Wedding Planning 101

Woo!! Sorry I won't be able to contribute much since I feel I'm pretty clueless too :/

Thank you for this

Natasha, that's why I did it, I see threads and I'm like wth is a....? Lol, hopefully we get some much needed info.

Always, always, always start with a budget. What you can spend, and HOW you are going to get those funds. Until that is solid, nothing else matters. You may find the perfect venue, but how are you going to pay for it? If you have to chose between two and choose the more expensive one- you'll end up getting screwed because you can't afford a decent DJ.

Do some general research about prices for things in your area- because alot of wedding items send people into sticker shock. Realize when a vendor charges a ton of money, it's not because they are greedy. They do alot more than you realize. A DJ doesn't just show up and play music. A photographer doesn't just show up and take pictures. There is skill, work behind the scenes and hours spent on your behalf that you willnever know about.

Exactly what Meghan said... I would start with a TON of research, find out who does what and how much the going rate is in your area. Set a budget, prioritize what is important to you....use the budget tool, not so much as to see what a wedding should cost but how to divide your budget. DO YOUR HOMEWORK FIRST!!!!!

I'm gonna do definitions:

buck and doe

- it is a Canadian thing and very expected-

It is a big party that happens BEFORE the wedding to help raise money to pay for the wedding. You put together games, food, and drinks (like a fair) and you sell tickets for people to come to the party. You spend a couple hundred to throw the party but can get a profit of a thousand or so depending on how many participants you get and how enticing the event is. Some businesses will gift prizes to the couple to give away.

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/buck-and-doe-theme/75cbdf42f7843275.html

pomander or kissing balls

Kissing balls can hang from the ceiling - or from a chandelier - usually with mistletoe attached. Kissing balls are an alternative to baskets of flowers or scattering rose petals. Many churches will not allow fresh rose petals to be dropped, since they can damage carpet. They can also used to mark the aisle to the ceremony for an outdoor wedding.

Or balance on a vase.

1000 paper cranes

Thousand origami cranes is a group of one thousand origami paper cranes held together by strings. An ancient Japanese legend promises that anyone who folds a thousand origami cranes will be granted a wish by a crane, such as long life or recovery from illness or injury. The crane in Japan is one of the mystical or holy creatures (others include the dragon and the tortoise), and is said to live for a thousand years. In Japan, it is commonly said that folding 1000 paper origami cranes makes a person's wish come true. This makes them popular gifts for special friends and family.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thousand_origami_cranes

Kissing bells

Bells to ring to make the couple kiss

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/need-poem-kissing-bells/4f8e28e03d4f38d1.html

Alternatives to clinking glasses to kiss

http://www.blissweddings.com/library/kiss.asp

Symbolic Act - symbolic ceremonies

Rose Ceremony: A simple unity ceremony where the bride & groom exchange roses. Other variations: the families exchange roses, the bride and groom exchange roses with their families, the bride and groom exchange roses, then present their mothers with the roses

Wine Ceremony: The bride and groom each take a carafe of wine and pour it into a single glass, which they both drink from.

Celtic Oathing Stone. "The couple holds or puts their hands on a stone during their vows to "set them in stone"

hand blessing ceremony: Bride & groom hold each other's hands while a blessing if said http://www.weddingministerct.com/wedding-hand-blessing-ceremony.htm

an interesting thing to do/have

Truce Bell. A bell is rung on the wedding day, the happiest day of the couple's lives and then is placed in a central location in the home. If the couple starts to argue, one of them can ring the truce bell, reminding them both of that happiness & hopefully ending the fight

Cord of Three Strands: The cord of three strands symbolizes the joining of one man, one woman, and God into a marriage relationship. http://www.godsknot.com/CordOfThreeStrands.aspx

Handfasting: Celtic wedding rituals. It involves the tying of hands together to symbolize the coming together and remaing tied together.

http://www.officiantguy.com/handfastingceremony.html

http://www.wedd101.com/bxh-outline-wedding-ceremony.html

gives a nice outline, and some examples of symbolic ceremonies.

http://www.wedd101.com/bx-symbolic-acts.html

Types of bustles

Some bustles can be as inexpensive as $20.00, others may run $200 or more. The more intricate a bustle is, the more it will cost. Other cost factors include the length of the train, and the fabric being used. A cathedral train will prove more difficult to bustle securly, as will delicate fabrics such as lace or silk organza that can tear easily.

http://www.projectwedding.com/wedding-ideas/bustles-for-your-gown

Definitions of dress silhouettes

A-line, Sheath, trumpet?

