Wedding Postponement/cancellation

View Quoted Comment So are you postponing because of the money? Or because of the planning left? We didn’t pay anything except deposits (and my dress) until the last two months before our wedding.

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I'm confused. June of this year has already passed. If she's already married, why is this still an issue? If she's not getting married until June of 2019, again, why is that an issue?

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Ok, this is a little bit concerning. Planning a wedding is a huge undertaking, and for him to remind you that you'll "forever regret it" if you don't have a wedding and then not help you at all, and on top of that get upset that you've been engaged for two years? That's not at all helpful! It's just plain unfair.

How do you feel about postponing? Forget the guests and STDs for a minute- just think about you. What do you want?

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Thanks, because honestly since mid June I have done nothing but wish that this entire year, wedding, honeymoon, etc was over and done with. I don't think I am supposed to feel that way, but I wasn't 100% sure because I haven't planned a wedding, nor been a wedding (except when i was 5).

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She got married this year, and if I had known I would have postponed mine because of the amount of stress, both emotional and financial it's put on my parents and me.

My wedding date was set in August of 2017, and my sister decided at the end of April she would get married in June this year. I was saying I wish my mom had told her to wait instead of doing both weddings 3 months apart.

My heart goes out to you! This entire thread has my anxiety up. You have a lot going on. In my opinion having all of the "frien-dors" is scary, but you seem to be confident. Here's me being blunt: Screw your sister. She sounds selfish and entitled. Move on without her. I'm sure you love her and want her to be part of YOUR day, but dang girl. Doesn't seem like she has any interest. I sometimes wish I was in your boat with my FH not having an opinion. However, I can see that it is stressful to you and that needs to be addressed. You are supporting him and listening to all of his woes about work. He needs to extend the same to you and be present even if he is tired and overwhelmed. They are two totally separate situations and if he isn't going to support you now...what does the future bring? What happens if/when you have children? Is work going to be more important than making sure you aren't losing your mind?

I guess in summary... If this is taking more out of you than you have to give at the present moment it would be smart to postpone. Your health is not worth it. If you feel you can power through and accept all of the issues you face then persevere. In the end you have to do what is right for you! I wish you all the best in whatever path you take!

Wow your sister decided in April to get married in June? Not only is that kinda insane that’s also really inconsiderate to you when you had your date set so far in advance. Why aren’t your parents helping you out now that her’s is over and done with?

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She's in the process of moving out of state and needs there help with packing, moving, and some financial stuff therefore they are in the process of doing that.

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I want help planning our wedding. Whether it's this year, next year, or 12 years from now. I want someone to run ideas by who has an opinion and doesn't say that's fine, or yea okay....I honestly need help because I am ready to throw my hands up and just quit which isn't something I have ever done before. I just feel as though I am at my breaking point.

I know I'm going to sound harsh, but personally.... I would say to tell your sister if she can't respond she's cut. I would then wagoit 24 hours for her response (if she doesn't then she's out) and tell the bridesmaids to go on without her. I would also take the steps and do things myself for like an hour or two and just do what you like. If anyone has a negative thing to say later then tell them "you didn't help so" and just call it a day. Then go to the spa after the wedding 😂

I understand completely! Personally, I think it would be best to take this time to decompress & postpone. I've had to postpone too. Nothing stresses a person out half as much as family & our beloved FH's. The more you care, the more they can make you crazy- whether it's intentional or not. Fortunately for me, I'd only done word-of-mouth with my friends & family. I was so stressed about EVERYTHING that my mom finally approached me & told me I was going to kill myself with either a heart attack or mental breakdown if I didn't just calmly take a step back and realize that the timing wasn't right. My FH is fine with waiting, since it just helps us build a better resource pool for future expenses and options- like where we finally decide the wedding night & honeymoon will be. I've done the yelling (& crying) & trying to reason with my FH too. I finally figured out that I have to catch him when he's feeling chatty and just give him "A or B" options for a few things at a time if I want to preserve my sanity. It's worked out better in the long run, because you have a stressful process that you can totally tap the brakes on and KNOW with all certainty that you have the time necessary to settle most of those important questions way in advance. The most important thing is to make sure your fella knows how much his lack of interest is bothering you. It's okay to be busy, but not to overlook when your FW is at her wit's end & not feeling supported. If you don't make it clear, they don't get it... I had to spell it out for my fella before he started to understand & be more patient when I'd bring the subject up. My FH is also rather opinionated about a couple aspects of our wedding details too- and he didn't even realize it! I had to tell him that I would make a really ridiculous decision if he didn't give me at least a little input. Once he realized that there were a few things he cared about, it made a difference... but he still defers to me to make all the arrangements & decisions basically. *big gusty sigh*

