Wedding Planning and Depression

I suffer from anxiety/depression. The wedding has definitely made me more anxious but I wouldn't say it's affected my depression. The thing that helps me get through it is just talking talking talking to FH about every thing. Something makes me anxious and I immediately talk about it. It's the only thing that calms me down. I'm sorry if you're feeling more depressed during this time I completely understand depression and how awful it is to be going through something that you want to feel joyful about but can't. Just remember that it doesn't mean that you love your FH any less or are excited to be marrying him. Find some things to help you destress like bubble baths and talk to your FH.

Although I am unable to comment on the clinical aspect of depression, I would say that yoga certainly helps with anxiety relief.

Definitely talk to your psychiatrist about reevaluating your meds. Sometimes one stops working as well, even with an increased dose, and you need to add or even switch to another.

Also, make sure you get enough exercise, and maintain your vitamin D levels. Both will help boost the effects of your antidepressants. Also, they've recently discovered that many people with depression can't process folic acid properly, and that 15 mg. of L-methylfolate a day can help. Here's a link to the cheapest source I've found for it: http://www.methylpro.com/product/5-MTHF-15mg-90caps Since it has no side effects, it may at least be worth a try.

Finally, remember that a wedding is simply not worth a year of depression. Your FI should be responsible for at least half of it. (And I mean he should be totally responsible for certain parts of the wedding, not that he should "help" you after you've organized exactly what needs to be done.) Simplify as much as possible. (For example, you could cut down the guest list, or choose a restaurant as a reception venue so you're dealing with one vendor instead of many for food, alcohol, and venue.) If anyone offers help, accept it even if it means giving up some control. For example, at my first wedding, my mother-in-law offered to take care of the flowers, and I happily accepted even though I might have chosen different ones than she did.

I understand what you're going through. Wedding planning is actually my outlet, so I might not be the best resource. My work is very stressful and my schedule is constantly changing. Sitting down and looking at wedding vendors, wedding videos, etc. helps distract me from all of the anxiety I have from my job.

Try and add fun things that you like to do that will keep you from thinking about the wedding. Go out on a date with your FH and make it a rule to not talk about the wedding.

Double post

I moved states about five months ago, started a new job, and moved in with FH. I will say this. The wedding planning was finally the catalyst for find a new therapist in this new town. And I also second the talking to FH about things. Sometimes I have a hard time doing that because he doesn't really understand it, but him being there and being my support quiets the negative thoughts that crop up.

Also thank you for posting this thread. I hope you feel better knowing you aren't alone, and it always takes strength (even online) to talk openly about mental health. I wish more people did that.

I'm a huge yoga lover! My anxiety hasn't surfaced (yet), I'm still 11 months away from our big day. Meditation helps and keeping things in perspective may help too! I'm not a huge fan of meds for depression because they tend to mask symptoms but do what you need to but find a natural way to help your symptoms (working out, yoga, meditation, journaling, etc).

I find walking to really help me - my stress is more related to school/my father's illness/my crappy job, so for me thinking about the wedding is a relief - it will be here in May and I'll be done with school, my dads treatment will be completed, and I will hopefully be on the hunt for something better. I'm not on meds; I was a few years ago but I've largely managed my depression. I am thinking about going back for therapy after the new year, though.

I have anxiety issues but not so much depression. What I usually do is just envision the actual wedding day and how beautiful and fun it's going to be and remember that whatever I'm freaking out on is just to Make that vision an reality.

Wedding planning makes me FEEL depressed although I know it's just anxiety. Like @Silesha, I just try to constantly remind myself of why we're doing this and of our vision.

Thanks, all. I've been talking with FH. It helps, but it's nice to know I'm not the only one who sometimes struggles. I did recently up my D (it helps with my ADHD, as well as depression). Getting to visit my family for Christmas helped a lot.

I've tried the no meds route, all natural, and found my quality of life went to crap. It cost a lot more, and I had more *event* related flashbacks.

@Sunni W, I hadn't thought about the problem being anxiety.

I come on here a lot to help distract me. I tend to buy stuff when I'm depressed so I try not to do too much planning when it gets bad I would end up with too much random stuff.

I'm totally relating. The biggest thing that helps me is just talking it out with my FH or MOH, who happens to be my roommate. They both help lighten my loads.

Do you get seasonal affective disorder (SAD). I have clinical depression, but it gets far worse in the winter if I don't actively stay on top of it. I have to just fake it til I make it to get to winter sometimes. It's dark by 5:30 and I just want to hibernate. Is it possible that wedding planning is just coinciding with the seasons?

@Ashley C. I have clinical depression. And I hear ya about SAD. I have a sun lamp I use for keeping the rest of me in sync.