Wedding Proposal, private moment or with kids?

I'd personally want that as a private moment, but that's just me. Unless you were incorporating the kids into the actual planning/surprise of the whole thing and you needed their help in some way, I'd say speak from the heart and keep that moment as intimate as possible. Congrats and good luck!

I agree with Mrs. K. I'd personally want that moment as private and intimate as possible. You can always have your daughters join you later to celebrate but this is YOUR engagement and marriage and I think it should be between you and your future fiancee.

A private moment. a friend recently decided to ask his gf and she had always said she wanted him to ask her daughters permission first, so he did and the daughter flipped out and said no. now they both feel super awkward about it. the daughter is 11.

Private between the two of you , celebrate with the kids right after. Maybe sparkling cider or something so you can toast as a family

The actual proposal should be a private moment.

You can celebrate with the girls later in the day.

(Full disclosure: I am not a fan of group/public proposals as a general rule. There's something about them that feels... blah.)

Id have them join right after. That sounds super sweet though, good luck

Wow thank you all for your swift, succinct and sage advice. I really needed someone else's opinion on this.

I have already asked my girlfriend's parents for permission to marry her. I'm now putting together a photo slideshow to show my kids of the ten years they've spent with my girlfriend, then ask their permission also.

I'm actually much more nervous asking my kids than my future inlaws. :-)

Just popped in to say: you sound like a super thoughtful groom to be!! Congrats and good luck

This is too cute! i wish my FH would get on here and ask questions like this! lol

i agree with all the ladies tho, share this moment in private and invite the kids to join in the celebration afterwards.

best of luck!

Brian, I would suggest not asking your daughters' permission (what if they say NO?). Tell them you plan to propose and that you hope they'll help you celebrate.

Thank you for your advice, you do have a point. But as with my future inlaws, asking permission from my kids is something I have to do.

I want my kids to know their blessing means as much to me as anyone else's. I don't want them to look back on this and think they didn't have a choice, that may lead to resentment in the future.

As with one poster who mentioned about kids who freaked out and said no, the suspense is there. I can always go to Plan B - begging. ;-)

My FH proposed in Disney and my daughter was right there. It was super sweet. He asked me to be his wife and us to be his family. He also gave her a necklace. It was such a special moment and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

My only concern is that you are (from the sounds of it) taking a trip with your (hopefully) future wife and daughters, and celebrating New Years together - but you would then have to ask your girls to do their own thing to ring in the new year, while you propose? They may feel a little slighted by that (your youngest anyways, not sure if your oldest is too cool for parents yet )

I'd involve them some way, maybe in a way that has them involved but still allows privacy. Have them set her up somehow and excuse themselves. That way they can be a part of the plan and excitement, and not feel like they were just ushered into anther room because of her.

And don't forget, she's not just marrying you, she's accepting those girls as part of the package too, so I think it would be sweet to include them!

You're absolutely right and I was just thinking about the whole "my kids will be watching the fireworks by themselves".

So, in order to merge the idea of privacy and making it a family thing, I was thinking having the kids help me with the last minute preparations like sprinkling the roses in a path from the door to the balcony and turning on the candles to light a pathway. I said turn on the candles because I bought the battery operated kind. Activating the sprinklers in the presidential suite because of a fire would be a real bummer. ;-)

So after the preparations, I'll have the kids hide in the bathroom with a bouquet and champagne ready. So the private moment will be the walking into the room, speech, getting down on one knee and (hopefully) utter surprise and jubilation right when the fireworks go off (ugh talk about pressure and going on a tight schedule). Then, after maybe a minute to enjoy the moment, I call in the kids and we celebrate with fireworks and flowers, champagne and selfies. :-D

Brian, are you sure these girls are going to fit into this celebratory vision of rose petals, candles, and bouquets? I think it's a lovely idea, but unless you know your daughters will be happy (not accepting, but genuinely happy), I might tone this down a little. The one I'd worry about is the 14 year old -- girls at that age are notoriously moody and what seems great one day is terrible the next.

I appreciate the way you're thinking, and I don't want any unpleasant surprises to ruin this for you and a woman you obviously love -- and while it's nice you want to ask their permission, I'd be very careful with that. You are their father. You don't need their permission, but their blessing would be wonderful.

Hmm, you do make good points. I'll have to take that into consideration.

Perhaps the best way to decide how involved my kids will be during the proposal will to guage their reaction when I tell them of my plans.

You're really sweet to put so much thought in to this, but I think it's totally weird to have the kids involved at all. It should be a private, adult moment.

I know it is such a chore, but I just want it to be memorable for my girlfriend. As for my kids, I guess I'll have to do more thinking. Perhaps making a Plan A, B and C.

I think the kids should join you two. It's a family affair - You guys are becoming ONE. Plus the kids will feel super involved and special. If the girls disagree at that moment and for whatever reason say NO, you'll have a great story to tell your grandkids in 20yrs LOL! Good luck!!!!

ETA: You have been with your GF for 10yrs if your daughters were going to disagree they would have done it a long time ago - Especially the 14yr old - I would think...

I don't think it's weird to involve the kids. Afterall not only are you becoming man and wife. You're becoming a family. I was thrilled that FH was thoughtful enough to include my daughter. It wasn't just my big day it was or big day.