Wedding Look - Dream vs. Reality

I am bigger now than I have ever been. It hurts me that all my pictures will memorialize the effects of multiple injuries and two surgeries that prevented me from working out, and the depression that came with that led to some serious bad eating habits. But, I have to remember that I will look amazing because I will also be happier than I have ever been. I also think about a good friend who lost a LOT of weight after her wedding. She is still proud of those pictures and the happy moments they captured, but also really proud of how far she's come since then. You will look amazing. You are being too hard on yourself because that is what we are taught to do. Put your dress on, play with your hair and make-up, dance in the mirror, and tell yourself to appreciate the beauty you see.

If you are able to I'd start working out. Even if it's just walking. But do it everyday. Not for weight loss or getting into shape but for feeling better. I have been loosing weight (working out, eating better etc) but w some sleepless nights this week (kids been sick) I just felt so drained and defeated and down. I felt horrible. About myself, my life, everything. So I forced myself on a treadmill last night at 10pm. I'm telling you 30 min later I felt like a new person. It was amazing. And it always happens.... Hope this helps.

I guess that's why people do make up and hair trials beforehand so that it helps ensure their vision is how they want it

And also... You're friggin beautiful regardless we can be our own worst critic, ya know?

From 18-25 I had this mental image of myself as slim-thick on my wedding day. I knew my PR-booty wasn’t going anywhere but I imagined I’d have a teeny waist and toned everything.

On my wedding day I was not. The bridal salon ordered the wrong size gown on top of everything and I was uncomfortable and felt unattractive. I’m not going to lie getting my hair and makeup done really helped get myself feeling festival. My hair is a point of pride for me so having cool hair helped me feel confident.

View Quoted Comment So sorry to hear about your dress; I am lucky I got mine off the rack. I am not sure if I will be able to get my hair/makeup done professionally yet, but if it's a big confidence booster maybe I will make an extra effort to save somewhere else so I can do it.

I didn’t have to look at me on my wedding day 🤣 — so I just had to feel good on the inside.

As for pictures ? I am BLINDED by my gigantic beaming smile in all of them so much so that I truly can’t see anything else except for the happiness oozing from my body.

It’s kind of unreal honestly. I had put on weight. I have eternal skin issues. So I’m with you on not feeling my best going into it. But seeing how FREAKING HAPPY I am in my wedding pics, it’s all I can see. I can criticize them plenty (WHY IS MY MOUTH OPEN SO W I D E IN EVERY SINGLE ONE). The “glow” is real.

Tips to feel better about yourself:

Throw out those bridal magazines. Unfollow all models/influencers on social media. Follow body positive pages. Listen to Lizzo. Listen to Santigold- Can’t get enough of myself. Think about the non physical things you love about yourself!!

View Quoted Comment The self deprecation is a hard habit to break for sure. Thanks for the perspective; it is a good reminder that the happiness can shine through regardless of what happens.

I completely understand and I worry about this everyday. I have gained 40 pounds since I got engaged and I never imagined this in my wildest dreams. I've always been a vain gal and I worked in the beauty industry for 12 years. I know I will never look the way I want to look on my wedding day and I am so over it.

You only walk away with 2 things from your wedding, the photos and your partner. I constantly remind myself that I only have to get through this one day and then I get to start a life with my new husband! It's a pretty great reward for enduring just one hard day. I am in no way saying standing in front of everyone you know in a white gown spotlight will be easy, but itl'l be worth it. I also have stalked my photographer on instagram enough to know she will get a great shot I will love. In my head, I can pretend I really looked like that heavily edited photo ;-) Don't worry about your skin, hair, teeth, ect. Any skilled photographer can soften all of that in editing. You will look great!!

In the reality of it, I'm the same way. But I also explained to my photographer and videographer which sides and parts of my body I do and don't prefer to have photographed and they're both very understanding of that.

In the meaningful sense of it though; one of the things people (including my husband) have told me is to remember that when you walk down that isle it's you and him. No one else matters - not the cameras or guests or anyone. You'll focus on him and it all goes uphill after that. The camera will capture your happiness and the meaningfulness and that's gonna be all that matters. And remember that he asked you to marry him because he believes you're perfect. He doesn't (and won't) see all the little things you're worried about and that's what matters is you and him.

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ALL of this!!!! I worship at the altar of Lizzo and love Santigold too!

View Quoted Comment At the very least throwing on a pair of false lashes is a huge confidence boost for me (even on date night or going to an event). At least during slow days at Sephora they’ve always helped me put them on and I normally get them for less than $10.

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Also remember that your FH is marrying you as you are. One of my vows is "I promise to try seeing me the way you do". Make that one your vows to yourself, see the beauty he does.

View Quoted Comment I am sure I will be grinning like an idiot so I am glad to know it will help! 😁

First of all, when your future groom fell in love, he fell for you, not a doll or a magazine model. Everyone you know, knows what you look like, every day, and usually a little dressed up. FI certainly does. For your wedding, you should be a nicely groomed , polished version of your everyday self. Not a vision of a stranger. You are the one they want to see, minus the circles under your eyes and worry lines you will get if you focus too hard on looking like someone else. This is not the only important day of your life, or the only one people will remember. Look like the nicest you, relax, put a smile on your face, and show the personality everyone loves you for. I know some brides who contracted for pictures, got them, out them away and hate them. Because with the extraordinary help of a bridal consultant, skin care person, hair and makeup pros, the person in their wedding pictures is not anybody they know. Not me. Like a stand in model. Don't do that to yourself. Be who and what you are already .

View Quoted Comment ❤❤❤❤❤ Lizzo! I think a playlist is in order!

Who says we all need to look “perfect”? Does your FH look like a male model from a glossy magazine? No? Will your guests look like perfect magazine models? No? So why do you feel like you need to?
If you feel you should maybe lose few pounds, start eating healthier, start exercising, get your body toned & stronger. There is no shame in it, self improvement is a great thing! But thinking that you have to look like a photoshopped, “perfect” magazine model in order to look “good enough” is not the healthiest attitude. Self acceptance & self love is the key to a happy, healthy life. Your FH loves you for you. He doesn’t love you because you look perfect. Same goes for all important people in your life.
Focus on being healthy, strong & happy instead. None of us will ever be perfect, but as long as we are willing to learn, improve & grow, we will always be ENOUGH!

I totally get how you feel. I used to be in excellent shape but started gaining a lot of weight a while before my wedding and I no longer felt like "myself." I did lose some of the weight so that helped me feel a little more confident but still felt down about the fact that I didn't look as good as I used to. I also have very large pores which I'm self-conscious about, make up covers it a little but not completely and my eyes look tiny unless I make certain "faces" to make them seem bigger. So I was definitely worried that I'd feel self-conscious the whole wedding.

Honestly, after I walked down the aisle I COMPLETELY stopped caring about my looks. I'm normally the type of girl that fixes my hair and makeup every few hours because I start to feel like I'm looking ugly, but on my wedding day I was just so happy that it all stopped mattering. I was just having such a great time with my HUSBAND and our family and best friends that I completely stopped feeling self-conscious. So I wouldn't worry too much, I think you'll forget all about your looks when the day comes too!

View Quoted Comment That is so reassuring to hear! Q