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Beginner April 2023

Wedding party doesn't want to wear my color.

Joanna, on November 14, 2021 at 1:58 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

I have been dreaming of a cherry blossom-themed wedding for 12 years. I'm finally planning my wedding with a white and light blush pink palette. My matron of honor has agreed to wear pink and my father has agreed to wear a pink shirt. However, my MOTHER is objecting to wearing light pink. She said she's never heard of having a wedding party wear particular colors. Now my fiance is balking at the idea of a pink tie/handkerchief.

I feel so childish - I don't really understand why it's such a big deal to me or to them. My mother wears that shade of pink all the time and I really wasn't expecting this.

Has anyone else encountered this problem?


Latest activity by Kari, on November 20, 2021 at 3:08 PM
  • Rebelle Fleur
    Master July 2021
    Rebelle Fleur ·
    • Flag
    I haven’t had this problem but usually the bride doesn’t dictate what the parents wear. I would just try to explain to your husband how important it is to you.
    • Reply
  • Cece
    Master November 2022
    Cece Online ·
    • Flag
    Usually the bride does not choose what the MOB and MOG wear- they just wear whatever they are comfortable with. As for your fiancé not wanting to wear pink… this is his wedding day as well, and I think he should be included in the decision making, especially when it affects what he was wearing. He deserves to like his attire and feel comfortable in it. Maybe sit down and find a color palette that incorporates light pink and another color that he likes and would feel comfortable wearing. There are tons of colors that look great with pink! I will attach some color palettes for inspiration….
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    • Reply
  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
    • Flag
    Your mom is right in that the bride does not dictate her attire. Let her wear what she wants. If your groom doesn’t want a pink pocket square he can easily do another color (or none).
    • Reply
  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
    • Flag

    What your mother wears isn't up to you, and your fiancé should get final say on his own attire.

    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Rockstar May 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    Sounds like it isn't the color your mother has a problem with, she just wants to be difficult. I have a feeling that if you tell her to wear whatever she wants, she might pick pink in the end Smiley smile As for the groom, I think a black suit with a white shirt and white tie is super classic!

    • Reply
  • J
    Just Said Yes June 2024
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    I would just try to get a coordinating color for the groom - such as a grey tie and he could wear a white boutonnière that would still go with your theme. No one will notice or think it’s weird that it’s not blush. 🙂
    • Reply
  • A.B.
    Dedicated November 2021
    A.B. ·
    • Flag

    You can still have the full theme even without your mom matching. It's not normal to pick her dress anyway but since it IS a color she normally wears I do think it's kind of silly for her to say no to a dress she'd likely normally enjoy and would make you happy. I'd let this go but give yourself grace for being disappointed. Focus your efforts on center pieces instead.

    RE: the groom. He should like how he looks on his own wedding day so also let this one go. Most weddings have at least two colors. See if there is a second color for him that you'll both love or see if he'd like a cherry blossom boutonniere instead. Boutonnieres are usually flowers or greenery so it might feel less weird to him than dressing in pink which sounds like is not his normal color.

    • Reply
  • Emma
    Beginner March 2023
    Emma ·
    • Flag
    I think they’re all making a big deal out of nothing. It is not childish at all and they should not be making you feel like that. I have the same theme for my wedding too and everyone has agreed to it without a fuss because they understand that it’s my vision and dream. I think you should hold on to your dream. Maybe find compromise if necessary. Like I told all my bridesmaids, they get to pick the dress but I get to pick the color. That way they aren’t stuck with something that they hate. And my groom is dressing himself but he knows the color scheme of the wedding. However, I also don’t think the color is usually chosen for the mother either (as long as she doesn’t wear white) and I do agree that your groom should also like how he looks. The two of you should work on a comprise.
    • Reply
  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    Typically the only attire chosen by the couple is that which the couple is wearing and those in their wedding party. Family members are not obligated to stick to a color scheme unless they themselves are in the wedding. Also, this is something you and your fiance should agree on - the wedding is as much his as it is yours. Just because you've dreamed of a cherry blossom themed wedding for more than a decade doesn't mean his opinion is invalid.

    Having said that, maybe consider mismatched shades of pink? I think blush is so pretty but it is not flattering on all people and tends to wash out those with fair, cool toned skin. You can still have a cohesive look that goes along with your love of cherry blossoms without forcing everyone into the exact shade of cherry blossom pink. Having a range of subtly darker and lighter hues as part of your palette with flatter more complexions and be more agreeable to a wider range of people.

    For our wedding, my husband and our groomsmen wore soft pink floral ties and they were all into it. Perhaps a floral themed tie in a different color, a tie with hints of pink (but not solid pink), a soft green tie (like greenery), or a neutral option like white or cream would be preferable for your fiance.

    Weddings (and marriage) are about being flexible and willing to compromise.

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