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Jessica
Beginner April 2015

Wedding OCD is Not Real

Jessica, on April 20, 2013 at 7:57 AM Posted in Planning 0 11
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Searching Google for stories of brides with OCD this morning, I was surprised to find forums from various websites where women talked about how they had developed temporary OCD during wedding planning.

This gets thrown around a lot and usually refers to someone obsessing over something, whether its planning or wanting their house nice and tidy. But these brides seemed half convinced they actually had temporary OCD.

No disrespect, but you do not have OCD if you're obsessed with planning your wedding. You may be stressed and going overboard based on social or family pressures and that's certainly something you need to address for your own well being.

But as someone who suffers from OCD, I want to stress this is a mental problem that is very hard on us. OCD wedding planning would involve obsessively reviewing the same list of wedding vendors over and over every day until you're in tears from the stress, but unable to stop obsessively scouring the same list again and again. This happens to me almost daily.

I just want others to know the difference. The term is losing its meaning as an actual mental problem, and it's upsetting when those of us with OCD read about things like this because it makes us feel less understood and more alone. I hope this doesn't sound like a rant, because it's not. But I think it's important to talk about and helps others like me to know they're not alone. Smiley smile

11 Comments

Latest activity by Caleigh, on August 12, 2020 at 10:39 PM
  • J&B
    Master September 2013
    J&B ·
    • Flag

    Jessica, I'm sorry you are suffering through this. I don't believe any woman who says she has OCD is trying to be hurtful, she's just trying to explain a behavior that is new to her. Perhaps your post will make us all more careful of word choice.

    You're not alone!

    • Reply
  • Beans
    Dedicated October 2013
    Beans ·
    • Flag

    I agree it's important to talk about. I also suffer from OCD. I am a repetitive door checker (any door-cabnet, refrigerator, front door, car door, etc..) I also suffer from extreme anxiety and fear of static electricity (this is so bad I hate plugging in and unplugging things in-sometimes I just can't do it), the grocery store is a place of fear for me I have litterally had to leave in the middle of a shopping trip because I was having a panic attack because of the fear of getting shocked when I was picking up items off the shelfs (this has happened more than once) and don't even get me started on laundry. OCD interrupts my life. Things I should be able to do I can't. Like just lock the door and leave. No I have to check and Check and check until I am feeling statisfied this can sometimes be 10-15 minutes of door checking. (Same with the refrigerator...or the car) it's irrational and I know it but I still have to do it or the anxiousness and down right fear consumes me. All that being said I was under treatment for years and I am manageable now.

    • Reply
  • Ab
    Master October 2011
    Ab ·
    • Flag

    Great post Jessica! I hate when terms for mental disorders are just tossed around; such as "Oh I'm so OCD about that!" whatever it is people are referring to. Also people tend to use "bipolar" too loosely, such as "Oh I don't like cats, they are so bipolar." Good luck with your wedding planning, and thanks again for posting! I hope people around you will understand and not misconstrue you as being a bridezilla!

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  • Lucky me
    Master June 2013
    Lucky me ·
    • Flag

    I've actually never heard anyone say that! I can see why it would bother you, but I agree when brides say it I don't think they mean it in a hurtful way. They are just using it as how crazy they are about their wedding. I always use the term wedding brain though Smiley smile

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  • Just Reenski
    Master December 2012
    Just Reenski ·
    • Flag

    I used to be close with a girl who would say she has OCD but only when she thinks about it. I was like (to myself), "Don't think that's how it works..." And having a best friend that's bipolar, I dislike many of the bipolar sayings myself. So I'm with you, thanks for spreading the message -- we direly need more information and understanding about mental illness in this world.

    • Reply
  • glam2013
    VIP May 2013
    glam2013 ·
    • Flag

    I think people throw the term around loosely. I am a licensed family therapist and it bothers me to my core...not that I think people are intentionally being disrespectful just that its used soooo often in the wrong text. OCD is not an verb of acting a certain way or an adjective to generally describe someone. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is very real, life altering, and something millions SUFFER from! Brides....most occasions are just burned out from being so focused on small details...usually nothing more! Thank for brining more awareness and may your path be blessed.

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  • Christine
    VIP September 2013
    Christine ·
    • Flag

    Jessica I love this. I'm OCD as well. After I had kids it got worse. My OCD is details and checking things even though I know I already did them like locking doors setting alarms. Ill look 50 times. It can be a nightmare. It's also with cleaning. Now I don't mean on the floor toothbrush cleaning but everything has to have a place. It's hard for me in the summer when the kids have 100 things in the yard and aren't playing with any of it. I get impulsive like I GAVE to put it all away right then and there. I can't sit after dinner and talk with fh I have to get up and wash dishes and clean the kitchen then I can sit. It stinks and people laugh at me all the time but I'm learning and finding new ways to cope here and there. I totally understand how the planning is for you because I'm going through it as well. One good thing we are the most organized and I doubt we will forget a thing Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    September 2020
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    Another overused term, like 'bullying' and 'obsessed".....OCD is a terrifying and depressing disease for those who have it in any form. Hugs and good wishes to you.

    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Beginner April 2015
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    Wow, so many good comments. Thanks everyone Smiley smile

    I have problems with cleaning too, but not to the level some people do. It's gotten better over time. Also I like the term wedding brain. That seems so appropriate lol

    • Reply
  • Susan Stalnaker
    September 2020
    Susan Stalnaker ·
    • Flag

    Hi -

    I agree with Ceilia. This condition is very serious and should be shared with all vendors involved. I don't think it is sympathy you want, but just consideration in the way your wedding is planned.

    I feel communication is the most important tool in planning a successful wedding. Hopefully everyone on your team feels the same way.

    Cheers,

    Susan

    • Reply
  • Caleigh
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Caleigh ·
    • Flag
    Thank you for this. I got engaged on July 15th and have OCD. I didn’t think my OCD would affect wedding planning whatsoever but oh boy was I wrong. I’ve been ok searching for decor, photographers, and different vendors but with venue searching it’s been horrible to the point where I’m shaking and on the verge of tears because my brain tells me to stop scrolling for today stop looking over and over again and my fingers just keep searching and swiping and it’s exhausting. I had to give up on searching for venues and get the apps off my phone and my fiancé is now searching. Thanks for this post it’s a real thing.
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