Please don't give up! Just give yourself a break and let the current drama & dust settle before you end up feeling even more stressed & hurt- when there's a possibility that the timing just wasn't right (the way you hoped it would be).

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I took your advice and told him that I am feeling so overwhelmed and stressed out. Therefore, I wanted to discuss postponing the wedding. He said we could talk about it, and then followed up with if it makes you feel better we can, but you know I wont like it, but I'll be fine.

I even tried explaining that I have a lot of things going on in life other than the wedding which are a contributing factor as well. He responded by telling me that he was just being honest, and I am overreacting and overthinking everything about the wedding.

Any advice?

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He sounds so much like my FH it's scary. Guys tend to have such extreme tunnel vision in certain areas that it can make a gal crazy. It's the way they were made... just goal focused. We are the ones that see the Big Picture- with all the intricate details that impact everything.

Honestly, I'm not sure it's going to get better in that aspect. My fella will tell me that I'm doing the same thing with my reactions & ALL the time I spend obsessing because they truly have NO Idea how much is involved. (I'm planning a Princess Bride theme.) As petty as it sounds, I have fantasized about printing out all the hours I spend making decisions, so he could see how much time & energy I'm investing in the process so he has a clue what's involved... Pipe dream, lol, but you get the idea. If I ask him what he would prefer to wear, he will pause and talk to me about different options I suggest- because he's very fashion-conscious. If I ask about music, he does the same. It's only the things that are really interesting to him that make him pause... I don't want to add to your list, but have you considered using a notebook with different categories all separated out that need input from him and just handing it over to him like a "work project" that needs his input/approval? Or even just writing up an outline- form paper using the Planning Tools on wedding wire with all the categories you're dealing with- and how most of those categories need LOTS of time and lengthy attention before they can be marked off? He also needs to understand that we don't just wave a magic wand with each decision. We are at the mercy of other human beings with most of our planning too- which obviously can complicate things exponentially. Ugh! I swear that sometimes they just need to be clobbered over the head with something before it gets through. I tell Joseph some of the details I've decided to incorporate, and when he's feeling chatty he will actually try to visualize with me & starts getting onboard a little. This doesn't happen very often, but it's baby steps for us.

It's obviously going to be hard on both of you to know that your plans are falling through for now. The frustration will pass, the extra time you have & support from friends & family should help lift you up as the process continues- with a new goal date in mind. If he's going to be disappointed, make sure that he's aware that he is not the only one!

In the mean time, a suggestion for you is to try and have occasional date nights (whether it's eating out, a picnic- indoors or out, or just a candlelit quick & easy meal) when you can grab them- to remind the both of you about why you're getting married in the first place.

Id say you are not ready. This should be fun, not stressful. Its not fair to you!

So far the only part which has been fun has been wedding dress shopping and cake testing. Everything else has been very stressful.

I just wanted to say that we are in the same boat. I also have very little help and our day will happen in September.
I really think that if there is no hope that you will have more support in this month then i would hire someone or.. think about the new wedding date.
It is a difficult decision, and of course, your FM will be disappointed... but we are not professionals...and without help it will be hard. So, it is really up to you and your fiance.
Maybe you should also talk with your closest ones, maybe they have not understood how much you need their support.