Wedding party break up

It's your day so it's really up to you what you feel comfortable with. My guess is that you are friends with both her and her boyfriend. You want to have people that you like and it will support you to be there with you. If they are good friends they'll understand that and will be cordial. Best if luck!!

I would let them decide.

I would hope that they're mature enough to be broken up and in the same bridal party. If she didn't mention the wedding to you, I wouldn't bring it up to her.

^lies.

You don't fire a member of your bp. They will be fine. They are adults

If they are still off by your wedding, you can pair them up with someone else. It's only a few hours. They can suck it up.

If they want to back out, it should be their decision. I would not get involve with their drama. You going to have enough to deal with.

@Kelley P. I'm hoping they can be, and yes we're friends with both of them. It's one of FH's (let's call him J) long time friends, and him and C (the bridesmaid) have been together since before me and FH ever started dating so naturally me and her became close friends over the years.

I feel like the chances of them getting back together in the three weeks before the wedding are slim, she found some pretty damning texts that he's cheating on her.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed they will both be civil for the wedding, they have a baby together so it's not like the wedding will be the only time they'll be around each other. But yes, I'm just not going to say anything unless/until they do.

Kelley, no. Don't listen to that advice. Trust them to be adults and work it out. It's not your place to be refereeing between them.

They are adults. Let them adult for one day and get along

I like the idea of letting them decide what they want to do. If you could be flexible on who they're paired up with, that might make things easier as well. Yes, they're adults and they should be able to suck it up for one evening, but it would be understandable if they preferred different partners while walking down the aisle given that it will only be three weeks post breakup and the feelings will probably be pretty raw.

Weddings bring out feelings, who knows maybe they will make up at the wedding.

@Alyssa V, I could definitely be flexible on that considering I haven't even written officially who's walking with who

I agree.. Ask them to be respectful and act like adults!

I'd just stay out if it and treat them like mature adults who can handle the situation. If either one of them decides they can't handle it, they'll let you know. Otherwise, all you can do is continue to be friends with both J and C, and try to pair them up with other people for the recessional.

FH and I went through a breakup at the early stages of dating. His brother and my best friend were getting married and paired us up in their wedding party. We both we super hesitant, but we talked it through and as many PP said, we were "adult" about it and didn't make a fuss. He was my escort.

And look where that got us?

I know that making up with each other wouldn't happen with every case, but the point is that we were thrown together even when we didn't want to be and we just dealt with it and kept going!

Just leave things as they are. I should hope they'd be mature enough to work it out amongst themselves.

My sister's wedding party included a former couple and the only comment I ever heard was her requesting that she not be paired with him. Beyond that, trust them to put it aside.

I'm with Sarah-- unless there were extreme circumstances (violence, cheating, etc) I would expect them both to be adult enough to be in proximity to one another. FWIW, I had a couple getting divorced in my MP-- they got married in May, and by my wedding in September they were getting divorced. Must have been super awkward for the woman, as we are all friends of her ex, so she had NO ONE there who was on her side, but she stood up front and came to the reception and slipped out as soon as she could.

If they're adults and truly care about you and FH, they'll put that behind them and be civil for one night. That being said, let them come to you with what they're comfortable with. Maybe they can walk together, maybe they can't. Maybe they can eat a meal at the same table, maybe they can't. Don't go to them about it as to not "stir the pot", but let them come to you instead; in the meantime, as everyone else has said, assume that they'll be proper, respectful adults for one night.

I think that's where "This is your day" actually rings true. The people in attendance are there in support of you. For a few hours, they should be able to put bygones/drama/self-emotions behind and celebrate this big day for you. I wouldn't pair them up obviously for recessional or intro if you're doing one. Seeing as they share a child, this won't be the only event where they need to be civil for the sake of someone else. Hope they can work through it though.

Let it be. They are adults and will act like it (at least I would hope so) for the sake of your wedding. They'll probably make up at the wedding if they are always "on and off". Weddings bring out so many emotions lol

"It's your day" ....ew.

OP - Go on with your wedding as planned. If they decide they can't do it, then they will tell you.

ETA- Please see this thread for those of you saying "it's your day." - https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/rant-it-is-not-your-day/6fd8a53bfbbf2a52.html