Wedding party proposals and gifts

It’s just a trendy thing, and definitely nothing that is required by any means! TBH, doing proposals can really backfire because it puts people on the spot and makes them feel as though they have to say yes, even if they don’t want to be part of the bridal party, don’t have time for it, can’t afford it, etc. Just a simple (private) ask is more than sufficient. Or, if you want to make it special, you could take each of them out (individually) for lunch, coffee, drinks, etc. Or you could simply ask each of them individually, then take them all out for a celebratory lunch!

Totally just a trend. Not required or expected or standard. It can put pressure on people who may not have been anticipating being asked to participate, and costs extra money in addition to a thank you gift. One thing you could do (if you really wanted to give a proposal gift) is ask them either with a card, or a phone call, or during lunch, and if they accept, give them a proposal gift afterwards (though certainly not required or expected). These are completely fine to skip.

View Quoted Comment Thanks! They all live far away from me so a call will have to suffice with gifts at the wedding

View Quoted Comment Thanks for confirming this!

View Quoted Comment That’s perfect 😊

We're doing wedding party proposals for everyone because we want everyone to feel special. Each box will have a candle, succulent, bottle of wine, pencil bag, and book. I like this kind of crafty stuff and budgeted for it. Proposal boxes definitely aren't necessary though, especially if your people won't like or use what you're giving them.

They are a Pinterest/Instagram trend to make brides spend more money because that is what the Wedding Industry Complex is all about. Even though they are optional, there is still major pressure to give them anyway, and newly engaged brides feel that their friends will think less of them if they don’t give proposal boxes despite being told otherwise. Prior to them being a thing on Pinterest, brides asked their friends/relatives with no gifts whatsoever either in person over coffee or via phone call/text if they were out of the area. Some people don’t realize or care that they backfire badly because they pressure the recipient to say yes on the spot without any consideration whether they can participate or not. Also, they are very expensive for trinkets that will get donated to Goodwill within the week. Some brides view it as combination thank you gifts as well since the “industry standard” gifts are the exact same: props for the wedding day and other trinkets that do not reflect their individual interests at all.



I asked my bridesmaids without proposal boxes and they would think I had lost my mind if I had given any. I have also been a bridesmaid several times over the years and never received these because they were not a thing.
Save your money for non matching thank you gifts to be given after the wedding that you would purchase according to their individual interests and hobbies for their birthday.

We're in the same situation - our wedding party is all family and it seems a little silly to give them proposal boxes. I completely agree with Michelle that it's just another way to get people to spend money on a wedding, and personally I think they're a bit impersonal (in a similar way to giving getting-ready robes so you have them for pictures vs actually giving a thoughtful gift).

I didn't do "proposals" for my two sisters; I just asked them upfront if they wanted to be bridesmaids. I did, however, do a proposal of sorts for my two friends that I asked. For each one, I wrote a poem about the histories of our respective friendships, and for each one, the last two lines were "*insert friend's name here, will you be my bridesmaid?" Then I recorded myself reading each poem, and I texted each poem to each friend. They both loved them, and more importantly, they both said yes! They probably would have said yes without the poems, but I wanted to make it special nonetheless.

It's a social media thing validated by the wedding industry to make people spend more money. Definitely trendy and not mandatory.

View Quoted Comment I agree. I find matching robes, outfits, pajamas to be extremely cheesy and impersonal.

I definitely think it’s a trendy thing and totally up to you and your fiancé if you want to do them!

Not required but I think a nice thing to do. You are asking them to do extra things for you. I only have one bridesmaid and my sister is my MOH so I just put together something inexpensive and small and will do the same as a gift. In my opinion it’s nice when you’re asking stuff of them, family or not

I got little boxes and put a "will you be my bridesmaid" inside with a ring pop... for my friends. I sent my sister and brother in law some cupcakes and I sent my niece, who is 20 and never been in a wedding, an actual proposal box from like amazon. I am on the older side though and never got a proposal box back in the 90s or early 00s. No need to do anything big. As is all of this, it's up to you.