Wedding Look - Dream vs. Reality

Here's an experiment I read about years ago that changed my life on how I see myself:

A billboard on a busy street in New York featured a plus size gal in her underwear. Under her picture, the caption stated "I think I'm fat, don't you?" The people walking by saw the billboard, read the caption, and agreed that yes, she was fat.

Another billboard on another busy street in New York featured that same plus size gal in her underwear (the same picture as the other billboard). Under her picture, the caption stated "I think I'm beautiful, don't you?" The people walking by saw the billboard, read the caption, and agreed that yes, she was beautiful.

Moral: People will agree with you with how you see yourself. Confidence and happiness are always beautiful and sexy no matter your size.

I worry about this too. I brought it up to my fiancé once and he reminded me that he’s marrying me the exact way I am now. That’s who he proposed to. And he said he wants me to look like myself on our wedding day so striving to be something I’m not seems pointless.

View Quoted Comment That is beautiful

View Quoted Comment

POW...there it is. Brandi just won this post!

Hun a lot of people can relate to that, including me. We’re not models, we’re not going to be in a magazine and airbrushed to perfection. Every bride is beautiful because they’re the bride!

You know how much my head started to spin reading about all this beautifying stuff I was supposed to do to “look my best”? 12 step skincare routine, regular facials, laser hair removal, body bootcamp, expensive shapewear, facial waxing, protein hair treatments, more hair treatments, cosmetic surgery!!! It’s all BS. It’s such crap.
Your partner thinks you’re hot in sweats and your hair in a sloppy bun. This stuff isn’t for our groom, it’s for some bridal image we feel we have to look like.

I get feeling bad. I’m dealing with an injury and I’ve gained so much weight in a short amount of time. I told myself I’ll just bust my butt at the gym but hey I can’t lift or move so that didn’t happen. I’m 34 days away, it’s not going to happen. My skin’s not looking great because of the stress. You know I’m generally feeling pretty bad about myself and feeling like I somehow let myself down.
But I know on the day of that I’ll be beautiful. YOU’LL be beautiful! Every bride will be beautiful and it’s all going to be ok no matter what happens.

View Quoted Comment Rationally I know all that is silly but with all that's out there, it's nice to be reminded that we are all lovely as we are. And it is nice to know I'm not alone in my thoughts.

Year's ago, I wouldn't even leave the apartment without my hair and makeup done. I never wore sweat pants, and being fat I was very insecure about my looks. 9 years ago, I became chronically ill and it caused permanent nerve damage on one side of my face. During bad days, I look like I've had a stroke. For 2 years I didn't even want people to see me unless it was doctor.

I finally came to terms with it now and stopped mourning how I used to look or how I could look. I look like me and my FH thinks I'm beautiful. Those magazines are full of unrealistic, photoshopped images and not fair to try comparing yourself to anyone else but you.

I'm a bigger girl...I hated myself for YEARS! (literally until like 2 years ago and I'm almost 40!) Then I finally sat myself down in front of a mirror and had a heart to heart with myself. I listed every single thing I hate about myself. Nearly everything I hated was some physical thing. I took all those things I hated about my physical self (my weight, my stomach, my short, fat fingers, etc etc) and challenged myself to come up with something I love about my physical self (my eyes, the freckles on my shoulders, my strength...you get the picture). I learned to see myself differently. I decided that my short, fat fingers are incredible. They are the same as my mom's and grandma's hands, my hands allow me to sew, and craft and play the ukulele (badly...but still...lol) and so many other things. I challenge myself every day to be nicer to myself. I am more than my weight or my dress size...As are you. Please be kinder to yourself. You deserve to to be treated like the goddess you are, especially by you!

The week before my wedding, I ended up with my period (somehow I got off schedule), but luckily it finished the day of my wedding, but my skin broke out in acne, I had already put on a bunch of weight the year before and my dress was just a smidge more snug than it had been when I tried it on before. I was doing my own makeup and hair, and the plan I had for my hair didn't work out the way I wanted it to (I ended up buying a gold leafy headband on clearance from Michael's and pinning it back - an hour before the wedding the elastic came loose from the gold and my mom had to get me some pliers so I could cram it back in). My appearance wasn't what I expected, but tbh, in the pics, you don't even notice it. My smile is HUGE in all of them, and it turns out, it's true; wedding day glow is a real thing, and it works wonders. I think you will be beautiful, and happy, and all of that is going to overshadow any other flaws you might think you have now. it sounds so cheesy, but it's so true!

Everyone's giving great advice! Follow bodyposipanda on Instagram. Follow everyone she reposts, and unfollow all the fitness/fashion accounts. And I would say invest in the professional makeup! Even if you have to do a tag sale or lemonade stand (lol) to scrounge up the cash. Makeup artists can work wonders!

Ugh I feel you. Lately I'm noticing all kinds of flaws on my face. Wrinkles, large pores, even my freckles started bothering me and I've never been self conscious about them! I just keep reminding myself that my FH loves me and how I look naturally so there's no way he won't like how I look on my wedding day. I never wear makeup but because of this wedding and the pressure of have a $2000 photographer makes me so nervous. I've invested in some makeup and I'm just hoping I will like how I look in the pictures. I don't think I'll be worried about it the day of because I'll be too busy but I don't want to look back at the photos and hate them.