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Beginner September 2018

Wedding party not involved in ceremony

Christin , on December 22, 2017 at 10:22 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 21
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My fiancé and I are doing a bit of a non-traditional wedding-no cake (we don’t like cake), no bouquet/garter Toss, and more. Another idea that I’m tossing around is our wedding party. Originally, we were not going to have a wedding party at all, but now we have decided to have a wedding party so that we can have our near and dear family/friends participate. However, we are letting them dress how they want-preferably using a color from the wedding (neutrals, navy blue, and pops of sunset colors-so a lot of choices). I want them to be apart of our special day, but my dilemma: during our ceremony I would prefer just my fiancé and I standing at the altar. I don’t even want the wedding party to walk down the aisle.

I do want to announce them when we make our entrance to the reception though. Plus, have the party on our website displaying who is whom. Of course, I will get them gifts and have a really cute proposal idea for the bridesmaids.

Am I overthinking this or is this doable? No wedding party involved in the ceremony, yet involved in the reception and other aspects.

21 Comments

Latest activity by Alforev, on December 26, 2017 at 4:50 PM
  • Forestwed
    Master May 2018
    Forestwed ·
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    I don’t see how it would work. I can understand if they sit during the ceremony but they should walk down the aisle. In most catholic ceremonies tre bride and groom are at the altar while the wedding party is seated
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  • ACD
    Expert October 2018
    ACD ·
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    We're not doing the garter/bouquet toss or having a wedding party. I'm not sure what you're wanting them to participate in exactly (such as a reading/speech or physically just walking down the aisle?) but you can always have people read or make speeches without them being in the bridal party. Hope this helps Smiley smile

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  • Rachel Langerhans
    Expert October 2015
    Rachel Langerhans ·
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    What's the point of having a wedding party then? Personally I'm a fan of no wedding parties, that's what we did - sooo much less stress for everyone! Smiley smile Just let them be guests, it doesn't mean they're any less dear to you.
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  • stephanie
    Super October 2017
    stephanie ·
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    If you don't honor them in the actual ceremony, don't honor them in the reception by having them announced, etc. That will just confuse everyone, including those friends.

    It's okay to just not have a bridal party. It's also okay to have really great friends and not have a bridal party. Inviting them to the wedding is an honor, you don't need to find more ways to honor them.

    When I hear "involved in other stuff but not the ceremony," it sounds not like honoring them and more like wanting free work/people to throw parties/people to do stuff for you the day of, but without them stealing your spotlight by being involved in the real stuff. Not cool.
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  • C
    Master July 2018
    Cuoghi ·
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    Not sure why you need them if all you are doing is going to introduce them. Frankly, being a bridesmaid isn't that fun and the whole role is super outdated. I would just have them be guests at your wedding and enjoy themsleves. Im not doing any of "normal" wedding stuff either, only having 1 BM and GM because we have to have witnesses.
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  • J. Clo
    Master May 2018
    J. Clo ·
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    I would have them attend as guests. To have them not do anything at the ceremony then announce them at the reception is odd.
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  • O
    Master October 2017
    O ·
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    I would at least have them walk down the aisle. My SIL walked down the aisle, and then sat down with her mother. We didn't have a reception entrance either.
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  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
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    Just admit to yourself that you really don't want a wedding party. Deciding to have one, then giving them no role is silly.

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  • Orchids
    Master March 2018
    Orchids ·
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    You say you want them to participate, then you say you don't want them to participate.

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  • The Bride
    VIP May 2017
    The Bride ·
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    "No wedding party involved in the ceremony, yet involved in the reception and other aspects."?

    Meaning...? Inquiring minds want to know.

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  • C
    Beginner September 2018
    Christin ·
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    Honestly, I’m not sure. I want my close girlfriends to be involved in the wedding but I would prefer the ceremony to actively involve my fiancé and myself.
    I don’t know how to make that work.

    Most of the responses don’t think it would work. Those I have asked in person think it’s a great idea and they would have loved that in previous wedding they participated in.

    Who knew new this could be so stressful.
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  • Ashley
    Dedicated March 2018
    Ashley ·
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    So you want them to be involved in the wedding, but you dont want them to be involved...that is what you are saying right now. They only real role is to walk down the aisle and stand by your side. You don't want them to do either of those things. So how else do you want them to be involved. If I had to guess, it sounds like you are hoping they will be involved in pre-wedding activities (i.e, showers, bachelorette parties) but you dont want to actually honor them during the ceremony?
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  • The Bride
    VIP May 2017
    The Bride ·
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    What exactly did you ask them in person? I'll be honest, I'd probably say it was a great idea because I either didn't want to hurt feelings, because I wasn't sure what it entailed and I didn't want to pry in the moment, or because I thought I then wouldn't have to buy a dress or anything. Petty? Maybe. But honest.

    A reception is to thank people for celebrating with you. Announcing certain people at the reception could be awkward and make others wonder why they weren't worthy of an announcement. If you just want it to be you and your fiance then don't have a wedding party, period. I suppose you could invite a few people to do readings or something, but that does not require a wedding party proposal or featuring them on your website.

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  • C
    Beginner September 2018
    Christin ·
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    I have not asked them yet. I was just asking a couple of my friends in genreral, not anybody that would be associated with the wedding.



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  • C
    Beginner September 2018
    Christin ·
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    Okay. So clearly it sounds (from your responses) as if i either have them participate in every aspect or have no one at all.

    Thanks for your inputs. I appreciate it.


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  • Ashley
    Dedicated March 2018
    Ashley ·
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    Can you please clarify what aspects you DO want them to participate in?
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  • C
    Just Said Yes August 2018
    Colleen ·
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    Totally doable!! You can make your day however you want!
    I'm not even walking down an aisle at my wedding. Having them sit in the front and announcing them at the reception is completely appropriate!
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  • C
    Just Said Yes August 2018
    Colleen ·
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    It's doable! Don't give up on your vision!
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  • C
    Beginner September 2018
    Christin ·
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    Thanks 😀.

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  • April
    Super November 2018
    April ·
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    My future brother in law and his wife had so many people they wanted in their wedding that they had their brides maids and groomsmen and then "ushers" that weren't really ushers, they were like second string bridesmaids and groomsmen. They wore wedding colors but less formal than the first string wedding party and went down the aisle first but didn't stand up with them. They seated in the front row of the ceremony. Their walk down the aisle was first and less formal and it was almost like a clue to everyone else that the wedding was about to start. It is your wedding, of course it is doable! Do whatever you want.

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