Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Beachbride85
Expert October 2015

Wedding planning is making me miserable

Beachbride85, on September 15, 2015 at 3:09 PM Posted in Planning 0 12

I don't know how other brides do it and still manage to enjoy life. I work a full time job and a per diem job as a nurse and I feel beyond stressed out about not having time to plan this thing. It's a destination wedding so I feel like I have a lack of control and I'm starting to resent FH for not feeling the pressure. I care way too much about what other people will think or say about our wedding and he doesn't care at all. It's making us bicker because i have been so uptight and basically annoyed with every aspect that goes into it. I think I'm lacking the "bride" gene. Also, it's not like there's things I can delegate because it's things only I can do like respond to emails pick flowers pick centerpieces go to fittings buy accessories etc. nothing is DIY so I feel like all the pressure is on me. Not to mention I don't trust anyone else would do things to my standards. I never considered myself to be a control freak but now that I don't have time to do things in 39 days!

12 Comments

Latest activity by Nicole, on September 16, 2015 at 10:49 PM
  • Christina
    Master October 2017
    Christina ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    First of all - HUGS Smiley smile

    I'd suggest taking a break. Maybe for one day this weekend - or even the whole weekend - doing NOTHING related to the wedding. Can you spend some time with your FH relaxing / doing something you enjoy? Going back into planning feeling refreshed and connected with your FH could make all the difference!

    • Reply
  • Nicole
    VIP June 2017
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I agree with @WWChristina. It sounds like you said your wedding is in 39 days, so I can understand the pressure you're under with the time constraint, but you need to find a minute to recharge. Can you get a massage? Or even just take an hour in a hot bubble bath with some wine and relaxing music? Go to a park and just sit and people watch or feed ducks at a pond or something? I love taking myself out for a light lunch and a movie sometimes. I'm not sure what your situation is or what's available to you, but try to just forget about the wedding for a couple hours.

    • Reply
  • pinguino
    VIP September 2015
    pinguino ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Wedding planning is stressful for sure. What I have done in the last month or so is to try to keep one day a week wedding planning free. Have a date night with FH, or a girls night with a friend, or cuddle up on the couch with your pet (if you have one) and watch a movie for some alone time.

    • Reply
  • Chrissy
    VIP September 2015
    Chrissy ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    If it helps, I felt that way also and now that its over I feel awesome!! You will get through it. The week of will be the craziest week ever, then it will nothing but happiness when you get your life back. The relaxing feeling comes as soon as you are on the plane to the honeymoon. Hang in there, you will make it!

    • Reply
  • Courtney CtoS
    VIP August 2016
    Courtney CtoS ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    This is one of the top most stressful events in the average person's life but it is also supposed to be one of their happiest. It sounds like you're almost there though! Delegate if need be and don't forget to take small bits of time for yourself Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Joe
    Devoted September 2016
    Joe ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Many of the things you mention could be handled rather efficiently and effectively by others, especially if you have an overarching vision for your wedding and don't need to be "down in the weeds" with all of the planning. Enlist your fiance's help to respond to emails (this seems like a no brainer, especially if you've included him from the very beginning). Consult with a florist on in-season flowers and tell her/him your vision for the centerpieces, but let them design them (they've done it a lot more than you have and chances are high they'll do a great job). Buying accessories sounds like a fantastic MOB/MOG/BM task - ask them to pick the items up for you and venmo them the money (if nothing is DIY this should be simple, right?).

    It really sounds like you're taking everything on your shoulders here when it doesn't have to be that way. Slow down and breathe. Recharge one afternoon with a massage. Delegate tasks and manage expectations. You're going to stress yourself out too much and lose sight of what's really important here - the marriage of you and your fiance. Good luck!

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Wedding planning has BECOME stressful because you all believe pinterst and the media that tells you if you don't have bridesmaid proposal boxes, cute signs everywhere, artisanal everything, after parties, huge bridal parties and four ideas that no one has even thought of yet, your wedding will suck.

    Lower your standards; no one is going to notice that the centerpieces are not exactly right; no one will appreciate that you sweated blood over the place cards. Trust me on this.

    Get the basics in place, don't make wedding planning your second job, and breathe in and out. lots.

    And wine helps too.

    • Reply
  • D
    Expert November 2015
    DRGCAS ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Before we started planning for our wedding, my FH and I promised to not fight over wedding related stuff. We have a lifetime ahead of disagreements. Weddings are only one day. An important day, but still one day. So far, we have not had any fights.

    Celia is 100% right!! I've stayed away from all the pinterests pages and blogs. I'm planning my wedding as if it were a big family gathering, of course a nicer one. As long as we have great food, great music and free alcohol, nothing else matters as much.

    Take a day off from wedding planning. Go out on a date and do not discuss wedding planning at all.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Custer
    Expert June 2016
    Mrs. Custer ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I agree I am so stressed. It has taken over my lifeSmiley sad it is so bad I forgot to pay my light bill yesterday and it was almost cut off. I am taking a break for the rest of the week

    • Reply
  • FutureMrsD.
    Super October 2017
    FutureMrsD. ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    That's why I wanted to do a 2 year engagement....it just seems so stressful, and I stress alot! I know I'll stress anyways but I feel a 2 year planning will help me from having a total breakdown. I'm not creative or diy at all so it's going to be interesting to see how my wedding turns out, definitely nervous. I agree with christina, if you feel super stressed just take a step back and relax. A weekend away from wedding planning will help, go out and do something fun with your FH or even your friends (Girls night!) We are all here for you though!

    • Reply
  • Jemy
    Dedicated October 2015
    Jemy ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I'm right there with you. I seriously don't know how you ladies go through this for a year. I'm ready for it to be over and I barely started planning in July.

    • Reply
  • Nicole
    VIP June 2017
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    @FutureMrsD. - That's also exactly why I wanted a longer engagement (and why I (we) started researching and getting some good ideas of what we want and were we would like to be married even before he's asked - he slipped last night and told me I'd have a year and a half to plan which means Dec or Jan Smiley smile Smiley smile Smiley smile.

    Not to mention the fact that I'm finishing my Bachelor's degree and as of right now, we're getting married the week after graduation. I need to be super organized and efficient to make it out alive.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

WeddingWire article topics