.

I agree with PP just call one last time and say I'm sorry but my final count is do at the end of the week and I need your answer. If I don't hear back from you I will considerate it a no.

I'm sorry this might be UO but I know if I'm going to go to a wedding or not when I get the invitation. If I have something else that day I decide pretty much right away which one I'm going to attend. When somebody acts like this I feel that I am not a priority to them and that they truly don't want to come..... just my opinion.

I am getting married on same date and experiencing same issue. My venue wants final numbers now. And I gave April 1 as date. I'm sorry but I am counting anyone that can't commit as a no by this weekend and if I was you I would do the same. Bottom line is if this was something they wanted to do and a priority to schedule in, they would have made plans by now.