Sweetheart, boat, scoop, surplice?

Crumbcatcher, boning, ruching?

Empire, Basque, Drop, Princess?

All this and More!!!

http://www.weddinglds.com/modest-wedding-dresses

Wishing Well - at your shower

Traditionally, it was meant to help build the couples stock of small household items. It can be themed.

• Kitchen...small gadgets, such as teaspoons, measuring cups, and oven mitts.

• Bath...bath soaps, guests towels, or a night light.

• Garden...seed packets, gloves, hand tools, kneeling mat.

• Travel...luggage locks, luggage ID, journal.

• Handyman...screwdriver, hammer, duct tape.

You can decorate a basket to look like a "wishing well" and everyone puts their gifts inside.

http://www.ehow.com/about_5175624_bridal-shower-wishing-well_.html

http://www.chiff.com/articles/wishing-well.htm

Ceremony - Seating

Traditional Wedding Etiquette Seating Option: The general wedding etiquette rule of thumb with grandparents is to seat them as they arrive. This prevents them from having to stand longer than would be comfortable. This also prevents the hassle of figuring out who walks with whom, when and where they sit when they get there.

Modern Wedding Etiquette Seating Option: Seat your mother's parents first, then your groom's mother's parents, then your father's parents, then the groom's fathers parents. Wedding processionals and seating always favor the bride and then the maternal side of both families.

Polite and Modern Wedding Etiquette Seating Option: If you really want to have your grandparents walk before the wedding processional, a polite seating option would be to seat the your grandparents first (both sets) then seat both sets of the groom's grandparents. This is a spin off of the modern wedding etiquette option for seating that is very popular.

Christian Wedding Processional.

The guests are seated.

The groom, best man and Officiant enter by using a side door. They all stand facing the guests.

An usher escorts the grandmother(s) of the B to their seats.

An usher escorts the grandmother(s) of the G to their seats.

An usher escorts the mother and father of the G to their seats.

An usher escorts the mother of the bride to her seat. Her father is also seated, if he is not walking her down the aisle.

Processional music begins.

The bride's mother (and father) stand(s).

All the guests stand.

The ushers walk down the aisle (or escort the bridesmaids) and stand next the groom and best man and then face the guests.

The bridesmaids walk down the aisle.

The maid and/or matron of honor walk(s) down the aisle.

The ring bearer walks down the aisle.

The flower girl walks down the aisle or the flower girl and ring bearer walk down together.

Processional music changes and/or the volume increases.

The father of the bride escorts the bride down

Google is your best friend. Before you ask the ladies here just type in whatever it is you are looking for and most likely you will find it.

Here is a list of websites that have served me well in planning:

First I'll start with the obvious:

ebay.com

amazon.com

dollartree.com

craigslist.com

not so obvious:

save-on-crafts.com

orientaltrading.com

smartyhadaparty.com (I LOOOOVE this site)

www.gandgwebstore.com

www.modernvaseandgift.com

DIY invites

www.lcipaper.com

www.walmart.com

www.michaels.com

DIY flowers/cheap bouquets

www.bunchesdirect.com

samsclub.com

if self catering:

www.lionsdeal.com

www.webstaurantstore.com

Order of Service

Processional

The entrance of the bridal party “All Rise” as the Bride enters

Welcome

An important moment to welcome everyone on your behalf and let your guests know how grateful you are for their presence.

Presentation of the Bride

“Who presents this woman to be married to this man?” The father/presenter responds “I do.”

Opening Comments / Reading

About 7-10 minutes in length. Please refer to the “readings” section for a brief description and samples. Our main objective is to set the tone, and begin the ceremony by reflecting on something meaningful to you. This is a great opportunity to tell your story to your guests.

