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Tiffany
Dedicated October 2020

Wedding party titles

Tiffany, on July 7, 2020 at 11:15 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 1 28

Edited to add....I am not seeking advice if I should or should not do this, I am asking a very specific question. Title suggestions only please!

I'm working on our wedding website and on the page where you introduce the wedding party. It has a customer role option but I'm struggling to think of a title for this.

A friend of mine has offered to pay for our cake. She's a friend and a coworker. We aren't close like doing stuff together very often and we don't talk that much but we both know that each of us would do anything for the other. What would I put her title as? She's helped a lot in other areas of planning too and I really want to give her some dedication and add her to the site.

28 Comments

Latest activity by Tiffany, on July 8, 2020 at 2:01 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    If she’s not in the wedding party, I wouldn’t put her. You should write her a heartfelt thank you card and maybe give a small gift, but I don’t think she needs to be mentioned with the bridal party.
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  • Tiffany
    Dedicated October 2020
    Tiffany ·
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    That isn't really what I was asking. I'm asking for advice on what to put her title as. But thanks for replying.

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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    Maybe instead of a Title you could put her under “special shout out to” or “special thanks to” that way you don’t have to think of a title?
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  • Tiffany
    Dedicated October 2020
    Tiffany ·
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    That's a good idea! If I don't get any title suggestions that I like I'll definitely do this! Thank you

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  • J
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
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    I agree with this. If she's not a bridesmaid, nor is she the coordinator or officiant, etc, her contributions are better kept private between you two. You could generally thank family and friends who helped out and supported you but guests don't need to know specifics beyond that.
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  • Tiffany
    Dedicated October 2020
    Tiffany ·
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    Also not quite what I am asking. I haven't decided on what I was going to say about her exactly but I was leaning toward giving her thanks for helping with the wedding. As I stated in my post, she has helped a lot beyond the cake. All I need guidance on is what title I should give her. Thanks anyway!

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  • M
    Dedicated October 2021
    Megan ·
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    But it's still technically an answer. I work with a few couples that have various relatives graciously chip in for super-specific aspects of the wedding (grandma pays for wedding dress, godfather pays for catering, etc.), all of those people have denoted they wouldn't want a specific title--because, honestly, the correct title would be "benefactor for the bride/groom" which... doesn't sound great. There are many more ways to thanks someone other than giving them a title on a website--it can, at times, seem like a hollow gesture.

    I agree with PPs about a shout-out to them would be appropriate; I would ask them what their level of comfortability would be when doing this. Even a nice thank-you gift would be great.

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  • Tiffany
    Dedicated October 2020
    Tiffany ·
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    However, not an answer to the question I am asking so therefore, to me, it is not an answer. I appreciate your reply nonetheless.

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  • mrswinteriscoming
    VIP December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    I think the reason people have given advice here is that you may incidentally give off the wrong impression to your guests since it would only be this friend who gets a special mention. I know you don't want advice here BUT... if your intentions are to make your friend feel really special and valued, I would do it in a more personal way than you're planning, i.e. send her a bunch of flowers, write her a heartfelt thank you note.

    Notwithstanding this, if you proceed with mentioning her on the website, I agree with PP that "with special thanks to..." at the bottom may be the best way to go about it.

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  • M
    Dedicated October 2021
    Megan ·
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    I mean... welcome to the internet.

    It's totally fine to just not acknowledge any information you're sure isn't helpful. Caytlyn is a staple on WW and has great insight, so I'd recommend distilling her post. She's not wrong--I had grandfather of the bride, just last year, get *very* uncomfortable (said so very loudly at the wedding) with a program shout-out that read something like "to our financial backer, Grandpa ____, thank you!" It's just best to check with individuals on things like this before displaying them.

    The beauty of posting on a public forum is getting answers/angles you never would have considered. I'm super grateful for forums like this for that exact reason.

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  • Tiffany
    Dedicated October 2020
    Tiffany ·
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    I didn't think it would be this difficult to get a response to my specific question and that I'd have to say that this isn't the only way I plan to try and express my gratitude. I also purchased her a gift very personal to her and plan to give her a thank you card as well. Mentioning her on the site is a smaller gesture than the gift I've purchased for her, in my opinion, and something I am confident I can do without telling everyone exactly how she's contributed so that I don't put her in the spotlight. I'm not going to say she bought us cake so thank her! I thought I was asking a simple question.

    Anyway, thank you for adding in your opinion about the "special thanks to" instead of a title. That is what I am looking for and judging from the other replies I've had I think I'll just forget I posted this and go with what you and Melle suggested.

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  • Tiffany
    Dedicated October 2020
    Tiffany ·
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    Thanks for sharing. Smiley smile

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  • Renee
    Super June 2020
    Renee ·
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    Friend of the Bride
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Gotcha! Maybe “designated cake buyer” would be more appropriate.
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  • mrswinteriscoming
    VIP December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    Unsolicited advice is part and parcel with these forums I guess, like Megan said. I think we've all been put through the ringer at some point or another.

    Sometimes though the outside opinions are worth listening to, even if you don't agree with them at first.

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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    By now it's clear that this is not what you're asking for, but I also agree with many of the PPs that giving her a title for your wedding website would not be appropriate. However, I do have another concrete suggestion: will you and your FH be giving a thank you speech at the reception? We did a thank you speech right after the cake cutting and gave verbal "special shout outs" to a few people who went above and beyond in helping us with planning and preparation. So not a direct answer to your question, but that would be my a suggestion.

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  • H
    Dedicated December 2020
    Halie ·
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    Off the top of my head, I like the “Special Thanks to..” I know it isn’t a specific title, but it allows you to write a kind message to this person and any others who have helped or will help in the future.


    As far as titles...Personal Attendant (from what I have read this is a person who has helped you plan and stayed organized, but not someone who you know well enough to add to the wedding party
    Reader (as a thanks to this person, would you allow her to read a small passage in your wedding to honor her importance and support she has given)
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  • A
    Super October 2021
    Ashley ·
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    I wouldn’t publicly mention that it was a financial contribution, nor would I put her on the website. If that’s super important to you, I’d have a spot where you can say “special thanks to...” and have her there. Again, I just would not mention that it was for purchasing the cake. If you want to include a reason, keeping it simple such as “for her/your love and support” would work.
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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    Just list her as “bride’s friend” since that’s sort of what she is (based on how you described your relationship).


    What are some of the other titles you’ve given people? That might help provide some direction for the question you’re asking.
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  • Elmarose
    Expert July 2022
    Elmarose ·
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    Totally agree!

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