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Beginner August 2024

Wedding Party Trouble

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Melanie, on January 13, 2021 at 12:16 PM

My Fiancee's sister has assumed that her husband and her AND their cousin and her boyfriend are going to be part of our wedding party, (the cousin and boyfriend because they are a really close-knit family and are close-ish in age (as in 21 years old, 20 years old and 18 years old) I do not get along with my fiancee's sisters husband (his brother-in-law). I never have. I do not want him to be a part of the wedding and I was not planning on having his sister be part of my bridesmaids either. We are not getting married for a couple years yet but I don't know what to do. I know the groomsmen are my fiancee's choice and the bridesmaids are mine. I do love his sister and cousin very much and his cousin's boyfriend and I are good friends but his brother-in-law and I do not like each other, I also only wanted a MOH and 2 bridesmaids, which would go perfectly with the BM he picked out and his 2 groomsmen he already has picked out. I honestly don't see an issue with having them not be a part of the wedding but my fiancee gets along with his B-I-L very well so I am not sure what I should do in this situation

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Master November 2020
Kristen · on January 13, 2021 at 4:26 PM
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Having read some of the other posts I do agree I would not ask this early on rather wait closer to the wedding. In regards to the sister in law like others have said it is her fault for assuming so maybe just say that you are not going to choose until closer to but you are thinking to have a few of your best friends as the members. Now if she assumes she is your best friend then you need to put your foot down. She may be hurt but if she is mature enough she will get over it. I was not asked to be in two wedding parties because my friends chose to keep it just family and while I would have loved to have been apart of it I do not care as I am/was blessed to share their day. May just sprinkle that seed now about your plan to have just friends and then closer too officially ask. If you grow closer to her then you can ask if you want.
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Expert October 2017
Florida Marlins · on January 14, 2021 at 2:35 PM
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Tell her in private there is a misunderstanding. No way no how would I have people in my party out of obligation!
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