Wedding Postponement/cancellation

If you haven’t signed any contracts how did you send out STDs? Do you not have a venue?

1. I do see how this is hard for sure. That's a lot of stuff family-related at once. It also sounds like things should be getting better since her wedding is over. I know moving is stressful (we just moved) but realistically it should only be the actual time moving.

2. Will this change? Is he changing jobs or lightening his work load in the future?

3. Can your MOH & other bridesmaids just send your sister texts/emails telling her when things are and if she shows up, she does and if not, she doesn't? She isn't the only BM so they can continue planning without her input. Or can you talk to your sister about her lack of communication?

4. I think this is a problem, you for sure need to have a venue & important vendors in place.

5. At least invites aren't out yet. Are a lot of guests traveling? My fear would be guests already booked hotels and flights and rental cars, and took off work.

If you notify all guests that got Save the Dates that you are pushing the wedding back another year, I think it's fine. As long as no contracts are signed and no deposits are put down, and people haven't taken off work and scheduled travel plans.

I am getting married in September too!! I am doing most of the stuff on my own. My future sister in laws live 90 mins away and will not come down to help me. My sister has two kids and her husband works construction so he is gone long days. My one friend is clueless when it comes to making things and my other friend is prego and is on bed rest. I have been working on wedding stuff 1 hour every night. If I am in a good mood and enjoying what I am doing I might work on stuff a little longer.

I think you and your FH should sit down and talk about how you both feel.

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We are good friends with the venue owner. Therefore, no contact.

I think you could secure everything for a september wedding if you aren’t too picky. Thinking of a ceremony at a park or other non-traditional wedding place, cater from one of your favorite restaurants and not someone who is a “wedding caterer,” find a photographer who does it as a hobby and not a career, etc. But you need to start ASAP. If I were you, and if you want this wedding to happen in September, then don’t ask others what they want. It doesn’t seem like they care much anyway. Pick out your own venue, food etc without caring about the opinion of your sister or whoever (except maybe your mom if she is paying for it all). I will say that my sister mentioned having a wedding soon after mine (also september), and my mom begged her to wait until later next year so she can recover. It’s a huge financial stress.

What about your other vendors? Just because they are a friend doesn't mean you shouldn't have a contract with them.

Honestly... I think you should still get married in Sept. If that means you have a smaller then expected wedding then fine. But to prolong the stress I dont think would be good for you or the relationships involved. So get as much done in the time you have left, and let it be done and enjoy your marriage!

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1.) My sister is very dependent on my parents for everything. My mom spent the entire week at her place helping her pack boxes since her husband is unable to help because he's in another state and military.

2.) Unfortunately, no. He has a big job he's working on and it's not scheduled to end for another year at least.

3. They do contact her directly, but she doesn't respond. She doesn't even respond to me so therefore her communication skills are lacking. The only person she communicates effectively with is my mother.

4. The contracts are NOT stressing me out actually I am glad nothing is in writing at this point. The venue is booked (friends) , the caterer is booked (family friend) , my uncle is my photographer, my aunt is a cosmetologist (hair/makeup), etc.

5.) We haven't sent out any information in regards to room blocks or any of that. There are a few traveling, but not many.

I mean I hate to postpone or cancel, but I honestly do not see anyway around it at this point without having someone help.

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The contract has been drawn up, but not signed at this point. All of my vendors are family members, family friends, or very close friends of mine.

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Will the venue owner be able to fill your slot at this point, without losing money? I own a small bakery and if someone cancelled on me with short notice, I would have missed out on booking another client. Not the same scale but you get what I mean.

If you already have all your vendors, what is really left to do?

Have you thought about eloping and going in a nice honeymoon?

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Everything is planned, venue (friends own it) Caterer (Mom's friend) Phototgrapher (My Uncle), Hair Makeup (my Aunt), other than a cake everything is secured. I wish my mom had begged my sister not to get married in June considering mine date was picked in August last year, but she has a hard time telling her no. Honestly, my STD's wouldn't have been sent out if she had told me prior to me sending them she was getting married this year. It's WAYYY too much to deal with.

Whew, this really does sound stressful! You're in a good place with these options, considering you don't have a signature on anything yet.

Have you spoken with your fiance about postponing? What does he think?

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Daily, but my FH has known me since I was 10 and keeps reminding me if we do that I will forever regret it since I always wanted a wedding.

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I have spoke with him. He just gets upset because we have been engaged for 2 years. I even tried explaining that I am so overwhelmed and he doesn't get it. He says he wants to help, but when it comes down to it he's like you got this.

View Quoted Comment If hes oushing it then he needs ti be more involvedd. Id sit him down and have a serious talk with him and let him know extremely stressed you are without his help. Sorry you are going through this

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For one we haven't paid for anything besides what little bit of a deposit was required.

I am sorry you are feeling so frustrated. I am sure there's a lot more going on that your post reveals but I can only go by what you wrote, so here goes.

1. I'm not sure what your parents have to do with anything. It's your wedding and you and FH should be planning it. Are they paying for it or are you? If your sister already got married, what are they still dealing with? Why does she and her husband need help moving? Are you talking physical help or financial help? Now, regarding FH's help, I agree with you on this one. I think it's BS for the other person in the relationship to not help with the planning. It's natural for one person to take more control of the planning. In some couples, perhaps one person prefers doing everything themselves. However, if you weren't happy with his lack of participation, you should have had a sit down with him and discussed how you feel. My husband certainly participated in decisions but I did the bulk of it. When we discussed it, he said, "You do this for a living (I am a corporate event planner), I just don't know what to do. Just make a list and I'll take care of it." So, I made a list of tasks and guess what, he took care of it. Sometimes it just requires a discussion, not about the wedding per se, but about making decisions about anything together. It's a little overdue but never too late.

2. If you haven't signed a single contract, how could you have sent a STD?

3. Seems like you need to have a discussion with your sister. After talking with her about why she is not communicating with the other BMs, ask them to please go ahead and make plans and your sister will either show up or she won't. She's already married, so it's not as if she's involved with her own wedding. What's the issue here?

If you are feeling so frustrated and un-prepared for your wedding, it's probably best to postpone it until you can come to an agreement with your husband over planning, and have a heart to heart with your parents and sister. Wedding planning can be stressful but should generally be fun and joyful. If it's making you miserable, you really need to look inward and solve the issues that are getting you so upset first.

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My fiance and I helped do some work on their house in exchange for the venue. Therefore they weren't worried about a contract since no $ actually exchanged hands.