Wedding party disaster

You should focus more on having the people that you're close to next to you on your wedding day, no matter how few, instead of trying to find random people to fill a vision. You're setting yourself up for disaster.

I would advise against selecting someone as a “just because” stand in. If they weren’t on your initial list to be in your bridal party, then they weren’t meaningful enough to hold that position. So don’t add them afterward simply as a prop to achieve a certain “look”. Your wedding will be fine and ultimately you’re marrying your love.

Just came to tell you that I’m sorry that this is happening!! It’s tough when you get a kink thrown in your wedding and I understand how stressful it is for something you really wanted to go wrong.


Don’t worry - whether you have one person or ten by your side at your wedding, it’s about you and your FH. At the end of the day, you’ll be married and this will just be a blip on the radar.
That said, you’re absolutely allowed to feel disappointed. Don’t let it get you too far down, though - your day will be amazing no matter what.

Wow. Thanks people. If you had the smallest bridal party in the world I’m sure you’d feel awful too so I’ll make sure to kick you while your down next time....

I completely understand wedding party drama, but I honestly think just having a maid of honor and best man would be the best idea. I would add people just to add people to your wedding. You should only really have those closest to you in your wedding. While it isn't your vision, I wouldn't add people just for the heck of it.

I have my friend who would have originally been in the bridal party but my fiancé didn’t have another guy and I wanted it to be equal (she me for being OCD)

We were supposed to have 4 on each side and ended up with 2 on each side (1 was for health reasons but the other 3 just ditched us). I wasn’t upset about my numbers so much as knowing people didn’t care about us like we thought they did. At the end of the day focusing on your fiancé and those who are there for you will be what’s most important.

I'm sorry you're bummed but I wouldnt add any people. Would you enjoy being someone's second choice? I only had a MOH and a Best Man and it was wonderful.

Make it about you and you FH! No bridal party, no stress. I understand how this was a curve ball in your planning and thoughts.

We decided we didn't want a bridal party and honestly it was a little strange at first. When you tell vendors no bridal party they actually smile and say "that is awesome!" Also a big plus, no bridal party drama.

Good Luck with your search, but know it's ok to not have a bridal party.

The internet is a place to get unbiased, unencumbered opinions. That can sometimes open you up to criticism or, what you perceive to be, harsh words. No one is trying to kick you while you're down, but in the interest of logistics over emotions, it sometimes makes more sense for people to express the logic side of your question.

PPs are right in that trying to replace people won't go down well for a multitude of reasons. Trying to hit a certain number or have even sides for bridesmaids/groomsmen focuses way too much on the non-important aesthetics of one day of your life over the relationships you have with the people in your life. It's definitely unfortunate that a bridesmaid and groomsmen stepped down, and you're entitled to your hurt feelings. Scrambling just to have a body to fill a space is not where your wedding planning energy should be going, and has to potential to cause real drama.

View Quoted Comment Then I never want to see a post from anyone of these girls complaining about something screwed up about their day. We all care about the aesthetics. Let’s not pretend we don’t. Sucks even more when it’s not just a friend who backs out it’s family, my FH’s SISTER.

I only had a MOH and my husband had his brother as best man. I know that's not what you want, but I am so happy we did that it made planning schedules for rehearsal and events so easy. Picking out outfits wasn't a headache and all the other friends and family were still included in formal pictures anyways.

View Quoted Comment You have every right to be upset and disappointed about people stepping down. It sounds like your wedding vision is super important to you, which makes sense when many of us have been dreaming of our wedding day for a long time. Having said that, being rude to people who are only trying to help you is not going to solve anything. It seems like you're pretty upset right now, so honestly I would take some time to process what you're feeling and come back to the issue when you can look at things more calmly. I imagine you don't want to make any rash decisions that will impact your wedding, so a little space from this could really help.


As for my personal opinion, I would try to focus on the reason for all of this- to marry someone you love! None of us will have a perfect wedding that goes exactly the way we want, so focus on what you can control and let go of the rest.

I feel ya. Just found out my SIL wore the same dress when she married my brother. Now hate my dress.

View Quoted Comment THIS... Took words out of my mouth

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I have definitely never thought aesthetics were more important than people or relationships. I only had a maid of honor and best man in my wedding party, so I can't really relate to your "disaster". But I have to take issue with your assertion that people are lying if they say they don't think their vision is more important than the actual people standing next to them when they get married.

Go ahead and be disappointed about the people that dropped out, but then move on with the rest of your planning by keeping your eye focused on the goal: marriage. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment Never said it was more important than the people..... but okay. And to me it is a disaster, you don’t know me and how I feel about things. But thanks...

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Have you actually been diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder? If so, I suggest you talk with your therapist(s) and perhaps use this opportunity to work on your obsessive issues with symmetry. If not, please don't use that as slang/an excuse.

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Caring about aesthetics is fine. Caring about aesthetics over relationships isn't. Trying to throw people at the last minute into the wedding party for even sides... is the definition of caring more about your vision than the people around you.

Good luck.

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Thank you, Vicky. This term gets used way too often around here as an excuse for wanting things "even" or "perfect." I can't imagine how that makes people who actually suffer from this condition feel, not to mention it's such a cop out for just being picky.