Declaration of Intent

“Do you stand here now to give yourselves to each other in marriage?” You respond “We Do.”

The Vows

lead you in a “repeat after me” format, going very slowly. If you decide to write your own, please use samples as a guideline for length and content. (Another reading could follow the vows.)

The Rings

“Do you give this ring as a symbol of your faithfulness to these vows?” Groom answers “I do” and repeats a simple ring vow (see “Ring Vow” section). The Bride responds to the same question with “I Do” followed by the same vow.

The Kiss

Pronounce you Husband and Wife.. you kiss!

Signing the Registry

Three documents to be signed by the Bride and Groom and two witnesses. Be sure to have some music playing, relax and “Smile... it’s a photo-op.”

Closing Comments

This is another opportunity for a short blessing or reading. Officiant thanks the guests again for being there. Present you as “Mr and Mrs...” Tip: Have an upbeat song to go out to!

The Recessional

Bride and Groom exit with Bridal Party, & first row of family follow

Helpful blogs

cheap chic weddings

broke ass bride

As far as setting a budget- first thing is to figure out what you realistically can afford! How much can you put into savings? How much do you have in savings?

A few national averages to get you started. Your area may be higher or lower.

Photographer- $2000

DJ- $****

Flowers: Bridal bouquet $150, Bridesmaid bouquets $100, floral centerpieces $100-300

Dresses can be all over the place- but I think average is about $1200- but you can find them considerably lower and a heck of a lto higher.

Venue- varies too much.

Catering- varies too much.

Invites- $2-6 each, but postage is what kills you, because you don't plan for it. $0.64 to mail each one - Then, $0.44 for the RSVP envelope.

Hair/Make up- $150

Don't forget linen purchase/rental.

See the ave cost of a wedding for your area.

http://www.costofwedding.com/

Invitations!!!

Invites 6 - 8 weeks

Destination wedding invites 8 - 10 weeks

STD 6 - 9 months before

Destination or holiday weekend STD 9 - 12 months before

*highly suggest STD if destination or holiday weekend wedding

RSVP = 12 - 18 days before your counts are due to the venue (so no more than a month before your wedding date)

Example: count due Aug 5th

rsvp return by July 20th

(2 weeks to track them down)

count due July 30th

rsvp July 15th ... hopefully they drop them in the mail and you have them by July 21 and you have 9 days to track people down....

RSVP date no more than 30 days before wedding, the closer the RSVP date to the wedding, the more accurate head count you will get. I had people changing their minds 3 days before the wedding.

How to Address

http://www.wedalert.com/content/articles/address_invitations.asp

Wording examples

http://www.invitationconsultants.com/samplewording.aspx?p_subcategory=1

Number the rsvps!

Take your guest list and number the couples, then number the corresponding rsvp. A little pencil number on the back of the RSVP will help a lot if anyone forgets to write their name... AND it makes it easy to find them on your list if you are tracking them all in one location. You can just put them in numerical order as they show up.

How to Word an RSVP - Dinner choices

We look forward to celebrating with you!

Please respond by May 10, 2012

We have reserved ____ seats in your honor

__# Accepts with pleasure

__ # Declines with regret

Name ___________________

chicken / beef / vegetarian (circle one)

Name ___________________

chicken / beef / vegetarian (circle one)

Adult only reception

**use what you need, delete what you don't ***

I can NOT stress this enough..,everyone says the best way to keep your budget under control is cutting the guest list..it is SO true. I wish I had been more cut throat in the beginning..as you start buying more and seeing how much things will cost (like it becomes more real) I wish I had not sent STDs out to everyone I did..but it's not a huge deal, just something I would have done differently..

**related, STICK up for yourself and FH..it's amazing how people are eager to spend other people's money. (ie parents adding to the guest list or brothers insisting on getting a limo). Remember it's just one day, ask yourself:"will adding X or Y enhance how special the day is? if NO, then really consider cutting it out of the budget.

These are the most important things I've learned about the planning process!