Wedding "no No's"

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I went to a wedding like this a looong time ago: It was clear it was out together in haste. Backyard, not enough chairs, no porta potties, beer and sodas in coolers, a tunebox (yes it was the 80's) playing a radio station for the reception.....I will stop there. I was like, haven't you guys been engaged for a year? This is the best you can do?

View Quoted Comment Exactly!! The couple that planned this wedding were engaged for almost a year and the bride talked nonstop about her wedding, so it was assumed it would be fully planned out and awesome. I think the bride was trying to get parents to pay for everything and she thought all she had to do was walk down the isle. Her parents didn't book the venue until 3 months before, so there was definitely some quick thinking needed, but they didn't bother. I think I could write a book on this wedding lol!

It really bothers me when I can't hear the ceremony/speeches, etc. Basically when the sound system isn't set up properly. I'm there because I want to hear all that stuff! Lol.

I don't drink so a cash bar doesn't affect ME personally but I would feel really really bad for every other guest that drinks and definitely judge that cash bar, even though I'm not being personally affected by it.

Money dances I have no issue with because my FW is Filipino and it is common practice to always have a money dance. I've been to 4-5 Filipino weddings in the past few years and there was ALWAYS a money dance, it's cultural and expected. I would definitely side eye a money dance being done where the couple wasn't the culture where it's expected to have one though! That's definitely different.

I would be sad if there was a lack of food or just one main dish (no choices or buffet) that I didn't like. One of my best friends had a fabulous wedding and did one dish. There was a lot of sides/food that came along with the dish, but the main dish I didn't personally like. I ate all the sides though and there was a lot of food for the cocktail hour, so it was ok. But I'm definitely a fan of buffets. Most of the weddings I have been to were buffets or a family style type of set up. Actually now that I am thinking about it, I don't think I've ever had to "choose" my meal for a wedding lol.

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Oh yes, the kidnapping thing! I wonder if it was a regional thing? I was at a wedding (I was a +1 date, so didn't know the couple) around 1982 in the midwest where they did this. One group grabbed the bride and another took the groom. I ended up with the party that took the groom (I had no clue this was a thing). He ended up making a pass at me - very overt, very aggressive, so no mistaking it for anything else. It was so gross and horrible! I'm sure they didn't last the year.

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Whats a fake exit? It sounds weird and disruptive....

For me its anything that implies someones being dragged to the alter "last chance to run" signs, weird cake toppers etc.

Not enough space, I've been to so many weddings with to many tables/chairs crammed in to a room and there wasn't room to breath.

No seating at cocktail hour, I really don't want to stand for an hour and half in my fancy shoes while the couple takes pictures.

This is probably one that's unique to me but anything gendered really bothers me "all the women grab your man for this dance" and stuff like that.

- Lack of licor
- Too many performances (looking at a slide show of your baby pictures, etc.) let get the party started.
- money dance/ honey moon fund
- having everyone in the family speech (3 max)
- not feeding your guest
- Not providing comfort to your guest. AC, Seats, proper bathroom.

Honey fund or any other fund that requires guests to pay money
Dollar dances
Cash bar
Drink tickets
Dry wedding (unless religious or cultural. reasons)
Games of any kind
Not enough food/drinks
Self catering
No assigned tables
Not enough seats if you dont assign tables
Overly long ceremony
Cake in the face

Any language that treats me as property, or as less than my FH.

Anything requiring guests to get out their wallets.

Honeymoon fund and dollar dance. Everything else seems ok to me (:

Only thing I can add is starting late. It's so rude!

Splitting up couples with regard to seating is definitely something to avoid. Either seat the wedding party with their dates at the head table or opt for a sweetheart table or something. It's so awkward to be the date/+1 and wind up seated with a bunch of strangers, no matter how lovely those strangers are.

I think not providing food and/or alcohol is a huge no-no, and not letting people sit with their significant others at any point is just awful.

Otherwise, I don't get too offended or upset. As long as you're thanking people for spending the day with you, I think the rest is pretty common sense.

View Quoted Comment I agree with all of these but ESPECIALLY the dragging groom to the altar decorations. So stupid.

I agree with most of the objections listed and wanted to add: No amateur verse. (Just because you found it online does not make it the work of a professional writer. And "cute" is never cute and usually gringe-worthy--like almost any greeting card--ugh.) No attempts at verse on STDs, response cards, signs, programs, thank-you notes. And preferably no signs at all.

I am wondering about the "fake exit" as well. Never heard of it!

Oh - the endless slide show/power point show. Yikes. One wedding had this, set to music and it went on and on and ON......the thing finally broke! I said, "Oh that was nice!" only to be told that no, the "production" broke. That bride and groom had more pictures of them than me and my two kids put together, and I am in my early 50's. This was the same wedding with endless memorials, endless toasts to the deceased father of the bride (the invites actually read: Mrs. Jane Abbott and the late Mr Edward Abbott invite you....." yikes. Dead folks can't invite people!!!

Signs need to stop. Signs telling the groom it is his one last change to run REALLY need to stop.

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Yes to the slideshow! FH's cousin got married a few years ago and asked me about 2 weeks before the wedding if I could make a slideshow, but it wasn't even pictures of them together... It was baby pictures of them both and photos of them "through the years" (separately) -- like it was a high school graduation, not a wedding.

But I liked the way they used it; it was on a continuous loop throughout dinner (with varying music) so that people didn't have to sit and just watch it, it was just on if they wanted to!

While we are not doing any of these at our wedding, I don’t have any feelings towards cash bars, Honeyfunds, friendors, money dances, dry wedding, etc.

I do care a lot about not having set tables for people as I am very shy & would like to be sitting with people I do know.

I also hate those signs about the groom ‘running away’ or any decorations implying the same. No thank you.

Lets start from the begging shall we?

A location that is too far away and isn't serviced by uber or lyft so someone has to drive and can't enjoy the reception.

An outdoor ceremony when its over 85 degrees with the sun beating down and bugs everywhere.

Not being able to hear the bride and groom during the ceremony.

Any sort of gap between the ceremony and reception.

Not enough bars/bartenders for the venue so there are crazy lines to get a drink

Not enough tables for cocktail hour - how am I supposed to hold my drink & plate & eat at the same time?

A DRY WEDDING (I will always leave right after the meal)

Crappy food/not enough food

Tables cramped together

A bad DJ or Band

Too many speeches that last way to long - keep it short and simple!

I have been to weddings where the bride and groom didn't bother to greet/speak with every guest and that bothers me. When they're too concerned with enjoying their party to say hi to me, it makes me feel really uncomfortable about being there. These are pretty small weddings, too, and it's happened to me several times.